This tale is related to my nights spent working in a supermarket liquor department. I began working there late July last year, and upon starting I was informed of a man described as Magnet Man. He sounds like a super villain and to the management, he probably was. To shorten the story, expensive bottles of wines and spirits are fitted with a grey security ring around the cap, to deter thieves. The idea is that it doesn’t allow the thief to open the bottle. There is a magnetic device behind the counter that staff use to take off these grey tags.

However, Magnet Man has devised his very own magnetic device, thus bypassing the need for a staff member to help him, or to even serve him. He happily serves himself. . .

Saturday 15th August

I caught Magnet Man in the act today.

The store was busy, a constant flow of customers coming to the register. But I’ve learned to watch for him now, him and any others like him. And so I spotted him, in the first aisle, in the corner, looking around, left to right.

I finalised the transaction with the lady I was serving. I knew had very little time, so small a window of opportunity, so I gave her her change and receipt, closed the register and hurried to the aisle, just in time to see Magnet Man slipping a bottle down the front of his pants.

Busy or not, I knew I had to ignore all other people in the room and headed straight for him. It didn’t matter to me that there may be other potential thieves in the store at the time. This was Magnet Man, the man who had been stealing from us for months, possibly longer, who had stolen thousands of dollars worth of liquor in surrounding suburbs. This was the chance to claim a trophy for myself.

Magnet Man had also placed a beer stubbie on the top shelf, I guess momentarily while he put the wine bottle down his pants.

I approached him, calmly, and said, ‘Excuse me, would you mind remmoving that bottle from your pants?’

He looked at me, with a look that may have been surprise, and replied, ‘What? What bottle? I don’t have anything’.

’Don’t give me that shit’, I told him. ‘I know you have something, I saw you do it’.

’There’s nothing, I’m looking around, mate’.

’You’re not putting it back?’.

‘Mate, I haven’t got anything’.

‘Do you want me to get the managers in here so we can all wait until you take the bottle out of your pants?’.

‘Get the manager, I don’t care’.

I turned, and took a few steps towards the phone on the counter, also keeping an eye on both exits. There was a clinking of glass bottles behind me, so I turned again to see what Magnet Man was doing.

‘I put it back, see’, he said as he pointed to a bottle with the security ring still attached to it.

It may well have been the bottle he tried to steal, but I wasn’t completely convinced. But I was convinced that I didn’t want to let him walk out with anything.

‘You put it back?’, I asked.

‘Yea, mate. I got nothing’.

‘Pat your shirt and pants for me’, I said, as I motioned on my own body what I wanted him to do.

He did so, and there was nothing to be seen. He had indeed put the bottle back.

‘Okay, I want you to leave the store now, and never return’.

‘Okay’, he said as he picked up the beer stubbie from the wine shelf. ‘Can I buy this first?’.

‘No, you can’t buy that’, I said as I took the bottle from his hand. ‘I want you gone. You’re the kind of clientele I don’t need. Get out, and do not ever come back. If I see you here again, the police will be called’.

‘Alright, well, I just want to call my girlfriend first to let her know you have something on special. Then I go’.

I told him to go once more, but he said all he wanted to do was to call his girlfriend about this wine, then he would leave.

’It’s me, the guy at the supermarket won’t serve me. They have that wine, that Penfolds on special. No, wait, it’s not on special. . .’.

I took a look at my queue and explained to them all how sorry I was, but I had to deal with this thief and see that he was out of the store before I could serve them.

One of my customers, a young man, told me he used to work in a liquor store, and would gladly watch Magnet Man as I began to serve.

Within a minute, Magnet Man had walked out, hopefully for good.