With every blow
You change to something more
Something else
Something right and something wrong

With every blow
You crack a little harder
You break a little faster
And the pain becomes bitter… and SOO much better

First strikes a paralysing pain
tearing your insides
like sharp razor blades
your soul now drowning in WET…COLD….PIERCING agony
in those cold flames dies every bit of happy memories
with that ends so much and so many

Then…
SLOWLY
BEAUTIFULLY
TACTFULLY
it creeps in……..like would death make its entrance into the living
the liberating numbness
That freezes your brain
No thought no sensation
just complete blissful emptiness……

the second passes just too fast
and HELLO!
YES we meet again
my old friend
PAIN…..

Truth staring back at me no more lies
It is those eyes…. that I despise
To those eyes I cannot hide
Those eyes strip me naked ..i have no pride
A friend and foe
pain and pleasure
An addiction…? Maybe more
I know you well….to your very core
You are mine…..no
No
You are me…
And I see
That you will always be…..
ME……..