But to Die in the Joy of Knowing That I Pursued My Dream to the End, or Just the Beautiful Beginning

How poor a creature he must be who in his last moment cries out,
“But if only, I had followed my heart, eschewing the cold logic of my head and the creeping ice of the compartmental crypt so soon to be?”

I refuse that being.
I refuse his cowardice and the stale scent of the pillow at his side.

Rather, I celebrate my dream: realized!
I steadfastly refuse all issue of doubt:
“Do you have any idea what you are in for?”

Fools to have even asked: for my answer can only be a celebration of the equivocal. Nonetheless an unprecedented celebration it damn will be.
“Yes, I am ‘in for’ a love sublime: a love, which most will approach only in the perfection of nature’s allowance of the summer peach’s nectar.”
“No, for I am also in for an adventure the likes of which would make a proud woman of Scheherazade herself.”

Will I make it through the thousand and one nights?
“Seek thy oracle not in this stone abode.”
Will I live every night I have to the fullest?
“You’re goddamn right!”

While the life of the mind may well appear—as it so often did to me—the apogee of human achievement; it is only through the chambers of the heart that transcendence sings its siren’s song.

Long live the heart!
Mysteries, joys, pains, and all; glorify the hymn of love and of lovers!

© 08/25/09

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But to Die in the Joy of Knowing That I Pursued My Dream to the End, or Just the Beautiful Beginning by 


If in this endeavor I have failed, blame not the muse, for she is the apotheosis of beauty and the abandonment of love! You know it!

Comp. 5:53 am

I came rather late to poetry and even later to photography. I have graduate degrees in philosophy. I realized sometime ago that nearly all of my work makes some sort of implicit argument, and it often makes rather esoteric references to philosophy. Sorry: not trying to be turgid. It’s what I know, and it what Pan whispers into my ear.

You may find my newer, more formal photography at: http://rbgphoto-rusty.blogspot.com/
Thanks, Rusty

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Comments

  • Lisa  Jewell
    Lisa Jewellover 5 years ago

    A sophisticated anthem…I am so pleased to read this piece, for I’ve been rather forlorn and deeply into my dark cave place. Apathetic with the ‘in love’ notion but never with the love one….

    You appear to love in an intelligent way, which makes you delightful intriguing.

    But PS watch out for the siren song ;)

  • Yes, I recently visited your dark cave place, which I am fighting like hell to keep out of my poetry, at the moment, for reasons I cannot explain. After all, “sophisticated anthems” and “dark cave places” are not mutually exclusive. I was tremendously moved by your last piece, which may allow me to open the cave a bit.

    Thank you, Lisa, for your kind words-how mundane that sounds? I like “delightful and intriguing.” Moreover, have no fear, if the siren song, which wily old Odysseus could find a way to avoid, is fated to crush my bones against the rocks, I’ll crash into them with a grin and probably do as much damage to them as they do to me. Nonetheless, thanks for the warning. Perhaps, if you know the ledges upon which the siren’s sing—as we all have at sometime or another—you may warn them what the laws of physics dictate about the collision of two immovable objects. For one thing my garrulous self will guarantee is that I will be gunning to bring them to the depths as vociferously as they willing me into their infamous trap, as is only fair. What’s more, Zeus did not beat Cronus by being afraid to mix it up a little. I really have no idea what has gotten into me tonight. The brain reels, the digits scamper, and the rest are left to hope that the poppy field ahead my quiet my bravado and mixing of metaphors, or at least genres. Thanks again, my little pretty! heeheee

    – Rusty Gentry

  • RaOrEmraeh
    RaOrEmraehover 5 years ago

    Very moving and emotive. Speaks from places of both the heart and logic.

