A young artists’ model called Jude.
Would pose for a group in the nude.
They got down to their art.
Apart from young Bart.
Who did things remarkably rude.
A young artists’ model called Jude.
Would pose for a group in the nude.
They got down to their art.
Apart from young Bart.
Who did things remarkably rude.
gladders
haha Good one Brian….. :-)……a limerick group does sound good.
pat oubridge
Brian I’m still trying to think of some, watch this space
Colin Cartwright
A laugh a day, deprives the quack of his pay!
Rhys Herbert
:) Brian you’re a genius when it comes to these!
Cherished
Ha ha i have not done this before but here goes lol now youve started something.
There was an old man called Ron
Whose mind was all but gone
He ran down the street, to shuffle his feet
But the road just went on and on.
Brian Towers:
Hey, after so long I’d forgotten about my little venture into limericks. I suggested that someone might be interested in moderating a group of limerickers – I make my own words up. Then you come along and show how well it could go. Ron’s a winner Cheryl.
BLYTHART
I know who young Bart is … his full name is Bart W. O. Risen (an anagram of Brian Towers) tee hee!
Brian Towers:
You’re good at dem angiogram thingies Dave. I still think if anybody is willing to take on the job a limerick group would be very successful. How about you?
BLYTHART
… here’s a five minutes (or less) effort:
There was a young P.M. called Brown,
Who went for a night on the town;
He met Brian Towers;
They argued for hours
And both were left wearing a frown.
BLYTHART
A Redbubble artist called Bri,
Was noted for being quite shy;
He painted a nude,
But thought she looked rude,
So he added a shirt and a tie.
You’re not REALLY shy :) I used my poetic licence (it expires next week), ‘cos “was noted for being quite friendly and extrovert” wouldn’t scan …. haha.
Brian Towers:
You should be a professional limerick writer Dave. Witty and funny. I reckon you are definately the man to run a Limerick Group….with a section for mucky ones of course. Just think of the benefits. You could claim in the rules all copyrights and publish a book every few months.
BLYTHART
I’d be no good because I would refuse to use the mucky ones. For me the challenge of limericks is to be amusing without resorting to smut for a cheap laugh. Saucy maybe … but smutty … no.
Brian Towers:
But what’s sauce for a gander is mucky for the goose. I class mucky as saucy, no worse than ones I get from you occasionally so I guess we’re on par. As you know I much prefer innuendo to smut and swearing. Regardless of how funny a comedian, including Catherine Tate and Billy Connolly, I refuse to watch when they rely on foul language.
BLYTHART
I define “saucy” as the sort of humour you and I sometimes indulge in and “smutty” as just blatantly obvious with no innuendo or subtlety. “Mucky” means smutty to me and saucy to you, so we will have to bear that in mind when translating from Toweresque to Edwardian and vice versa :)
BLYTHART
A saucy young lady called Gertie
Was often accused of being dirty.
She’d wink and she’d pout,
But leave all in no doubt
That she really was just being flirty.
Brian Towers:
There you go Dave, another top rater. We already have enough stock to start a book. I can see I will have to get my limerick head on and try to add to the list.
BLYTHART
A teacher whose surname was Towers,
Gave lessons that lasted for hours.
His pupils got bored;
Fell asleep and then snored,
So he made them take lots of cold showers.
Brian Towers:
The man’s a genius! I can see you’ve been wasting you talents all these years and should have been a professional limericker. There now, I bet you can make up a poem with that Towers word. 10 out of 10.
BLYTHART
This one’s about a guy having problems with scanning his limericks.
A struggling limericker named Tim
Wrote five-line verse in the gym.
The first pair and last line
Would usually scan fine,
But the second and third weren’t so trim.
Brian Towers:
And yet another goodun. I can see you’re getting carried away with these. I might even have to dig out some of those I did for that Bog Standard Rhymes booklet. Pit no one else is likely to see these new ones though. Why not stick ’em on your pages?
BLYTHART
I have a book on my shelf called Bog Standard Rhymes … written by a scholarly gentleman called Ryan Bowers … or was it Brian Towers :)
Pat Yager
Bri and Dave have a friend they call Pat
They never know where she is at
They can’t tell her apart
From some of her art
Nor whether she’s thin or is fat
Now Brian’s a stickler for verse
And Dave’s got a line that’s much worse
But neither is slow
To get up and go
When the other one starts to get terse.
“It’s MY turn right now,” so says Dave,
“My artwork should get that next fave!”
“You’ve had one too many,
And you know that’s not funny!”
“It’s MY turn to now get a rave!”
What to do, what to do, what to do!
“We’ve been a great pair, just us two
“Now we’ve been invaded
By a girl who’s just traded
Her paint time for RB to view!”
But fast friends even from the beginning,
Bri and Dave will always be winning;
Their furrowed brows wrinkle
Their eyes all atwinkle
Their fan clubs will always be grinning!.
Brian Towers:
More gremlins in RB’s works. I tried to use Reply earlier and it wouldn’t respond so sent you a bubblemail Pat. Having another enjoyable read through you poem, I now find Reply is working. Do you reckon they’re just trying to confuse and old fella – it’s not too difficult?
BLYTHART
We two had better watch out,
Now Pat is lurking about,
She might get a fright
At the stuff that we write,
But we’ll know if she does, ‘cos she’ll shout.
BLYTHART
Limericks can be quite impulsive,
With the risk of some being repulsive,
But Brian and I ..
We really do try
Very hard not to be so compulsive.
Brian Towers:
I can see I’ll have to start addressing you two as the Bard and Bardess. Starting out so well I reckon you can’t top your new limericks so will be going from Bard to worse….or in this case verse. Excellent additions in both pun and rhyme to our growing output. Fancy the job of Poet laureate: the job’s going begging?
BLYTHART
A laureate’s life can be fun,
When jumping from rhythm to pun.
He sits on his throne,
Which is just his on loan,
And rests till his verses are done.
Pat Yager
Where IS that good old Laurie at?
I thought it was here that he sat
But I b’lieve it’s now true
That the loan has come due,
And nothing is left but his mat.