If my first breath were taken
by my own volition,
would I deem to make the same decision?
Because the life I’m living
isn’t close to worth it.
It’s true because I said it,
Leading an existence of poor health and bad credit?
It’s a wonder I don’t smoke weed.
Small wonder that what I need
is another drink
another toke.
Cannabis was just one more thing I’d oversee
don’t spend money on bud
because cigarettes do it fine for me.
Death is for free.
If I am lucky,
the cancer won’t kill me
if not, the doubt surely will,
and I struggle through good times
and find myself discontented still.
My force of will
is what keeps me going,
keeps my river flowing.
Despite the failure of other organs,
my heart is beating strong.
How long
will I go on before I’m gone?
Before I realize that I’m wrong?
Despite who I am,
my lack of compassion will be the death of me.
Take the breath from me.
If not that,
I will surely succumb to my habits.
Why do men so like lions
suddenly die like rabbits?
I find it funny
that they all said my future would astound me,
but who can I turn to
when the enemy’s all around me?
Or that’s what my mind is telling me.
If I should speak an elegy,
let it be my own.
A subtle belief that I’ve believed:
that what if all that man’s achieved
was just a lie?
How can you call it evolution
when everyone in a line should die?
There is no success.
I am my own successor,
If I accept all the things that make me lesser,
surely I might still make a few steps pass go.
But where can I go when I know
that I live inside the foe?