  • This is an interesting comment Cassidy. Where do you see the logic, other in the “argumentation”? I rather thought that logic was the stooge here. Throw caution to the wind. Though I do see a certain stubborn logic at work in my novella to Lisa above. I would love to have you elaborate you point of view. Feel free to B-mail me, if you would like. Thanks, Rusty

    – Rusty Gentry

  • linaji
    linajiover 5 years ago

    I just don’t feel that anyone is a coward.. even the elusive and pungent ‘other’ self..
    However.. your powerful Asking.. willl overcome every doubt.. your a very passionate man.. and so eNmeshed in your Souls journey.. HOW FARGEN FUN!

  • Fargen fun is right! Allow me to ask you, however, is the man who enacts a mock execution upon one who is entirely at his mercy not a coward? A rapist? I can see your objection, I believe; that you are talking of issues of love. Nonetheless, I would argue that those who cannot find compassion and and peace without weilding power over others is one who must practice self-deception on such a radical level as to be cowardly at best. Those who choose to “torture” – in the writ large sense- the weak will never know the joy of having one’s cosmic power expand through self-abnegation, and taking the chance that they have the tables turned on them, becoming the weak themselves.
    You guys do know that I am an argumentative fuck, don’t you? I just like to play with ideas, which is not to say that I am not serious in my suggestions above. Perhaps you could send me a B-mail and tell me where I have misunderstood you. Thank you, as always Lina.

    – Rusty Gentry

  • Hathor
    Hathorover 5 years ago

    Baby, I will take it all, and then some. FUCK those stagnant beasts of burden (so sayeth Jagger and Midler) and just bloody JUMP. For what then, is life if one does not live? It could only be emptiness of rotting shell, blowing upon the face of the ticking, tocking clock.
    I choose life and love within it’s fervent grip any day of the f’ing week.
    I know it. You know it. We live it, and rock it out!

    cheers, my dear.
    love, K xoxoxo

  • No beasts of burden, here my love. Have I mentioned that you Jump so well. Praise LIFE! Praise LOVE! Praise YOU, my dear one. I’ll take those XXXs and OOOs now, if you will.

    – Rusty Gentry

  • lianne
    lianneover 5 years ago

    Is there any other way to die – with any kind of dignity or peace of mind at least – than knowing one had followed a dream? I’ll say with Lisa that this is a resounding anthem – one most worthy of its composer.

  • Lianne, I must thank you, but cannot be so humble as to disagree that THIS is how we justify life. We dream and we pursue, in spite of our spills. Get up and take it on again. Thanks, my friend, Love, Rusty

    – Rusty Gentry

  • autumnwind
    autumnwindover 5 years ago

    Oh, I do have chills. Believe your words have left me quite speechless. What else is there to say when you have said it all, and so beautifully. love, shar xoxoxo

  • Oh Char, you are the soul of flattery. I love it and you too! Rusty

    – Rusty Gentry

  • billfox256
    billfox256over 5 years ago

    “Live for something rather that die for nothing”
    General George S. Patton, Jr.

    Life is what we bring into it with out worrying about what we will take out of it. Bill

  • I suppose that a lot of people have Truman to thank for much of the latter, Bill, and I love yours as well. Yet, I think I have to go one up on you. No, silly move, you nailed it. Thanks, Bill. Cheers Rusty

    – Rusty Gentry

  • Mudsoldat
    Mudsoldatover 5 years ago

    hey dude…good stuff…she’s great and your a God! MS

  • Mud, Where you been my man? I have no clue how old this comment is, but I’m missing you. Give me a shout, and Rusty is fine, God just makes me feel all formal and responsible. I hope you’re well my friend.

    – Rusty Gentry

  • Nascha
    Naschaover 5 years ago

    Woo hoo loved this…..very gutsy….ballsy and magnificent….enjoy!! xx

  • Merci Beacoup, Natacha, I am honored by your words. I’m sorry that I missed your comment earlier. Cheers, Rusty

    – Rusty Gentry

  • wingsoffire
    wingsoffireover 5 years ago

    Magnificent! Live life to its fullest and capture the moments that give you pleasure.

  • Amen, friend of the Phoenix. We’ll send the rest of them to Pink Floyd for the second installment of the Wall. Cheers, Rusty

    – Rusty Gentry

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