A sinister Jinx
a battle with myself…within my self…i dont know whether i am a total pysco or just a deeply confused and complicated gurl who will someday find light…or am i doomed for life…i have always been like this ever since i can remember I dont know why…. i think i may be a soon to be pysco hahaha.Is there any one out there who knows what the hell is wrong with me…why was i born that way?
A sinister Jinx belongs to the following groups:
! Creative Writing & Poetry !, Core [C.O.R.E], Freedom In Words & Art, Light In The Darkness and Nirvana (Only 1 photographic art and 1 written work will be accepted per day )IT is inside of me..
It lives, breathes and grows inside of me..
I can’t find the right word to name it…
But i know it exits, i just know it
Inside my head i can hear it speak
Asking me questions, making me ill, making me weak
In my heart i can feel the growing fear
Drowning me slowly, in my own tears
Sometimes..it’s a dark, black hole sucking me in..
Sometimes..it’s a flaming fire burning me alive
And at times its just dark, empty and vast…
And I get lost..
Inside…inside of me, I get lost
There are times when it becomes a maze…
Confusing me … leading me to all the wrong directions
Not wanting to let me go…I am a prisoner of my own mind
Almost every day i battle with myself
I am my own enemy..
I am destroying me…
For far too long….i have fought with myself, within my self
Fear, anger, sadness, anxiety, confusion are my best friends
In a day….they take turns to keep me company, one after another paying me visits..
Never will they ever leave me alone….such loyal friends i have..
I have tried countless times to make them leave…but they just never do..
They come to rip me open, tear me apart and see me bleed….
Empowering my mind with darkness
My entire life i have been this way constantly aching like i have lost something
Why do I cry?
I don’t know….
Why am I scared?
I don’t know…..
Why am i angry?
i don’t know…..
Am i crazy?
I will never know….
One day i hope i grow out of this
Till then i will have to live like this…
I think it’s a jinx
A SINISTER JINX…..
RosaCobos
There re certain souls..
that have an special sensibility…
they go around sucking the other’s craziness…
As if they would have to receive a sort of lot from the whole.
Craziness is there..
inside..
and is creeping..
though..
not any real mad man..
never is asking about himself..
Am I going crazy?
That’s a good question..
that obviously has an answer…
As soon as you can question this..
you are not!
But it is true..
there is a hole….
a sucking of our wits into… we do not where…
and a constant shade of fear and melancholy..
for something that either we have not found,
or we have completely lost.
Rosa (good really good approach to this sucking void of soul)
EDGYONE
damn girl,that is the best thing i have read on the bubble hands down!it is a crime this is not getting comments,this is beautifully written and the title is way cool.you have taken a very commplicted subject and you f#@king nailed it oh so sweeetly.i would love to get a site going called”thoughts from the edge” and have it be a place parents,doctors,therapists of all types can go and read writtings of those who have been there and wrote vividly about what they were thinking and feeling.i’m convinced that do great amounts of good once it was up and running and orgaized so that it could give priceless insight to a parent that is watching their child die right before their eyes but don’t know what to do to stop it. this is a perfect example of the type of writting that i strongly believe if put in orgaized combiations based on case by case situations.,will give those fighting to help a child or patient a tool that lets them see whats going on,on the other side,the edge of life.anyway!!!i’ll stay more in touch,i got lost,you now how it is .That was my favorite part of this”and i get lost,..inside,inside of me,inside of me i get lost! nailed it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!,randy
hilarydougill
sweetheart, I feel for you. , but you are not alone in your battle, God is watching over you all the time, and you will win it. I will send you a bubblemail. Beautifully writtten, by the way, so very visdual which all good writing is. love and hugs and blessingsxxx
blackvixen replied
hey hilary
thank you so much for caring….it means a great deal to me….I have met such wonderfull ppl in this site and feel so much love here
thank you
love
RENEE
RosaCobos
For letting appear a sor of warm light into your emptyness.
Rosa
Well deserved
blackvixen
tank you soooo much rosa …...cnt blv my work is featured for the second time within a month….this means alot to me …
helene ruiz
very powerful words….excellent
blackvixen replied
thank you soooo very much helene….it is a powerfull feeling which can only be defined by powerfull words…...do feel free to leave your comments for all the others too…. :))))))
Epazia Espino
my only advise would be be to turn around, the world is an amazing place, if you can put aside fear for one second then tomorrow you can do it for 2. This comes from a diagnosed agoraphobic.
blackvixen
thank you sooo much for ure advise Anthea…...i guess youre right i should take one thing at a time…tanxx for ure care
love
renee
RuthFroehlinger
I know exactly what you’re saying. It’s like I’m reading my own text – except yours in brilliant!
RuthFroehlinger
Oh btw, you sure can write, you’re very talented and great to know, you’re sharing with the world.
blackvixen replied
i guess i am not alone uh…..this is actually comforting..
i am trully trully happy that you think am talented….you have no ide how much your words mean to me…...it keeps me going…...tanxxx ;)))))))
renee
jesse1045 12 days ago
babe…. u r totally talented…. beyond wordz can say gurl… keep on rockin the page le… :)
blackvixen replied 11 days ago
hehe tank you babe…you should start puttin up your thoughts as well…it really helps you move on and get rid of the pain safely sealed behind your locked lips.love ya
jesse1045 11 days ago
hmm… locked lips… yup… i had some collection … but dono where is it… will start writing more… lil by lil… u guys r my inspiration,,,luv yah too
blackvixen replied 11 days ago
haha sweeet,will be watching out forya
blueeyesbec 11 days ago
Wow everything i read that you have written is special
blackvixen replied 9 days ago
aaaaawww thank you soo much….but wat is even more special is havin special people like you reading my work….that makes it all even more special