Episode 12 - OMG, It Wasn't For Peanuts! by Brian Pelkey

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Episode 12 - OMG, It Wasn't For Peanuts! by 

Chip went on a worldwide media tour soon after selling the photo he took of Herman with Sly down at Snowy Hill. The photo appeared on the cover of a special edition of Esquirrel Magazine which sold out quickly in San Francisco and Paris. Sly, or whatever his/her name turned out to be, was immediately fired and sent packing. Hysterical screams were heard coming from the Cedar Tree Lodge the night before Herman disappeared for 45 days at a secret “Rehab” Center that had been recommended by both Tiger and Jesse. And the next time Precious was seen she was dressed in black as Chip had dreamed…well, not quite, it was a black burqa to hide her tears and the new Kobe diamond necklace.

The media tour happened so fast and unexpectedly that Chip never had a chance to talk with Precious nor prepare for the difficult questions reporters were sure to ask and all the offers from special interest groups.

Chip first appeared on the “Larry King, Is He Alive Show”. Larry didn’t wait to ask a most difficult question: “How does a parent explain this photo to their children?” Chip said that he wasn’t Dr. Phil, but two adults sometimes like to keep their relationship fresh by dressing up, role playing and partaking in games such as Leap Frog or Pin The Tail On The Fox.

By the time Chip appeared on “Fox News” he had over $150K of new clothes and a new Rolex on his wrist. Several times during the interview Chip reiterated that you betcha none of this would have happened if it wasn’t for Obama’s Healthcare Plan failing to cover transgender and transspecies operations.

Chip stated to Fox Blitzer that it was a simple case of “Hero becomes heroine on heroin” (Huh?) and that he felt that the Peanut Gang was a threat to society by exploiting one of our basic flaws… “The inability to eat just one peanut and then close the can.” They say that there is 14 servings in a 15 ounce can of nuts…come on, lets get real. Imagine what would happen if they suddenly stopped serving Peanut Coladas by the pitcher. We must reduce our dependency on foreign peanuts and peanut oil.

It would take quite a while for this story to quiet down. Chip did not return directly home. The papers reported that he was meditating somewhere along the Appalachian Trail, but DNC sources said they saw him boarding a plane for Argentina. ET reported that Sly was offered the lead role in a new movie which was to be a spinoff of “Sleeping With The Enemy”. Secret sources report that Herman has been sending Precious prepared written apologies every day and that he has been meeting in Augusta, Georgia with a new lawyer, a marten named Ricky. To Be Continued….

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  • Neil Swenser
    Neil Swenserover 4 years ago

    I am starting to entertain the theory, and I’m not alone on this that “chip” might in fact be an alien. Sent her to plunder our planets fragile peanut supplies. Now I now this might seem far fetched but if you look closely you may see the similarities with chip and E.T. All we have to hear is “Phone home” and we will know for sure !

  • Herman is disgusting…but we all knew that.


    – Brian Pelkey

  • salsbells69
    salsbells69over 4 years ago

    Role playing….LMAO…Gold…

  • I’ve never drank so many peanut coladas that I asked my fox if she would like me to be a squirrel tonight..LOL. Thanks, Sal. :)


    – Brian Pelkey

  • John Schneider
    John Schneiderover 4 years ago


  • Thanks, John…I think?


    – Brian Pelkey

  • Angela  Burman
    Angela Burmanover 4 years ago

    Well Brian, now I know you have lost it :))))))))))))))), but not the plot. I just burst out laughing as soon as i start to read it. People are looking funny at me now when I leave my studio because they know I am on my own in there. Brilliant my friend

  • I’m not 100% sure exactly when I lost it, but I know it was during the Winter and Spring just amplifies the condition. Everything will be fine UNTIL funny people start looking at you. :)) Thank you for your support in this difficult time..LOL


    – Brian Pelkey

  • artwhiz47
    artwhiz47over 4 years ago

    Now I’m really scared…. Film at eleven? I thought the trans-species rider was carried….

  • I could be totally wrong..from what I hear..Aliens are going to get health coverage. Did you see that obit about a guy in N’awlins that was murdered..25 years old, single with live-in girlfriend, something like 9 children, and no job. He received $156K in assistance from the government a year!!! The obit. described him as an entrepeneur. :) Indeed, he was. On the news the other night I watched a segment where heroin is being sold to children much cheaper than weed. Very addictive and not an addiction that they will ever likely be able to beat. I really hate watching the news.

    – Brian Pelkey

  • Rick  Friedle
    Rick Friedleover 4 years ago

    LOL Great shot!

  • Glad you like, Rick. Thanks.


    – Brian Pelkey

  • Marvin Collins
    Marvin Collinsover 4 years ago

    Well, I think that Sly Lee Fox was hired by Chip to pull off this blatant publicity stunt, and it worked too. After all, how many of us have been interviewed on the “Larry King, Is He Alive” show?

  • You could be right. If it was me, I’d be spending a lot more time down at The Lodge rather than running all over the country trying to make fame and fortune. LOL


    – Brian Pelkey

  • MaryinMaine
    MaryinMaineover 4 years ago

    Brian – I hope spring and ice out come quickly……so you can get outside! LOL

  • Someone called me yesterday and told me they saw two loons on a small area of the lake that had opened near shore!!! I went down there with my camera…two male mergansers..LOL. BUT…there was about a foot wide crack in the ice clear across the bay!!! High 70s today…80’s now predicted for tomorrow…Episode December..oops, I mean 12 in the books..this series is about to get cancelled!! Praise The Lord. LOL


    – Brian Pelkey

  • Kimberly Chadwick
    Kimberly Chadwickover 4 years ago

    Definitely a case of cabin feature…..However at least you have taken us all for a great ride to insanity-ville! Keep it up darlin!

  • If you want insanity..watch the news. I can’t watch it at 11 anymore..won’t be able to sleep. I don’t know how this story will end..maybe…The ice came off the ponds and Chip was never seen again. LOL Thanks Kim..for not judging me too harshly LOL. There are members of the GOP that won’t even talk to me anymore!!


    – Brian Pelkey

  • EagleHunter
    EagleHunterover 4 years ago

    LOL…that is so funny!

  • Thanks, Pam. It has been great fun.


    – Brian Pelkey

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