I had a little epiphany today. It was at the post office – it was possibly triggered by the song playing on my borrowed “I can’t believe it’s not an ipod” mp3 player.
It sounds like a Star Wars quote, which I suppose, is not exactly a bad thing. Hate leads to the dark side. I guess, it’s so much easier to hate. Hating is often blaming others for our lack of success. Hating is the result of the truth being revealed that we’d rather not listen to. Think of almost any situation and you can come up with a hateful response to it that makes life a lot easier.
Hate can fester forever. It can be eternal – you’ve heard of people nursing a grudge for generations. That’s the power of hate.
So, let’s look at the obvious alternative, love. Is love easy? No. It’s not easy, it doesn’t make everything better, it requires effort beyond the call of duty and it needs to be constantly maintained. If hate is a leisurely descent to the dark side, love is like climbing a mountain. It’s treacherous, it’s difficult, it’s downright painful.
Logically speaking, considering the effort, love is not a winning proposition. It doesn’t make sense to love when the chances of it working are minor, when the struggle is so fierce. There are so many very rational reasons why we should not love.
Logic may have its place, but such a question is above logic. Maybe only the things hard won can be appreciated. Maybe it’s the challenge that drives us. Maybe it’s the hope that at some point, all the effort will be worth it. Maybe not this time, maybe not for decades, but one day … it will all pay off. All the blood and tears. What are tears but blood of the soul?
I reject the easy path. Maybe I’m insane. Maybe I’m just an idiot who does not listen to reason. But I reject the dark path, the dark side. I know I’ve faced the dark side and won – I can do it again. I’ve been called angel and demon and I guess I have been both, but the heavens are balanced on a razor’s edge of choice. I choose what I am and what I am becoming. Damned or redeemed, it shall be my choice and my choice alone – no one shall be responsible for my situation but me.
I will be no puppet of hate or blind fool of love – I will make my choices with open eyes.
butchart, 4 months ago
Nice and powerful words and choices…. it reminds me of someone i used to know well here on the bubble…....................b
deliriousgirl, 4 months ago
Yes, it is sooo easy to hate. But I think that the opposite of love is apathy, not necessarily hate. Apathy is very easy to fall into too, and most of the time the person doesn’t even know that he/she is there.
Shanina Conway, 4 months ago
The reward is so great….. the effort and chance is worth taking everytime;)
Cailean in reply to deliriousgirl’s comment, 4 months ago
Apathy is in some ways, across the table from love and hate. Love and hate are both attractive forces while apathy is disassociative. Hate, like anger, does have its purpose but not at the expense of love!
Cailean in reply to Shanina Conway’s comment, 4 months ago
That is how I feel. There is no risk too great. There is no mountain too high, nor river too deep. It is always worth striving for.
Cailean in reply to butchart’s comment, 4 months ago
This wasn’t a composition per se, just something I wrote, like my other journal entries. They’re not really stories, just … thoughts. Fragments.
butchart, 4 months ago
i realize that Cailean… but they still can be nice words…....... B
Zolton, 4 months ago
I think about his all the time. I tend to greet people as friends, with love. Then, as I hit the walls they have up, I become disillusioned with the fact that others don’t see things that way. We sometimes forget that others have different ways and views of the world. (Oh, see! Guess I am a chatter, too) As I get older, I think the dark path fades. The more experiences you have, the more you can see why others struggle with the concept of acceptance if you choose to look. I always want to twist around everything to see why people are the way they are. It helps ease the anger and hatred. I think we all have to realize it’s a choice so we don’t swim in it! Nicely said on your part.
Cailean in reply to Zolton’s comment, 4 months ago
True words, Zolton. Often as we experience new situations, we realize other people’s viewpoints. It is some of the reason why I am a pacifist. For myself, I cannot hate someone else from another country, because I know that they may just be like me. They are human and need to be loved. No matter how they may look or what god they believe in.
If you choose to look – again, true words. Relating to this and my above words, my grandfather was captured by the Russians in WW2. When he was in the POW cell, he could not speak Russian but both his guards and my grandfather knew how to play chess, it transcended language. They made pieces out of bits of broken furniture and scratched a chessboard into the dirt of the cell floor and played across the bars.
