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Masochist

and now
i think i’ve let myself go
let these walls tumble
drowned myself in love
become too dependent and vulnerable
and if you chose to drop me now
i swear
it will be awful
a pain
like i’ve never felt before
a heart break
like i’ve inflicted so many times before
but never once experienced
but that’s what i need
what i’ve been wanting
a masochist?
yea
i guess you could say i am
emotionally
and
physically
a masochist
for love

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realizing just how far i’ve let myself get.
but also realizing that if this takes a turn for the worse, i will be getting what i have longed for for so long: to feel the pain that i have inflicted on previous lovers, but have not once felt myself.
a masochist? yes.

Tags

love, pain, walls, get, feel, drown, awful, tumble, inflict, masochist

Comments

  • Misunderstood24
    Misunderstood24over 4 years ago

    Wow…
    Amazing piece.
    The emotion is powerful and I feel it.
    Wonderful work.
    love and hugs

  • thank you so much. yea i’ve been writing a lot today. but i’ve been banned from the computer haha. so i haven’t really had a chance to put them all up lol. but hopefully i’ll get the rest of them up sometime tonight :) thanks for reading!

    – bloodyactress

  • Mark Ramstead
    Mark Ramsteadover 4 years ago

    With hurt comes the ability to heal. I love your “from the heart” writing. You just pour it out onto the page…

  • ahh yes, i’ve learned that if you can trust anyone in this world, it is a paper and pencil. writing has definitely become a way to express myself, a way to put words to how im feeling and just get it all out so that it doesn’t fester in my soul.
    thank you sososo much for all th lovely comments and for taking the time to read my work :) it really means a lot.

    – bloodyactress

  • Alice Kent
    Alice Kentover 4 years ago

    so gorgeous :) There is so much of your heart in this piece :) But dont be scared about it, or let it put you off, cos while its good, its soo good :) And hopefully it wont end… There comes a point where you dont feel you will ever be apart from him and that you will get through anything bad that happens… xxx

  • yes it was so good :)
    i really hope he and i can work through this, because he means SO much to me.
    thank you very much for reading :) xoxo

    – bloodyactress

  • westynimages
    westynimagesabout 4 years ago

    not a masochist… simply determined to find one with the key
    the key that will fit the door that opens not only your heart… but your mind.

  • ooo i like that! :) hmmm well, that sounds a little less…harm-inflicting ;P
    thanks :)

    – bloodyactress

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