I long for the unattainable
A chasm grows within me
And the traits which humanized me,
Are slipping away
I hate every ounce of my being
I don’t want to be me anymore
Perhaps I just don’t want to BE anymore
I’m at the end of my rope
Should I just let go?
Or climb high enough to tie it around my throat?
I will die alone
Because I live alone
I hide behind chemicals
Like a true coward
I seek protection
With my own self-destruction
My needle’s pointed at E
And there’s no fuel to fill me
I’m broken
Twisted
Marred by my the deep hatred I carry for myself
I’m disgusting
Every breath I take sickens me
If only I could bring myself to let go
Let go of this material realm
And step into a place that provides me with a chance
A chance to feel happiness
An emotion with which I am unfamiliar,
But I hear good things
It seems so unlikely
As my life heads further into darker territory
My defective mind is falling apart
I feel myself dying slowly inside
I hope one day the outside follows suit…