To get Apparel, Cases, Stickers, Wall Art and Home Decor delivered by the holidays, order today.

You Aren't the One

“I had no idea you are still so attached to him.”
“Of course I’m still attached to him. Don’t even for a moment tell me how I should feel. You have no idea.”
“We all lost a good friend that day.”
“NO! You don’t know. You weren’t the one who waited all day. You weren’t the one who had to force yourself to eat, even though you could hardly hold anything down, just so you wouldn’t pass out. You weren’t the one who stood in the driveway for an hour staring at the street, hoping you would see his car any minute. You weren’t telling yourself over and over that he would be here. He was coming. You would see his car any minute. Any minute now. You have nothing to worry about. Just ignore the knot your stomach is in. he is coming. You weren’t the one who then sat inside, alone, waiting for him to appear. You weren’t the one telling yourself that any minute he would walk through the doors. Any minute he would call. Just you see. You weren’t the one who called him every hour, house and cell phone. You weren’t the one who started calling all his friends in hopes that they had heard from him. You weren’t the one who called him every hour. You weren’t the one who could recite both his voice messages including pauses. You weren’t the one who had to try to sound strong when leaving a message. You weren’t the one crying quietly in a few messages. You weren’t the one who made your dad drive the route he would have taken, just to look for him. You weren’t the one who searched the roads half wishing you found signs of a car wreck and half hoping you didn’t. You weren’t the one who drove all the way to his house and back. You didn’t hear the break in your parents’ voice when they told you he was dead. You weren’t the one who had to hear sweet Reim howl at the news. You didn’t hear her break down. You didn’t hear Chii’s heart breaking when you had to tell her. You weren’t the one who heard Kali cry and only mutter ‘no’ over and over again. You weren’t the one who heard the hollow, emptiness of Kyle’s voice upon hearing the news. You weren’t the one who had to put even more sorrow in Crissi’s life. You weren’t the one who had to tell a teacher who was close to both of us. You didn’t have to hear her cry. You weren’t the one who heard countless others cry upon hearing the news. You weren’t the one who cried all the tears you could that night. You weren’t the one who didn’t stop crying for weeks. You weren’t the one who pushed your sorrow and suffering into the background to help the others. You never had to feel responsible, even for a second. You weren’t the one who had to bite your lip so hard it almost bled to stop the tears from flowing down your face. You weren’t the one who sat in a small room reading some of his inner thoughts about death, trying unsuccessfully not to let your whole class see you cry. You weren’t the one who lost the only person you thought could ever know you. You weren’t the one who lost your perfect match, body and soul. You weren’t the one who also died that day. You aren’t the one who wants to rip your heart out when you see people making out. You aren’t the one who suffers silently through the endless stories of past and new loves. You aren’t the one who still tries to mask the pain and be happy. You aren’t the one who is surrounded by happy couples. You aren’t the one who still breaks down into tears at the slightest thought. You aren’t the one who let the tears silently slide down your face in the middle of a presentation. You aren’t the one who broke down in your teacher’s office. You aren’t the one who still sometimes cries yourself to sleep. You aren’t the one who cries so much you get a headache and a fever. You aren’t me. You couldn’t possibly know. So do you still wonder why I am not over him?”

You Aren't the One

CassandraLavenza

Joined November 2007

  • Artist
    Notes
  • Artwork Comments 2

Artwork Comments

  • Trish Cooper
  • CassandraLavenza
desktop tablet-landscape content-width tablet-portrait workstream-4-across phone-landscape phone-portrait
desktop tablet-landscape content-width tablet-portrait workstream-4-across phone-landscape phone-portrait

10% off

for joining the Redbubble mailing list

Receive exclusive deals and awesome artist news and content right to your inbox. Free for your convenience.