Why do I do this to myself? I knew deep down that something would probably happen, but I let him come over anyway. I knew that I would feel awful after he was here and while he was here all because of her. I just knew it. I knew that I would have to live with it, but I let him come anyway, I practically invited him. I told him he could stay with us in our room. I thought he was coming to visit me, or at least I told myself that he was coming to see me. Perhaps I just wanted him to come see me, not her. I didn’t even want her to figure into the equation. Alas, I think she was the main factor in his journey down here, and I most likely knew that. Sometimes my self-denial, rationalization, justification, and forgiveness work against me. Damn those characteristics that I so valued before but are now causing problems. Once more I am alone in this world with a large hole in my heart. Maybe, just maybe, I am not supposed to be happy. Do you really believe that there is only one true love for everyone? I think there is.