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Judas as Death Deferred

How often does it happen that time reaches beyond time
Into the yawning, toothless maw of the infinite
Where there is no now, no then, no tomorrow
Into that place where all timepieces explode in their confusion,
And all being does, also?

How often does life betray life?
Worse yet, making ourselves the culprit of this betrayal
I am an other: Judas
Impossibly kissing my left cheek
Impossible to turn my right to myself, such that it may receive my love

I had a dream last night
I met myself many years along, coming down the road
Mythical was this meeting,
Or so its potential could have been but failed to be

I approached myself, swift sword of time on my side,
Taunting all the way
“So there you are old man.
Prove yourself worthy of such a fine piece of steel,
Fashioned no doubt from the hand of a clock.
I beg not for a swift end.
After all, I see that my old self has become no less than a crippled infinite mirror than he who issues you this challenge.”

Alas, there was no twang of steel unsheathed
Merely the laughter, no laughter, of the myself having eaten the bitter fruit of time, or life,
What, after all, is the difference?
“Slay yourself and why;
To save you of this all-present stench of decay?
You think yourself so much better than I?
I at whom you gaze with such yearning who is no Other than I, but what you will be I can well attest: betrayed by time?
Forsaken by yourself? Revel in our decomposition, we will as time may dictate.
Soon enough, you will know yourself as Judas, only.”
© 08/15/10

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I came rather late to poetry and even later to photography. I have graduate degrees in philosophy. I realized sometime ago that nearly all of my work makes some sort of implicit argument, and it often makes rather esoteric references to philosophy. Sorry: not trying to be turgid. It’s what I know, and it what Pan whispers into my ear.

You may find my newer, more formal photography at: http://rbgphoto-rusty.blogspot.com/
Thanks, Rusty

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Comments

  • CanyonWind
    CanyonWindabout 4 years ago

    Superb write Rusty . Puts it in a new perspective . But time is an invention of man , for man . Time does not exist except in this moment . This moment is already gone and the next on is yet to come , just to flit away like the last . Moments that are gone , no longer exist except in the mind of man . So futil is the man who relies on time to mark his ways . Because time is nothing but a fluid we cannot see nor grasp .
    See you next time around Rusty !
    POP’s

  • Thank you, my friend. Allow me to elaborate a bit in a b-mail. What can I say? Thanks again, for the honor of the feature.

    Cheers, Rusty

    – Rusty Gentry

  • trish725
    trish725about 4 years ago

  • Zolton
    Zoltonabout 4 years ago

    awesome stuff!

  • Merci beaucoup, mon ami! Bon soi, Rusty

    – Rusty Gentry

  • Trenchtownrock
    Trenchtownrockabout 4 years ago

    This is right on brother..you are on to something with this piece my friend..you really took hold of me and let the words skimmed over flesh before burying their roots..thank you.

  • Chris, I read your piece today only minutes after posting this onel I tend to think that you had something more, je ne sais mot, passionate about it.l I’m not sure whether I can do it tonight or not, but I want to talking to you about a collab. I have a theme, for which I can thank my idiotic father and his thintellectual friends, to a large extent. Let’s hook up tomorrow, yeah? You see, until I went to college and found that I didn’t need my lame ass father any more than I did big man setp-Dad.

    The moke had the balls to ask me when I was doing with that “nigger girl,” when I was 15. Walking out the door with her, you Viagra masturbating SOB. I saw him again about 2 weeks prior to my brain tumor surgery; shall I say less than that. It was then that I finally stopped haunting them"

    – Rusty Gentry

  • Rusty Gentry
    Rusty Gentryabout 4 years ago

    (sorry) hating him (5 years later). Or, did I?"

    Sorry, if I’m not making any sense. The worm eaten cat has been on my mind since I read a very cool piece last night. And this has nothing to do with what I wrote. But, if you’re cool with it. let’s try a collab. Whether my father or the racism he forced upon me for so long, something has me going; and there is never my father without racism. I’m out, Trench; this is becoming stream of consciousness in the worst way. But, whether I intended to or not, I threw out the idea. Just ignore me, if my cranial beasts have once again dictated my morphology.

