I love to Hear You Laugh

I love to hear you laugh,
I know you are suffering,
You don’t know the word “dysphoria” when you hear it
but you are initmate assoicates in every other way.
Yuk.
That’s the way you feel.
I know.
I know that is what it feels like.
I see bags under your eyes, and know.
Immersion in Yuk.
How do you feel? “Yuk”
Is it anger, frustration, fear, are you sad?
I just feel “Yuk”.
Some time passes.
You are on MySpace and the gifts that are your friends offer you laughter.
I love to hear you laugh.

CarmelL › Portfolio › I love to Hear You Laugh

I love to Hear You Laugh by CarmelL

I have a very beautiful daughter.

In the comments section my wonderful friend Betty has left some wise words.
I realize that our conversation could have been conducted on Bubblemail with some privacy.
I’ve decided to leave them here.
There are enough people who deal with their hurt and turmoil in private.
There are enough people who find other people’s mental suffering too challenging to even ask “how are you” and try to understand. That includes people who love you.
I think that it’s OK to say you’ve been mentally ill or still are.
It’s like dealing with any chronic illness. If someone has bad arthritis there is less problem asking them about it or having them discuss how they feel, compared to anything to do with mental illness.

The words are here
not to challenge, though they may,
to share the processes of pain and healing
that involve the pathology of the illness,
and the relationships that transcend
the dis-ease.

Comments

betty porteusalmost 3 years ago

Carmel –
Greiving is the mental pain during our passage through life
We greive in anticipation – we move to the next role or stage and adapt.
Separation anxiety and greiving – is there a difference?
We are derailed when the light at the tunnel entrance becomes obsecured
our role then is to focus on being a moth for as long as it takes.
Thanks Betty. I wrote this instinctively and put it on bubble the same way.
Megan is on antidepressants and one of my tasks this week is to get her an appointment with a psychiatrist. I can deal with being a moth that does mosaics and goes for walks in lovely places, and drinks cups of tea. And I do see the light in my own head now, so finding it while going through this beside Megan won’t be as hard. She has some wonderful friends and they are very helpful in maintaining her mood.
Thank you for everything.
– CarmelL
betty porteusalmost 3 years ago

Carmel – physical exercise can turn around a mood disorder – have you considered doing something extreme like mountain climbing or the Santiago walk in spain – with Megan.
Time out of the nest allows you to impliment the changes needed for the girls in the family to find meaning in life.
Teenagers do not always have time to sit it out – they need intervention
CarmelLalmost 3 years ago

Betty thank you for reminding me about the exercise. Megan used to love cross-country running, but has lost the energy and inclination this year.
I’ll have to convince her to have a week away in the holidays doing some walks in places she’s not familiar with.
Was just very lucky and able to get her an appointment with the psych next wednesday thanks to someoneelse cancelling.
How’s the painting? Does your mosaic shleving look good?