I'm losing You.
I wish I was the place in between a pair of scissors.
Smooth and cold and almost final
To snip cut and let fall all the dead cells in an hour
let fall the pieces of dead flowers
and never even care for their kingdom, name, or phylum
It’s easy, cut it off and leave it behind
if only words were as easy to give as haircuts were
shave every bad moment off and call it a day
walk down the street
in the second week of January
without a hat
and nothing to shield you from the world but a skull made for impact
and some skin that only stretches as far as your fat
snip it off and blunt it out to see those eyes
Making a new person
whilst still trying to change the old
You try
but New growth always slips out
The nutritious dandelion in the middle of a crack
the old that you call new
always coming back
Everything falls at least once
Even hair
That Keeps your warm but not warm enough
That shields you but isn’t made tough
Biomaterial, thin as silk smooth as a lie
So let me be a pair of scissors
Let me be quick, sharp, frore
and let me make all those heavy strands die.
Comments
Aside from your never disappointing imagery and use of creative devices, what strikes me most is your use of first and second person narrative. And as long as you’re not planning on giving me the ol’ snipperoony … it’s all good. Btw, I miss you <3, xox
Why would I be snippy with you I love your comments and critiques Jenny <3 and I miss you too we must have a reading together soon!
– bjeliMis
love the metaphor
Thank you.
– bjeliMis
from the opening line you have the reader hooked and it rolls in meaning and metaphor until a decisive end wonderful poem
Glad you think so
– bjeliMis
Wow. I’m so impressed. This is wonderful. The imagery. The calculated hurt. I love it!
Plus I learnt a new word – frore :))
Yes I recently learned it too and felt the need to use it. I usually don’t use old english very much. Thank you
– bjeliMis
wonderful. there is a preciseness to this so fitting with the scissors imagery. The pain of losing the love of someone we adore is . . . gut wrenching. I do love how you snip around it. so good.
Not exactly the theme I was going for but if romance is what you get then I’m just glad I made you feel something at all :) THanks for the comment.
– bjeliMis
Thank you!
– bjeliMis
Quite an exceptional poem, a delightful read :)
Thank you so much for posting it :-))
Glad you think so :)
– bjeliMis
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Huge congratulations from all of us in the editorial team.
xx
Anna
Oh my goodness, this is breathtaking work. I adore this.
Thanks very much!
– bjeliMis