I have two major passions. One is buying guitars and amps with money other than my own, and the other is driving. So I was pretty happy when the opportunity arose to drive down to Frankfurt for the International Music Fair to pick up some deals for the recording studio where I work. It’s the biggest music gear trade fair in Europe, and second only in the world to the NAMM fair in the US, so WOW, it just doesn’t get much better for BB!
And what’s also cool is that Germany is about the only place left in the world where you can enjoy high speed driving without getting your license yanked… high speed being anything above 100 mph. There’s a stretch of autobahn that goes from Köln to Frankfurt that is an amazing 3-lane roller coaster through the hills that has very few speed limits and, especially at night when I like to travel, very little traffic.
I’ve got the right car for that drive too… it’s a E-class Merc which is about one of the safest cars you can get. It’s got high tech ABS (the G-force from slamming on the brakes is enough to make you glad you were wearing your seat belt!), anti-slip differential so you can control it in a skid, and it’s just so heavy that even a high cross wind is hardly noticed. AND it’s got an awesome sound system. I generally crank it up till my ears hurt, then bring it down one notch. So, steaming down the autobahn roller coaster with AC/DC hammering it out, and watching the night unfold through that cool Mercedes star at the end of the hood (bonnet?) is just an amazing feel-good factor that floats my boat like I can’t even really describe in words…
But in spite of all that feel-good, it’s NOT me who is the Luckiest Bastard of the Week…
So I’m about 50 miles outside of Frankfurt, in probably the most intense part of the roller coaster, and just coming out of a wide curve running slightly downhill. It wasn’t raining hard, but there was a slight drizzle so that if you wanted to run the ride, you had to have your whits a bit about you, especially as it was pitch black outside. There was about 10 other cars in my general vicinity and we were all doing about 100 mph… OK, it’s fast, but the Merc is the kind of car you feel like you’re doing 70 smooth as glass, then look down to find you’re really at 110. You feel safe and in control. And this was actually one of the few times I didn’t have the music on as one disc finished and I didn’t want to fuss with putting another on (I think a CD changer will be on my Xmas list this year!)...
It was all of a sudden I heard screeching tires from behind. I glanced in my rear-view expecting to see nothing but headlights… but one car was different. It was broadside, and about 25 yards behind me and following me down the highway at a scary pace!! It was one of those microsecond moments when you know something isn’t right but things are happening a bit to quick to take it in. And it wasn’t easy to track him in my mirror and watch the road at the same time, but we’d all slowed down a bit so I had a chance to look again. from what I could make out, he’d lost control, spun a full 360°, then another 180°, finishing up on the hard shoulder facing the opposite direction from the traffic… and the most amazing thing of all… he managed to NOT HIT ANYTHING! He even had the composure to put his flashers on!!
I drove on knowing that nothing horrible had resulted and made it to my hotel without further fuss. But I couldn’t shake the incident from my head. THAT GUY was without doubt the Luckiest Bastard of the Week! Whew!!
By morning I’d had other things on my mind and I spent Wednesday and Thursday walking more distance than I drove. My feet are sore, but I had an amazing visit and hope to post some pix on Saturday. You’ll see right away that your BillyBoy had a sweet time in heaven!
Jeeze, I’ve written a book again… you guys still awake? If you stuck this out to the end, thanks for bearing with me, but I just had to get that off my chest.
Cheers, BB
Kimberly Palmer, 6 months ago
Whoa BB!!! Glad nobody was hurt…......... enjoyed reading this, and didn’t fall asleep.
I’ll be away, but I’ll return next week, and I look forward to seeing your pics.
Cheers,
Kimmie aka Debbie, aka Kim (not!). he he
Globalphotos, 6 months ago
What an experience !!! Good grief …..... lucky you’re ok !!
I wish I could drive my Merc at decent speeds, I have a C class, don’t think I have been over 130kms….
Sounds like you had a great visit :))
Mel Brackstone, 6 months ago
Bloody hell Bill…..I think you might have been the second luckiest bastard of the week, so it’s all good!
billyboy, 6 months ago
OK, let’s set the record straight… I’ve got friends like you guys on RB, so I’m the luckiest Bastard of the millenium!
Cathie Tranent
,
6 months ago
Cannot beat that fine Yerman enchineering!!
Can’t wait to see the pics …. and glad that everyone managed to avoid that nasty situation?
What did you buy?? What did you buy?? Fenders I hope????
Paul Louis Vil..., 6 months ago
Yeah!!! Any Fenders and pedals? Let us know what you purchased mate so that I can drooooool all over my laptop!! :D hehehe!!
