CassandraOfTroy

b mail me,i have everyday like this doubt is a way of life inflected by others,that make us feel that way,stay positve so easy to say so hard to do,......................................Martin

I can tell you ..I have had days like that…I have my days when I come on here and see what people are creathing and of course photographing..and say..wow..I wish I could do that…and how I will never be able to come close to some of the artworks I see…
then..I have someone new see my work and tell me how good they think it is…
just remember in art..and every day life…YOU are your own worst critic.

I often criticize myself too harshly..and I know I shouldn’t…
you shouldn’t either..I’ve taken a quick peek at your work on here and I like what I see..I will be commenting shortly..

while I almost disdain medocrity, it is one of those inevitable aspects of life…I see medocrity by degrees, and, there is nothing new under the sun…originality, rising above the crowd, finding acclaim is indeed a rarity to achieve. We can only go forward and hope for recognition.
So many people are vying for the same things, some get lucky….
the thing is to try and be less mediocre than the daily grind often forces us to be. While each of us are different we follow much the same roads, the same dead ends, etc…
A few are path-makers….sad, but, true….
I do not like the ordinary, but, then, there is some comfort there…

This is a journal I wrote awhile back, not sure if it will answer anything for you, but it expresses how I too have felt as you, and so many others do at times.

I question not my abilities, but my perception…my thoughts and my current visions. I contemplate of my reality, and reflect upon the essence of my being. Is it possible my ideas have failed me…is it possible I have become unknowingly lost. I wonder what story my art tells, and what my writing expresses. I wonder who I am in my times of difficulties. I wonder how many dragons I can slay. I wonder how many times I will trip before learning to pick my feet up. I wonder if my inner feelings are possibly a stumbling block to my greatest learning experiences…I wonder if my interpretations of myself are accurate, and where my spirituality is leading me to. I have to question the essence of my being, and experience who I am and without a doubt I must create. It’s an addiction, and a part of who I am… and when I pass from this great life I will know all that I loved, and all that I strived for was an effort of me being the best I could be. Life with it’s many twist and turns is a challenge with great hopes, and great fears, but when I create for myself I find the man I am…

Ordinary ? as a person, it’s a self interpretation, and although in your eyes this may be so you have the great vision to see it, and that alone puts you above the rest. In my eyes there is no failure accept in not trying and your successes in life should be measured by whats in your heart. To me that says more about a person than there outwardly appearing successes. You want better for yourself, and your scared because your human…how normal is that. We all have our days, the good ones and the bad ones, and when we look real close each of them has a great lesson for us.

This feeling of mediocrity affects all “artists”, be them painters, song writers etc….i read nothing but autobiographys these days and the more i read of people with a talent the more the fear the next painting, the next song…the next photograph….because we as humans always seem to feel weve got to do better than the last one all the time….its not true….we dont…. We compare far tooo much….and even on this site there is too much of a temptation to feel bad about your own work, your own creations and your own creative future when you see someone else producing fabulous works….dont. You are an individual, you create your work because you see something in your head and you try to capture it through a piece of glass, ...some of us then take that and work on it on our lap tops to make the image theirs…to personalise it into something we are proud of…..if you are proud of your work NEVER feel bad about other things…never doubt the future of your work or compare it with others….we dont want to be clones…use others work as inspiration….not comparison…..use your own thoughts dreams hopes and experiences from life and use them to create your work, because then your images, whether a landscape, a still life or a portrait will ALWAYS reflect a bit of you in them.
This might sound the mediocre ramblings of a middle ages man….but your work is YOUR work…a bit of you….other peoples is theres…a bit of them….you cant compare. We cant all be trail blazers….but we can be true to ourselves and create our own styles, and be happy with ourselves first…and the rest will follow, leaving the mediocrity way behind xx

Fear of success, or fear of failure? I think perhaps they might be the same thing in the long run. This is not something new to most artists – somewhere along the way we all have to deal with it. Do we hide in our little caves, our walls covered with our work and secretly enjoy our pride in what we’ve created, or do we step out into a world where we have no idea how or if it will be accepted?

I think your sister’s thoughts are pretty close.

You can have those fears, you can experience them, but what you can’t do is let them take over your life. Meet the fear, don’t shrink from it. Face it head on and you can overcome it.

You don’t have to be famous, or rich or well known for your work to be successful. That’s something that will come from inside, and I suspect you have it (success) already.

I suffer from Artist’s Angst (to give it a name) a lot but each time i do i turn it on it’s head and double my efforts to be creative so far it’s worked to push myself further…....so dig deep, chin up and don’t view it as a competition but as a passionate expression of your inner self! :0)

IT’s all very difficult for me. I battle many demons with and without, and so… sighs. feelings of being inadequate are very hard for me. and while, yes these feelings have me procrastinating, I don’t believe I have them simply TO procrastinate…. IT’s deeper than that. I need to eventually make a living at this. I need to be able to look around and say yup… for once in my life I did it right… It’s all very difficult to put into words, but I have felt comforted by what I read here… thing is most of you have something else you do, I… don’t. this is it… am not qualified for much of anything really… so this is really my opportunity to actually DO something, anything, with my life.

Much like you Cassandra I too have the same feelings, Im not qualified at anything else other than labor, and life is just too damn short to have to do shit we don’t like. Will I ever make it? I don’t know, and although Im not sure how it’s all going to turn out I have to live knowing Im doing my best, and that Im doing what I love. That’s all anyone can expect, and I know how you feel when you say it’s difficult to put into words. The opportunity is always there for us, and what we consider success will be based on how well we live our lives, and use the resources we now have available to us. Pushing ourselves forward isn’t always going to be easy, and that procrastination will lesson as we progress… because I know for me anyway, that step by step each day I live I become closer and closer to feeling accomplished although I have yet to make a living at it.

PANIC ATTACK honey….......... A lot of people have them. You will be fine…........ We all doubt ourselves at some stage in our lives…....natural part of being human….(annoying, but natural). Good luck with your art and career…............

my best advice against mediocrity is to continually match your skills against others. Enter competitions, online and in photo clubs, specifically against people that you perceive to be better than yourself….it gives you a marker to rise above. If you’re determined, you’ll rise higher and higher….you must keep testing yourself, imho. I feel inadequate and “beige” enough times to keep myself motivated to get out of that hole….you’re still at school, with good teachers…..they’re a great resource…..use em!!!