Windfall
He came to slowly, pain slowly allowing his vision to return. He coughed as the dust, floating thickly in the air, got sucked into his lungs. With each cough, an arc of lightning flashed across his range of vision, and a spike of red-hot metal tried to split his brain in half. After a minute or so, the dust cleared enough to expose an opening in the mine shaft that was right in front of him. He staggered out into the open air and sucked in huge lungfuls of clean warm air. His coughing tapered off but the pain in his head just throbbed on and on.
He wandered around without any idea of where he was or even who he was. Blood from a gash on his scalp was slowly dripping down on his shirt leaving a clotted trail in the thick coating of dust on his head. He stumbled around, not sure of where he was or where he was going. His vision was starting to clear, but now he had a loud buzzing in his ears that was punctuated by the apparent pounding of his heart. He was standing, but was unaware of that.
He started to regain a part of his reason when he realized he was standing in front of a tent. After a minute of looking at it, he began to realize that the front of the tent was open. He stepped inside. The trapped heat in the tent made him start to see stars again as he sat down hard on the cot inside. He put his hand up to his head and touched the gash gingerly. His fingers came away covered with dust and blood. It hurt to touch his head. He stood up again and went to the mirror hanging on the tentpole to see the damage to his head. He saw that his head was covered with a shiny dust, a wound to his scalp bled profusely. As he squinted at his image, he realized that the shiny dust that covered his head was gold, the very precious metal he’d been digging for.
Comments
Your writing is always mesmerizing. Descriptive and makes the reader want for more. Excellent writing.
Thank you dearly. For some reason I seem to have lost a couple of weeks this month, or maybe I just didn’t use them as I should have. Your comments are always welcome. Thanks JH
– Jim Hall
another excellent story Jim! :)
Thank you Jeannette. I wanted to dash off another one to help my odds against the competition. And thank you for your prompt. As you can see, it’s a popular one this month, or maybe more people are just getting interested in writing for this Star Twister(50). Whichever it is, the result is that more stories are up to be judged. (glad I’m not a Judge). Ain’t that grande? JH
– Jim Hall
Fabulous!! Great twist!!
Always grand to hear from you,Alison. Say hi to the little ones. It must be great for them to have such a great story-teller for a Mom. Thank you for your comment. In a way, you are partly responsible for my writing for Twisted Tales, and for that, I thank you again. Right now I’ve got quite a buzz from beer and your comment could put me in a maudlin mood if I was crazy enough to do that, which I’m not. but however the contest goes, know that I will be a better writer for it. Don’t tell the others, but I thank them too! JH
– Jim Hall
Very well written, seemed like possibly a beginning chapter, I was thinking………then what happend? Good one, or two I should say. :) SZ
Like with women’s underwear, I’m trying to leave something for the imagination. Thanks, and may the best writer win(me, I hope). JH
– Jim Hall
short and sweet and I want to know what happens next! xoxox
Well, what happens next is the voting!.Just kidding, once again. I had to leave something to the imagination to pique the interest of the judges. I hope to win but we’ll see. Thanks for your comment Marg, and don’t be a stranger. JH
– Jim Hall
That’s what I call using your head, looks like he got lucky. Nice writing with a twist Jim.
Thank you for your remarks. Much better than an “awesome, dude!” You’re not too awfully bad, yourself! Thanks again. JH
– Jim Hall
Nice serrendpitous twist, Jim. If he surrvived his injuries. But You leave that up to us. I love that. In my twisred brain though, the guy goes to the doctor and pronounced in the pink of health. The good doctor prescribes ampicillin for his head injury and hydrocodone for the pain. While crossing the street to reach the pharmacy our hero is run over by a garbage truck and dragged six blocks to his death. But that’s just me.
Another great read, Jim.
I like the six blocks thing, George. That means he got to enjoy it a little before he died. Those who write have a little more imagination than those who don’t. To those who write, I pander. To those who don’t, I seek to entertain. Anyone left will just have to settle for TV. Thanks for your words, George. They are refreshing and original. And as soon as I can get my slow operating system to function correctly, I’ll read your "Bloodaxe Saga excerpt. I tried for an hour yesterday to get to the “all writing” part of your Profile page, but was unsuccessful. But today’s a new day. I’ll try again in a little while. Thanks again for your comment, George. JH
Wow, that was a really good story, Jim!
Thank you for the kind words. I hope that it’s good enough to win the contest! Seriously, i’m glad that there is a requirement to read the works of the other entrants. It has given me much insight about how to write. Thanks again. JH
– Jim Hall
Jim that gold dust is your hair is gunna make you shine! Watch out for those metal detectors…could give you a headache!! Gold star work!
As it happens, my hair is gold-colored, but as you can see from my avatar, it’ll be quite some time before I could prove it. Thanks for your precious words, and don’t be concerned about being gruesome. Believe me when I say that I know gruesome. Just keep on doing what you do, the world awaits! Thanks again! JH
– Jim Hall