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Walls

all my life
all i’ve known
is walls
staring
straight into a brick facade
stone by stone
i built up these walls
blood and heartbreak
the mortar
holding together these
guards
repelants of
love
feelings
emotions
a wall around my cold heart
a wall so strong
no one
nothing
could break
i wouldn’t let it topple
i wouldn’t risk
the pain
the vulnerability
instead
i pushed love away
allowed no one to enter
for so long
i was hardened
i resisted
until you cane along
and mesmerized me
i don’t know what happened this time around
what was so different
i fell for you so hard
this ice heart i guarded so carefully
melted in an instant
your smile
your everything
broke down these walls in a moment
i feel them crumbling
deep inside
an avalanche
a little more every time
tumbling
rock
by steady
rock
and
it scares me
i’ve been waiting
all my life
for someone
to break these walls
i put up
but now that it’s happening
i don’t know what to do
the feelings i’ve pent up
come pouring out
and i’m drowning
in love
and it happened so fast
you say
“don’t let ‘em fall just yet. after all, we’ve barely known each other for what, a month? it’s still too soon to let those walls come down.”
and i believe you
agree with you
with all my heart
because that’s exactly what my head is saying
but i can’t stop them
the walls have unruly minds of their own now
but i remember you once saying
“follow your heart”
and i guess
that’s what i’m doing
because
even though this cold, dusty heart has been locked up and guarded for so long and has no clue what love is
it’s the only sense of direction i’ve got left now
so i will follow my heart
and love you to the fullest extent i know how
and we’ll see where it takes us

whether we like it or not
the walls have crumbled
and
i love you.

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i don’t know what’s going on. but i do know that what we’ve got, it’s something different. and i know that it’s far too soon for these walls to come crashing down. but if i had felt that what we have is not what i think it is, i would have fought their avalanche more than i have.
for years, i have worked to keep these walls up. to keep people out. to keep love out. to keep true happiness out. because the end result of i those things, i knew to be pain. and i didn’t want to suffer more than i had to. but with you, i didn’t even have a chance to think about just how far i was diving in. and now, i’m a million feet of the ground, drowned in love and happiness. and i know any moment, i could plummet back to reality. and that scares the shit out of me.
i guess…i guess i just want you to understand how much you mean to me. and how much those walls meant to me.
and the fact that i Don’t know what love is. but as much that i Do know, well, that’s how much i love you. <—- haha did that even make sense? :P

Comments

  • Mark Ramstead
    Mark Ramsteadalmost 5 years ago

    Perhaps you have constructed a door? To do that of course you have to tear down a wall…

  • hahaha aww you made me laugh!! ;D
    but i do rather like your train of thought! i think i shall ponder that tonight :)
    much thanks!

    – bloodyactress

  • Misunderstood24
    Misunderstood24almost 5 years ago

    Wow…Amazing.
    I love it.
    And your information, while borderline crazy, was amazing too.
    Well done.
    Instant favorite!

  • thanks!!! :D

    – bloodyactress

  • Alice Kent
    Alice Kentalmost 5 years ago

    favourite favourite favourite. so beautiful :) Go for it, love him to your fullest, it will be good :)

  • thank you soso much :) xoxo

    – bloodyactress

  • westynimages
    westynimagesover 4 years ago

    A wall cannot be broken down in a day with a battering ram
    Rather it is taken down… piece by piece.
    It is taken down with bloodied hands and an endlessly patient, persistant heart.

  • absolutely beautiful :) *think think * :P

    – bloodyactress

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