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Perpetuate Self-Loathing

I can hear my dilemma, i feel I’m falling through a blank canvas background, when all turns black i begin to cry for her…

i try to open my eyes to reality and forget my pain, but still i stay so far away
i try to run but fall and cut myself… i bleed, but the pain of not having you in my arms hurts much more, i see the door…

and thus with a push the door opens and I’m greeted by my shadow, he says I’m pathetic, i get it, I’m shit… so low… so down… i look at the ground with an expression of pure failure and sadness a tear forms and hurries down my cheek. Cold and dark where is the spark? the key to the gate? the only exit? cant escape the clutches, the chains. I am a god…. a god of making a fool of myself, only one truth in my life, and that’s my love for you, but still i had to go and ruin it, bit by bit, my guilty conscience, took over me and here i am.. a lonely man, no not a man! a child whining for attention, for sympathy… i don’t deserve the key.

keep me locked up in this tight room, and leave me to play with this string and my so random thoughts….

time is nothing now, the only thing i count are the rights and wrongs, there is only one right… and that was loving you.

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Comments

  • Gem Eve
    Gem Eveover 6 years ago

    I hope light’s shines soon, Cammy.

    Don’t ever think you’re pathetic.
    Or a failure.

    You’re a great writer.
    With too many feelings. =P

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