Jeff Burns, 6 months ago
Wow holy carp!
Irish, 6 months ago
Wow, what an expeience to see THAT? Glad it had a happy ending…........OH AND I WANT YOUR LIFE! Need an assistant in the studio? I’ll Move/////LMAO!
billyboy in reply to Cathie Tranent’s comment, 6 months ago
Cathie, we already have a shitload of Fenders… though I have to say their stand was amazing. They had a whole wall of their relic series where they build new guitars and make them look like they’re 50 years old and sell ‘em for $7000! Believe me, there’s better things to spend hard-earned cash on than that!!
I didn’t actually buy anything on the spot, but made some nice deals with a couple of builders that will get us some good prices when we do… there’s lots of awesome stuff out there!
billyboy in reply to Paul Louis Villani’s comment, 6 months ago
Pedals? Spent lots of time at the Dunlop stand… they’re reissuing the Way Huge stuff… and Kerry King was there signing autographs. Awesome dude. Watch this space when I upload the pix!!!
Amanda Hammock, 6 months ago
Now we have to ask, where was your camera to document all of that?
;)
That the good heavens that you are alright, the other guy is alright and everyone else. Give your feet a good soak.
billyboy in reply to Amanda Hammock’s comment, 6 months ago
Hey Twistie, feet are soaking as I type… my wife let me use her Ixus instead of having to lug my 5D around on top of those 2 bags full of heavy catalogues, so the pix aren’t very hi rez, but I’ll post the best so you’ll get the idea. Check back this weekend!
clarkey, 6 months ago
Talk about scare the crap outa me, Bill – thankfully, everyone is safe, and you’re able to appreciate your good fortune and tell the tale.. Glad you had a fabulous time at the fair – can’t wait to see your pics and hear more about it all – tall tales and true, suitably embellished.
Robxavier, 6 months ago
That car was me right behind you Billy it was a Porsche Carrera I was trying to take a pic of the scenery lifted my camera up not thinking then , screechhhhhhhhhhhhh the shoulder straps on the camera pull up the emergency brake…......damn these …..good thing I just put on my Pirrelli P zeros not a milimeter of tires worn….lmao
Philip Rogan, 6 months ago
First of all it’s a well written, even better, well told story. Good set up, great twist on the title and excitement all built in. You are a lucky bastard of course, you work in the area you love so thats just grand. By the way can you send m ethe link to the fairs website as we are in the event management business and would love to see how they present it etc.
billyboy in reply to Philip Rogan’s comment, 6 months ago
Hey Philip, thanks for appreciating and for letting me know!
Here`s the link , but I have to say I think they could have made the site a lot cooler… maybe you guys should give them a few tips!
And yes, I guess I am a lucky bastard after all!
billyboy in reply to clarkey’s comment, 6 months ago
Hey Jannie!! Glad to be home safe to share some pix… don`t have many, but the few I do have will put you well in the picture.
Thanks for lookin` in… might even mail you a tall story… (?)
billyboy in reply to Robxavier’s comment, 6 months ago
Rob, I gotta agree that those Pirelli`s are awesome, and kudos for controlling that spin… but you should do like me and get a quick release strap. Learned my lesson when I did the same thing and the strap got caught in the hood release. Fortunately the Merc has a double latching system, but it made me think…
Cheers for owning up!
clarkey, 6 months ago
Looking forward to it and them. You are fortunate to meet your fellow road-user! :-))
Rhana Griffin, 6 months ago
(places her hands over her eyes and peeks through her fingers to read)
.................................................................eep!
I’ll be back… when I can think straight without horrible visions of possibilties running through my head.
Shanina Conway, 6 months ago
Wow what a trip bb…! You are lucky, a fairy must have kissed you on the butt;)
billyboy in reply to Rhana Griffin’s comment, 6 months ago
It`s OK, please come back… I made the whole thing up (says BB with fingers crossed behind his back)...
Naylor, 6 months ago
WOW the angels were watching over him that day huh?? ANd YOU !!!!
I LOVE to drive fast … my father was a race car driver for years when I was younger and I spent alot of time at the track so I completely hear ya on crankin the tunes and spreading the winds !!!!!!!!!!! lol (just got criminal speeding off my record lol shhhhhh)
I’m with M… Do you need TWO assistance in the studio???!!!!!!!!
billyboy in reply to Shanina Conway’s comment, 6 months ago
Hey Shanina, I actually think it was one of your black winged numbers that must have taken a shine to my butt… so thanks BIGTIME for sending that vixen!!
