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To a Faggot (With Apologies To Rabbie Burns)

Where once the mighty faggot roamed
Was also where the ocean foamed
And now where each of us is homed
This ancient level ground.
But no more you all have groaned,
Please listen now to what I’ve found.

The faggot was a wily beast
Who always tried to miss the feast
Or the main course at the very least.
Not wanting you to fill your plate
With his meaty dumplings, full of taste
Which told the faggot he’d be late.

The faggot rather would be free
Instead of feeding you and me
With hunting it did not agree.
A blur beyond the hedgerow
That shadow by a willow tree
And naught but tasty smell to follow.

The faggot now is tamed, I fear
With memories it sheds a tear
As it’s patted and called dear
Short days before it’s hung
To grace the table of those near
When it’s praises they are sung.

The village hall’s a fitting place
To put a smile on every face.
As our table the faggots grace
Remember that on Burtle hill
Where faggots roamed and ran apace
The memory lives still.

So raise your foaming glasses high
As with cider, beer you try
A tribute that will split the sky
That mighty beast that’s not forgot
Before you eat him bye and bye
All praise the potent faggot.

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To a Faggot (With Apologies To Rabbie Burns) by 


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