    Thanks, Chris

  • Rocky Loder
    Rocky Loderabout 4 years ago

    that is awesome writing…one of the best i have read….

  • Thanks, Troader. I discovered your writing initially on the World as We Have, or haven’t seen it. I have subsequently read over a number of your works and am sure that we’ll appreciate one another’s work. Sorry that I didn’t comment on everything. I was trying to choose features, find my phone, conjure Rimbaud from the grave, and jam on Citizen SAope.

    I’m looking forward to seeing more of your writing.

    – Rusty Gentry

  • tinhearts
    tinheartsabout 4 years ago

    This is excellent writing Rusty! I happen to believe we are what ever we perceive ourselves to be. We can be what ever we choose. Looking into the mirror and deciding the kiss or the kissed ;)
    xox

  • I wish that I could hold that same view. Don’t get me wrong, I fight for it like hell, as much of my writing shows. I’m afraid that if you lived in constant pain, as I do, as I have for 14 years, you may re-evaluate. This is no occasional something for which I take a couple of Tylenol. WH, I take 270 mg of morphine every single day and still am NEVER even near free of pain. I’m not mentioning the 240 mg of roxicodone I take in addition.
    For too long I shoveled that shit down my throat 20 &30 at a tii HAD TO work harder than I ever have in my life to continue to take something without which I absolutely cannot live—I see a Board Certified Pain Specialist. So, this is not just some pill pusher. I did not sleep night before last, because I was hostage to irremissible pain. Trust me: It will make you think dark thoughts, for that is exactly what pain, properly speaking is, the domination of consciousness. Do you see a little better now? There are times when I simply must put it elseawhere. xo, Rusty

    – Rusty Gentry

  • tinhearts
    tinheartsabout 4 years ago

    I understand Rusty. I am not judging at all. I lived in turmoil and so much pain I tried so hard to kill myself to get rid of the agony. I could never sleep. I would be up for days just writing my life away.I have to send you a few of my crazy poems just to maybe give you some insight as to my agony but also make you smile as they are really over the edge! I honestly have a heartfelt feeling for you and I wish I could just touch you and heal you of this evil making you suffer so. You are such a sweetheart and I know I could hug you and turn your life around to the beauty that revolves around you. I see it even through your darkness!
    I see your flame trying to burn away the pain. I have you in my deepest thoughts and prayers! xox

  • I’ve got goose bumps. Thank you, Warmheart. I love metaphorical hugs. They always make me feel better. I can tell you one thing. I WILL MAKE IT! I don’t know how to give up.
    Thank you, again. You are a sweetheart. I always knew that your name didn’t fit. xo, Rusty

    – Rusty Gentry

  • raymondoantonio
    raymondoantonioabout 4 years ago

    WHAT A POWERFUL MOBIUS STRIP OF EMOTIONS !! JUDAS WAS PART OF THE PLAN..IF YOU CAN BELIEVE THE LIES!! YOU ARE A POWERHOUSE RUSTY!! BRAVO MY FRIEND!

  • My man, it’s so damn good to see you. Unfortunately, my pain is not a lie. Goddamn, I was ready to say fuck it yesterday morning. But never worry. I’m far too mean, as I have said. Some fool stole almost 250 pain pills from me. Have you ever seen a man with his hamstrings cut? I’ll take pictures. Good to see you, Raymond. You always make me smile!

    – Rusty Gentry

  • tinhearts
    tinheartsabout 4 years ago

    raymondoantonio is right! Judas was in the plan. Where would we be without him. I love your writing as it is so drenched in fractional emotion from deep in your soul. I only posted a few crazy poems but I have the ugly ones I just haven’t found in my files yet. Keep hanging on it’s worth the fight!
    much love to you!
    xox

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