billyboy

billyboy

Rhode St. Genese, Belgium

Billybones!

OK. So some of you know I’ve been on vacation with wife Bev visiting my mom in Florida and our daughter Melanie and hubby Art in Montreal. It all went very well. My mom’s doing amazing at 91, and Mel is due around beginning March so we’re gonna be planning to get back there for the event… will let you know how the granddad thing pans out in the fullness of time… but in the meantime she’s doing amazing too.

But something else noteworthy happened while grocery shopping at Costco in Montreal with Bev, Mel and Art. They were selling skeletons.

The fact is, I’d been raised on Famous Monsters of Filmland magazine and all those fabulous bone chilling melodramas of the 50’s, not to mention the yearly climax of halloween that sits so deep in the heart of American culture at its tackiest. So the fact that I never owned a skeleton is something that’s been slowly eating away at my soul since I can remember…
Now imagine me in a place as mundane as a pumped up grocery store and suddenly spotting a stack of life-sized (yup, they’re FIVE FEET TALL !!), fully detailed and practically anatomically correct AND fully articulated totally realistic plastic skeletons for only FOURTY BUCKS… I literally had to pinch myself to make sure I hadn’t died and gone to boneyard heaven !!

It didn’t take much convincing. Everyone knew by the look in my eyes I’d find some way of getting that puppy in my suitcase (it actually un-bolts completely!) and manage to get it through customs… even though I read a few days later they’d found skeletal remains at LaGuardia airport (!!)…
So it didn’t take long for Billybones to make himself at home at Mel & Art’s for the remainder of the vacation.
Here he is chillin’ in front of the TV watching his fave show “The Walking Dead”…

Of course there were a few problems. Mel now had to cook for 5 instead of 4 so we ended up eating out a lot…
So one night we got home to find him waiting at the dinner table. It’s like I’m sure we told him we were going out and we’d left him some of last night’s grilled chikkin in the fridge… but all he could say was “where’s my FARKEN FISH?!!” over and OVER again…

I actually couldn ‘t wait for an excuse to pack him up for the trip home as he was getting on everyone’s nerves AND drinkin’ all the Coronas (thank God Art bought that extra crate!!)… he was a stitch to un-bolt with only a philips screwdriver and a pair of pliers. And it wasn’t even that hard to pack my underwear and T-shirts round the fragile parts like the ribcage and pelvis… HA!! Payback!!!

In the end the trip home went smooth as glass. Nobody checked the suitcase either end and we weren’t even overweight with the luggage. Much down to the fact he never actually did get his farken fish :-)
Here’s what he looked like wiped out with jet-lag…

I set to work re-assembling him on the Saturday after we got back. Didn’t realize till later that some Chinese assembly line worker managed to get his feet the wrong way round so the tibias ended up on the wrong femurs (all I knew was the big toe belongs on the in-step)…
But as you can see he didn’t seem to even notice once he’d discovered the beer and ciggies stashed in BB’s sanctuary. And though I wouldn’t let him lite up for obvious reasons, he seemd to get off on just letting one hang out in his jaw… leave it to a skeleton to get bad to the bone right from the get go!!

So there you have it. There’s a new guy in the house. And so far he’s been pretty good without picking bones with anyone… having said that he hasn’t met the cat yet…
BUT, he’s picked up surfing on my iMac pretty quick and though he’s not yet signed up to RB, he’s already got a Facebok account !!

If you’re interested you can find him here
Send him a friend request if you think you can handle him… He’s not a bad philosopher and would be totally willing to help you with any problems you’ve got with life. After all, he’s been there and done that.
As he’s dead and stuff…

Think I’m gonna have some fun with this dude :-))

UPDATE OCTOBER 6th…

Caught him downstairs in the hall yesterday practicing his requiems for Halloween. Didn`t know the guy had so much talent… `cept that he clacks is teeth when he sings. Hope that doesn`t put off the trick or treaters…

UPDATE OCTOBER 9th…

Guess all that organ playing must have loosened his bowels…
Hey wait a minute… he hasn`t GOT any bowels !!
Think he just likes sitting on the seat with a girlie zombie mag. Makes him believe he can still get a buzz at 180…
Quick, somebody throw him a mag !!

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