Last Day to Live

it was my last day to live
but somehow i survived
but the pain is crippling
and the memories are too much
a gaping hole in my chest rips open
at even the slightest remembrance
of that beautiful life
won’t let myself think of a life without you
because a life such as that
is not worth living
so do me a favor
please kill me now
for it was my last day to live
and somehow i survived…


well, believe it or not, this is about my one true passion in life…theater. i have been with the same theater group for nearly 6 years now. that theater has become my second home, and the beautiful people and friends there have become my second family. and that is no exaggeration. i love that theater and the people there. they have given me friendship. they have given me love. they have given me opportunities. and they have quite possibly made me the actress i am today. but i have recently had to make an excruciating decision to leave them. there are many reasons behind this change, but it’s mostly to “expand my horizon” and get more experience, as i am looking to this field as a career. anyways, Sunday night was my last performance ever on that stage, and yesterday night was the last time that i will see many of them ever again. and that has absolutely shattered my heart. i hope to come back to that theater again one day, but until then, i am going to miss everyone and everything dearly. my last night with them literally felt like my last night to live.


Comments

  • lacewren
    lacewrenover 5 years ago

    Sufi prayer:
    God, break my heart, that I might grow a better one.
    I love the blank holy now of theater.

  • Misunderstood24
    Misunderstood24over 5 years ago

    We ask a lot from a thing (person, place, idea…so it’s a noun…nevermind xD) that is up there somewhere…it’s not promised, it’s not seen…it’s just reliant upon faith and duty and some other scary words. This piece, it really hit home to me. Perhaps I care too much…perhaps I care not enough, but I can say that I’m glad that wasn’t your last day…you’re gonna be something and I am gonna be the guy who says ‘I knew her from her Redbubble days…’ Keep up the good work, I am quite the fan.

  • im glad that it had an impact:)
    haha i hope so!
    thanks for reading

    – bloodyactress

  • westynimages
    westynimagesalmost 5 years ago

    dammit girl… been there 3 times
    woke up to the next day each time.
    somehow we survive
    because we are still learning the rules and the book isnt finished

  • yea, i did survive :)
    if i may speak to what this piece means literally for me, i moved on to a new theater and while, yes, i missed my old family/friends dearly, i truly made another family. or at least the beginnings of one :) i made a ton of new friends and found a new home in the theater community :D
    so yes, i survived, and the book is still writing itself :)
    thank you for reading xoxo

    – bloodyactress

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