Through this experience, my grandfather did not hate his enemy, he understood them. They were all young men taken from their families to die far away for a cause they didn’t really care for any more, they just wanted to go home. He looked into the heart of his enemy and saw himself, and there was only love.
smitisan, 4 months ago
That’s pretty good for just random thinking, but your later clarification that love and hate are at least at the table is a good point. I’ve known a great many pacifists who got downright nasty and belligerent with anyone who disagreed with them. You have to be careful not to get so caught up in being on the right side that you don’t see your own hate. We are bodhisattvas all, and sometimes what looks like hate is just someone struggling his way toward a light he doesn’t even know is there.
Cailean in reply to smitisan’s comment, 4 months ago
Certainty is a weakness – and yes, in some ways, it’s OK to assess ourselves and make changes as we see fit again within ourselves, but not apply that to another. In context with what I wrote above, I only was referring to myself and my choices between love and hate. We all may be at different levels and we may be doing various lessons out of order compared to another. Where one person may have resolved a particular problem, perhaps the person they “look down on” has actually resolved a problem that the first individual hasn’t met yet. We do not know their lifes and their progress towards their dharma – only they do. All we can hope to know (and we are not certain) is our own progress.
We all do have the potential to transcend, to experience apotheosis as bodhisattvas – awareness of choice and the will to make those choices allows us to journey further. You don’t stub your foot on enlightenment – you are looking for it, even if you find it in an unusual place. It is choice that leads us.
We make our own choices and they are our choices. My choice in love with open eyes – that is my choice and I feel it shall be good for me. I cannot say what choice will be best for others. Some may read this and feel that my choice is good for them too. Others may see that it is not their choice. That is the way of things.
For myself, that people are consciously making their own choices is enough. For myself, freedom is the highest virtue; that people are not blinded by either love or hate is the goal.
lolowe, 4 months ago
Awesome and this is like you read my mind because I was pondering the same thing. It is so much easier to hate, to find fault or excuses or to feel sorry but it is so much harder to love or to see the happiness or maybe the purpose beyond everything. I loved your words, extrememly introspective and wise. Choose your own path, you’ve said it in a great array of words ;]
Cailean in reply to lolowe’s comment, 4 months ago
We must indeed find our own truth. For myself, that truth is love. I am happy with my choice, because it is my choice. Thank you for your kind words, Iolowe. :)
Sarai, 4 months ago
What do you find to love, Cailean? I am curious to know, since it is not easy to love, you must cherish chasing the path that requires more strength, courage and passion. I know I do. I ask what do you find to love to help me continue to love what I have.
S
Cailean in reply to Sarai’s comment, 4 months ago
There’s a surprisingly easy answer to that one. I love change. I love chaos. I am ever-changing and always uncertain, that is what I seek within the world and in another. All life is chaos and it is that vibrant true life that pulses within me that I seek in others. Indeed, my very presence sparks that chaos within others, the ability to be free of restraint and bondage, my gift that others may live free as they were meant to be. It is my purpose and my passion in life, to free the world, and I guess that is my love, that can be reflected in others. Those who attempt to free others, to create the benevolent chaos in the world have my love. Such as Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Jesus, many different peaceful revolutionaries, suffragettes like Susan B Anthony and Germaine Greer.
Those with their own love and care and the strength to change the world by their actions. Maybe only in small ways … but it all helps. All life is chaos. Therefore, chaos is my life.
Sarai, 4 months ago
Thank you. You will never know how your words just help me be who I am meant to be. Everyone wants to control and conform me. Well, everyone except me 18 year old son. I would never have given chaos any credit for who I am. But, that would explain a lot about the restlessness of my soul and the emptiness I have when I try to “conform”. My favorite “freedom fighter” would be my Jesus, my favorite heroines would be Clara Barton, Susan B. Anthony, Helen Keller among many others. The men you have mentioned above and others who have given their lives without their names ever being recognized to fight for what is right. Thank you sincerely.
Sarai