For You...

all these cool, pale notches
lined up nice and neat
like rows of soldiers at attention
marching foward with one uniting goal
seeking out the faint blue webs of veins
up and down my arm
each notch has a story written within it
each notch a murder attempt
each murder attempt gone by without a fair trial
without a trial at all
except the self-loathing boiling in your blood
and i tell you
from expirience
do not slip away
into that beautiful oblivion
it’s fake peace will disappoint
do not strip this world of your beauty
and seek out the beauty of a decieving serenity
do not leave our smoldering love for eachother unfinished
and aspire for the love of numbness
do not leave me here to die inside
while you die through and through
fight hard against those cool, pale soldiers
win your war
do not give in easily
i won mine
now it’s your turn
do it for love
do it for life
do it for you
guarantee yourself that fair trial
and do not free fall into that beautiful oblivion
because you can’t plead guilty to suicide
my love…

Currently unavailable for purchase

ummm… it’s about getting through your darkest hours and not giving in to the ease of suicide…
think about what you do before you do it…think about the ones you’ll leave behind, the ones you love and the ones that love you…is it really worth it? or can we stick it out together?
from the mind and heart of one whos already been face to face with these deadly nights to another who’s facing the monster head on.
if it helps…read from a loved one’s point of view.
and yes, that does include your dog :)


love, suicide, beautiful, not, soldier, leave, do, murder, trial, guilty, oblivion, plead, notches


  • Selkie
    Selkieabout 5 years ago

    Wow, girly.
    The imagery is as strong as the emotion. That you are such a strong poet so young is an inspiration. xox

  • thank you soo much selkie!! that means a lot to me :)

    – bloodyactress

  • 3XEternity
    3XEternityabout 5 years ago

    Beautifuly written I love it!

  • thank you muchos!!!! :D

    – bloodyactress

  • ZacharyHS
    ZacharyHSabout 5 years ago

    This is lovely. I love it and so true :)

  • thanks :) glad you liked it

    – bloodyactress

  • DragonFlyer
    DragonFlyerabout 5 years ago

    This is very powerful writing from a very deeply understood perspective… You would have had to ‘see’ far too much of life to understand things as deeply as you do at your age… You sound like a wonderfully creative and talented young woman. Creativity and creative expression – through whatever medium – is one way to help yourself (and others around you) through those darkest times.. to pour the feelings that are too strong out into your art can truly help..
    I admire you a lot.
    K xxx

  • thank you so much! i really appreciate it.
    and yes i do use writing as a form of coping as well as helping others cope and understand their feelings…it just..helps somehow…
    but again thank you!! :)

    – bloodyactress

  • Sourav
    Souravabout 5 years ago

    NIce poem!

  • thank you!!! :)

    – bloodyactress

  • killerbunny1984
    killerbunny1984about 5 years ago

    Beautifuly written.. wow

  • thank you so much :D

    – bloodyactress

  • Erika Tirado
    Erika Tiradoalmost 5 years ago

    Powerful message….so sensitively and truthfully written. I admire your strength in this. x

  • much appreciated. thank you! :)

    – bloodyactress

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