Rinkydink, 6 months ago
scary story, like the humour of it – sounds like you had extremes this last week.
billyboy in reply to Naylor’s comment, 6 months ago
Why Celena, you dark horse! Criminal speeding? Spreading the winds?? That`s just the kind of rock & roll we love… so forget the assistant thing. How bout chief A&R coordinator?
billyboy in reply to Rinkydink’s comment, 6 months ago
Yeah, good times, bad times… kinda like Led Zep! Two important things in life: stay alive, and smile while you`re doing it. Thanks for commenting!
Naylor, 6 months ago
I would be completely HONORED to be chief A&R coordinator !!!! Just to call you my friend is such a treat BB ((((HUG)))))
I ment spreading the WINGS lmao… hadn’t had enough coffee yet this morning love .,., hehehehe…..
billyboy in reply to Naylor’s comment, 6 months ago
No Celena, spreading the wind is cool… like you`re driving so fast you`re spreading the wind apart. Think you`ve just invented a new concept. See why we need you now for A&R?
Hugs right back atcha!
billyboy in reply to Irish’s comment, 6 months ago
Millie, how bout handling A&R for our Irish customers while Celena does everyone else? You`d have the tougher job by a mile!
Irish, 6 months ago
There ya go….thats a plan…llo
Arlene Zapata, 6 months ago
BBl: Your writing is always entertaining, will always read to the end! Glad you had a FAB time, lookin’ forward to the new pics. Reminds me of a great time in the 80’s when I drove 110 MPH thru the Mojave Desert. Thanx for sharing!
photos40, 6 months ago
First of all you should have gotten his name & address to send him some car air freshner & a new pair of underwear. Second of all I wish the U.S would put in a Autobahn too. Third of all Hell yeah you met Kerry ( SLAYER ) King. You rock BB. You are my new friggin HERO.!!!!!!!!!
Rhana Griffin, 6 months ago
Ok… so I’m back. Finally got up the courage to read this again and all I can say is SMACK YOUR LEGS FOR SCARING ME!!! Oh and… you need to buy your Angel a drink, for sure as hell she had to have been going Mach 5 with her hair on fire trying to pull you out of THAT little mess!
Now…. BRING ON THE PICS!!!!!
billyboy in reply to Arlene Zapata’s comment, 6 months ago
Arlene, you’re a bit of a dark horse yourself… 110 through the Mojave Desert? You’re stepping into ZZ Top territory!!
Thanks for looking and sharing the vibe!
billyboy in reply to photos40’s comment, 6 months ago
Hi Wayne! In about 4 hours I’ll have a pic of me & Kerry givin’ it to the camera… might even be a trashy tramp (or 3) from the Warwick stand… so stay tuned!
An Autobahn in the US? I think it’s only the truckers who would do over 70, so don’t know if there’d be much point…
Just got back from your pf. Those are some great shots of R. Trower. Spent lots of time at U of Louisville in 71 listening to Procol Harem… brought back some nice memories, so thanks for that!
billyboy in reply to Rhana Griffin’s comment, 6 months ago
Thanks for mustering up the courage to come back and smack my legs (Mmmmmmm…). I actually bought her lunch yesterday (hey, waddya think I don’t know how to thank an angel?) and it seems she knows you, so be afraid…
Pix later today… you’ll be in bed, but they’ll totally be in your face when you wake up!
clarkey, 6 months ago
Four hours is a VERY long time to wait, Bill. STOP TEASING this poor old hag and post, quick . . . before I die of curiosity!
Rhana Griffin, 6 months ago
I’m not in bed… just got back from a book party where they fed me WAY too many vodkas! Must have worked though coz I bought a shitload of books… WHERE’S OUR PICS BB??
clarkey, 6 months ago
Your 4 hours is UP, billyboy. I won’t sleep until I see them, so, quick, I’m dying . . . of curiosity. :-/
billyboy, 6 months ago
Alright already…. jeeze, I’m gettin’ my leg humped from every direction today so I’m doin’ the best I can… I’m going RIGHT NOW to upload these puppies…
Hey c’mon… WAKE UP!!!
Jason Moses, 6 months ago
Hey, Billyboy, I like reading your books. Glad to hear that the dude was OK and you are almost as lucky doing what you do for a living =)
clarkey, 6 months ago
I did wake up, as you know, at 0530.
William Jackso..., 6 months ago
Oooh that sounds fun! the autobahn i mean…i think there were a couple lucky bastards that day….him for not hitting anything, and you for not getting hit….cheers!
Mechellerene, 3 months ago
Awesome.
Rhonda Thomassen, 3 months ago
I always wondered what it would be like to travel that stretch of road, you brought it prety much to light. thanks for sharing. What an adreneline rush that must have been!