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There are no rewards or punishments in nature only consequences.

this is the story of consequences

schedules

Wouldn’t be so bad if you were allowed to leave

hold in the tears.

Or they might think your crazy…

hold in the breakdown

or they wont let you go.

Lights out

listening to the snoring of your new room mate

the scuff of the people walking up and down the hall

all night

the drip of the tap and the glug of the toilet in a room 3 doors down

you toss and turn, wanting only someone you love to tell you its going to be ok

trying to find a comfortable place on the scratchy pillow.

Slowly shivering under the thin blankets

but to scared to ask for more

finally you wake, not remembering falling asleep

to the yell of “BREAKFAST”

you move fast so you don’t miss out.

Standing in line with your tray.

Swaying because your still half asleep

and you know you look like shit

but who cares

so does everyone else

once your finally served

you turn around and terror grips

cause you don’t know where you can sit

who looks the least insane

the one who is still half comatose?

The one who has all his food in a certain place on his tray?

the one who is smiling and trying to talk to everyone?

The one muttering?

The one tapping and shaking so much the food is barely on the table?

Finally you decide.

Keep your head down and don’t talk

just bolt the food down and escape to the shower.

The only place your really alone

the only place you can cry and not be at risk of weird looks or fake sympathy

the fucked thing is

all you want is to get out

and they wont let you

but as soon as you start to make friends

and start to live a little

through jokes, funny stories, laughter, music

your told that you can leave.

So sigh with relief

but then come the good byes

it was only a day and a half

but you could connect

they didn’t worry why you were in

they wanted to know who you really were as a person

because they genuinely cared.

So from the past 3 days i have 4 memories:

having people who love me visit and do nothing but hug me

being ignored by everyone and wanting nothing but a smoke

playing music with new friends in the courtyard in the sun

not being allowed to cry

The End

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There are no rewards or punishments in nature only consequences. by 


Comments

  • Peter Shanahan
    Peter Shanahanover 4 years ago

    consequences, love it, full on emotion. I realy am speechless at the honesty in this piece! Takes me back to some past experiences.

  • Thanks. it took alot to put this one up…i’m glad it means something to someone else.

    – Brianna Muir

  • abigcat
    abigcatabout 4 years ago

    Raw emotion, very powerful read :-))

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