Gauze.

What you do, is you cut it in strips.

And then you place those strips strategically so they cover what you don’t want out in the open. It depends on what kind of person you are.

You have to put it on, and then you have to make sure it stays. That’s when you get the surgical tape or something like that. Something unassuming unless you want people to know you got hurt. If that’s the case then you go with something purple or maybe with a pattern on it. It depends on what kind of person you are.

Then when you walk outside, you won’t have to worry that it gets damaged by the sun or the elements. You might be stiff at the end of the day, especially if the tape was pretty tight, so when you get home it’s probably a good idea to remove all of that stuff and put new stuff on. It’s best to do this with all the doors closed and all the blinds on the windows drawn so that nobody can see what you don’t want out in the open. It depends on what kinds of people you have for neighbors.

So if you’re going to reapply, just follow the steps the same way.

1) Cut gauze in strips
2) Strategically place strips of gauze
3) Use tape to secure strips
4) Walk outside fearlessly

Oh, and if anybody asks about what happened you have to have the story straight so write up something you can practice and get down by heart. Your heart’s where all the blood is so if you want to bleed less you have to keep that under control.

The healing process takes time, but it’s time well spent. It depends on what kind of injury you received, and what kind of person you are.

Above all, don’t even think that your injury is a big deal. That puts people off. Nobody likes to hear you bragging about what’s wrong with your body now that there was some accident or something.

Scars only work when they’re on purpose.

Clumsiness impresses no one.