The Holyshit I'm Hiiiiigh Bird: Birds Just Fly, VIX by Rusty Gentry
Sorry, needed some self love and just found this in my mailbox. A friend of mine took it just after the anesthesiologist gave me some serious shit. I remember being rolled down a hallway and the door to the operating room opening, then OUUUUT. Actually, I heard some things before he I felt someone put something over my nose. Then OUUUUUT! So, this is happy, they’re about to cut my leg in half bird.
It has been reported that there is an even better post-op double bird. I haven’t seen it and will not until a friend returns to town. I can only imagine that one. This particular bird would probably make you laugh your ass off, if he could remain conscious. I’m notorious for coming out of out patient procedures and just rolling on. Alas, I’ve had more than my share of out and in. I can report that my mom later told me that she knew I was okay after brain surgery when the nurse from recovery called and said, “Your son said to tell you exactly this,”I’m fucking cool." She said as long as I was cussing I was, indeed, “cool.” It would be great to have a photo of that. I looked like a Garbage Patch Doll. With that, I’m OUUUT!
One note: I’m attempting to put these up in the order that I received them. Trust me, your bird will fly, we would not dare to allow a bird to remain unliberated.
One more note: Now, two people have asked me what the point to this is? One: if you don’t get it, I can’t explain it. Take a piss in Duchamp’s urinal.
Two: Don’t keep the gluts squeezed all the time. Relax, have some fun. Fly a bird and call it high art!
Comments
haaaa ha ha… Happy go Fucky… that is what I see!
Yes, MD go fucky with a saw, take my knee, throw it away, leg now officially separated upper from lower, take the saw again, save the dead bone from femur, tibia, and fibula, put bionic knee in, sew, staple send to recovery. Wake up, and find alien attached to body. I have a photo somewhere of my r leg and my l together. You would never believe that they were the same person’s.
Nevertheless, you interpretation is spot on, also. I love interpretation. xo
– Rusty Gentry
most amusing.
wow! The MOST amusing, not even the qualifier, “one of the.” Mon ami, I am honored and delighted that you think so. I love it when you are clear.
ps: I understand that the post op ones are far better.
– Rusty Gentry
Hey Mr. B, now that’s a classic indeed…flying high alright…flippin’ your fuckin’ happy bird! Oh, how liberating indeed! This just kills me…LOL…dig the narrative! I see PAN made the shot too, very cool! =) XO
In point of fact, this was my last fuck you to MY knee. I was high as a kite. I haven’t felt like that in years. I had been given 4 shots of ativan prior to the Ana coming in to take over. I’m just immune to the stuff. But, she had some good juice. Now, the knee is in the trash, and I don’t even miss it. Good riddance. Glad you liked, dear. xo
– Rusty Gentry
Oh poor old high bird! Love it….not laughing really! :O) Caz
You can laugh your ass off at this one, Caz. Perhaps not the post op double bird. I haven’t even seen that one. But it is said to be classic. Besides, like I told Lisa, that was my last fuck you to a knee, which had led directly to breaking my collar bone twice playing with E, my hand once, and cracking 4 ribs. It’s difficult to remain upright when you have 0 cartilage to smooth the interactions of your femur, tibia, and fibula. I told Vamp earlier, that I walked a mile today for the first time in over two years. It wasn’t comfortable, but damn it, I did it. Besides, now, I have a titanium knee in case I’m cast in Westside Story. xo
– Rusty Gentry
The buzzed bird in flight…and smiling : )
peace
That bird was soaring over K2. I had no chance to ask her what she gave me, but it put me on the highway to bone-saw heaven. I was just barely conscious when that mask, the color of which I suddenly recall. It was a transparent brown, which I recall thinking strange. That was certainly my last thought. My last sight, the man about to cut my leg in half. OUUUUCH! Nonetheless, as my inflexion and reflexion continue to move towards normal and the pain abates, I can be sure for the first time in years that I’m not going to end up on the ground at any minute. As the pain fades, thank Zeus we were not wired with the capacity to recall pain, I am beginning to feel free, like a bird. hahaha (PUN/FUN) xo
– Rusty Gentry
Cool!! . . .
If you only knew, my friend. I was the coolest cat on the block, in the state. As good as I felt then, it wouldn’t surprise me, if I didn’t try to hit on the anesthesiologist. I don’t remember her, just her syringe. Cheers, Rusty
– Rusty Gentry
i think the blurry image adds to the whole feel, the hazy drug induced coma.
Absolutely, I thought the same thing. This was taken with a phone. In the six hours I was in surgery, no idea why it took so damn long, Phyllis went back to Anderson and got her DRSL. Post ops taken with that. Can’t wait till she gets back and I can see them.
– Rusty Gentry
cool.
Rico Suave, chica, RS sui generis
– Rusty Gentry
Let your bird fly high Rusty!!!
R, you don’t think I’d be a damn robin did you? Eagle my man: I float on the breeze coming in for a bite when necessary and talons to the eyes at other times. You are the same bird. Talons as a metaphor for arguing a point of principle and I bet we match exactly, except your skull is symmetrical. Good thing I have enough hair for any 4 men on my head. Thick as hell. I shaved my head entirely once. In the days of phrenology, I would have been convicted of mass murder for indentions in the area of the temporal lobes. Now, they just say it’s bi-polar. hahaha
– Rusty Gentry
ok I’v seen some loony tunes when I worked in the Recovery Room several years ago, but never saw liberated birdies.
haha Love it :)
xo
In case you haven’t noticed, I’m not your average bear. I’m somewhat notorious for things I do upon coming out of surgery. Once my pain is controlled, I’m rolling. In fact, I apparently insisted on talking about the role of the “scapegoat” in various cultures, something I’ve been studying recently.
The friend who took the photo was Googling some of the references I was making, as they were culturally specific, as well as related to various specific pieces of literature. She told me today at lunch that it blew her fucking mind that I had not given a single reference that was not right on. Go figure.
I’m a freak and proud of it. xo
ps: Didn’t you say that a bird was flying. I haven’t checked since midday yesterday, but have not received it up to that point. Come on my friend, liberate that bird.
– Rusty Gentry