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Mad Dog

I stabbed myself in the heart with a toothbrush
I just made it stink less
I tried it with a paintbrush
Now I just have more red on my shirt
So, I used a toilet brush
Now, it smells like shit as it should

I used a power saw to peak inside my skull
All that came out was madness
It’s all over my fucking bed
So I pored peroxide into it
Now I’m foaming at the mouth
How appropriate is that for a mad dog?

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Tags

anger, furious anger, life, madness

I came rather late to poetry and even later to photography. I have graduate degrees in philosophy. I realized sometime ago that nearly all of my work makes some sort of implicit argument, and it often makes rather esoteric references to philosophy. Sorry: not trying to be turgid. It’s what I know, and it what Pan whispers into my ear.

You may find my newer, more formal photography at: http://rbgphoto-rusty.blogspot.com/
Thanks, Rusty

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Comments

  • Lisa Murphy
    Lisa Murphyover 3 years ago

    very appropriate for a mad dog but I doubt you are a mad dog. This is a fiercesome piece of writing, so violent against oneself, so intense and full of such vivid imageries of brutality, you really should be kinder to yourself Rusty….at least cut back on the power saw…..A very good, powerful piece of writing, I enjoy the intensity of it. Hope you’re still in one piece. xxx

  • Thank you, Lisa (like your new avatar). I’m more of a mad dog that you know. But, I don’t mind. Better a mad dog that something normal. I’m in one piece and will remain so. Thank you, again. You are a dear! xo, Rusty

    – Rusty Gentry

  • janeymac
    janeymacover 3 years ago

    brilliant piece Rusty !!!
    Jane xo

  • Thank you, Queen Jane. Damn, I got a brilliant! Love, Rusty

    – Rusty Gentry

  • lisameryl
    lisamerylover 3 years ago

    OK Rusty, simply BRILLIANT and DISTURBING—-a beautiful thing! Another one I purposely saved for last among my reads! Such intensity and graphic expression! Love it though…let out those dark thoughts! Beeter to release it than keep bottled up in that beautiful mind of yours!
    Peace be with you always…Lisa XO

  • lisameryl
    lisamerylover 3 years ago

    (oops…typo:better)

  • Betty Smith_Voce
    Betty Smith_Voceover 3 years ago

    Totally out of it Rusty – get help my dear friend! LOL

  • I write, my dear friend. Would you expound upon “Totally out of it?”

    xo, Rusty

    – Rusty Gentry

  • Betty Smith_Voce
    Betty Smith_Voceover 3 years ago

    Dearest Rusty…LOL… weird thoughts for a normal person… its only my mad mind that is allowed such fancy trips! Good write my friend.

  • Sorry, Betty: I didn’t get back with you. It’s no secret that I am rather seriously bi-polar, in addition to suffering from very serious chronic pain issues. I am hardly a normal person. Actually, even if I did not face such issues, I would not be normal. To do what we do one must experience and invest a certain amount of intensity. Alas, I cannot turn my intensity on when writing and off when the pain is crippling or the depression wants to overwhelm me. I have one way to feel about most all things: intense. No middle of the road for me. If I care about something, I must pay a certain tribute for my passion. I didn’t write this sort of thing for the longest tome, for fear that people would worry, or that I’m looking for sympathy. I am now ashamed that I ever had such views. Frankly, neither you nor anyone else, assuming that I am hurting no one, should be involved in any calculation whatsoever as to what I write & post & what I do not. I write because I must. If it makes someone else uncomfortable, they are free to avoid my work. I need the expression more than I need any sort of approval. Understand what I’m saying?

    Sorry I took so long to reply.

    xo, Rusty

    – Rusty Gentry

  • Betty Smith_Voce
    Betty Smith_Voceover 3 years ago

    Rusty I am sorry if I upset you with my comment. That was not the intention. I enjoyed the read and found it entertaining. I laugh at my own misgivings and illness that I can assure you has taken me beyond the fences of bi polar depression. So rest assured, you can be what you are and enjoy being so as I am probably more intense that you! Much love.

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