Remember the world when you first ventured forth, you loved it didn’t you.
I remember when you went to the little hidden pool just a bit further into the woods than most people go, you looked around before taking it all off and jumping in. My you splashed around, you were a game girl even back then, suppose that’s youth for you, I wouldn’t know, well not from experience anyway.
I’ve often kept an eye on you, nothing fancy just popping in every now and then, see how things are panning out, you see your hourglass was never that large.
They drained your skinny dipping pool at the end of your fourteenth summer, god you were so angry, the council had always promised to leave that little bit of paradise alone. Came out with all the usual stuff about the people needing a place to go, to walk dogs and of course it was right to have a haven for wildlife… but you know what councilors are like, one little backhander from a construction company, a few thousand pounds of Marks & Spencer’s gift vouchers for the lovely wife and its all change.
The very same councilors start talking of pressures on housing and this and that and before you know it the same crappy toy town Barret housing looms right across the street from you, not the lovely old trees with the mould on them.
You woke up to the dead, the dead of silence, no birds, no foxes, no nothing except the supermarket sterile housing scheme’s that housed much the same type of people… I remember watching you lay in your bed that morning when you made all your life changing realisations. The one that made you sigh and giggle was the fact you lived in the same type of house with the same type of family. Like supermarket fruit and veg, all very vapid and flat, tasteless and disengage… they read the Daily Mail.
You wanted out after that, you wanted to come over to what is known as the alternatives, so you started looking like something out of a Tim Burton movie. Instantly you Gap-styled friends left you, but out of the wood work came others, who had been invisible until then.
You took a step and left the mainstream safety of the X factor behind… you kissed girls for the first time, you were tasted for the first and most mind-blown time … and you got into loving tunnels, colourful swirling tunnels.
You’d lay on the bed sometimes naked, sometimes not alone and while it was your turn to be tasted you’d smile wide at the beautiful sensations and pretend the room was swirling around you like Dorothy in the ‘Yellow Brick Road.’
You know every now and again I get a tinge when a genuine and beautiful person has to leave, I got that tinge when I came for you … you were quite okay about it, humans usually are after been strapped to a machine for weeks on end.
Now, you being one of my tinges I thought I’d allow you some out of body time … There you go, Oops Hello, yep it me, I really do exist, not just a voice in your head. I know floating is cool, its a very popular past time with humans … oh that’s nurse Glenns, smashing woman, been looking after you since you arrived
Come lets go through the walls, this way… Things have calmed down a little now, it was a bit tense when your life’s components all meet in the same room.
Yours parents knew you had changed but didn’t know why, you didn’t say, they didn’t ask. So too come face to face with your non-mainstream life, where you felt belonging and with those whose arms your felt belonged in, well it was quite a shock… for a start there’s more than one, and er there seems no gap between dates. Infact there’s quite an overlap, so much so that it appears that Tom and Belinda were with you at the same time.
Your mother cried and almost fainted when she realised the nature of the overlap… you see she found your dairy, it as very enlightening as to what was going on in your head and in your bed ..it was a bit much to be honest…But it was a beautiful first love, the butterflies you and Belinda had in your stomachs, but after that first kiss the butterfly folded its wings and settled, Tom … god what a find, where did Belinda find him from eh. Tender, sweet understanding and lots of trust and intimacy, yeh you had it good, my girl.
Anyways, your dad is more of the solid type of chap. You know if I can be so bold was to say you could’ve talked to him more than you knew, he wasn’t the horrid daily mail reader that you thought … did you never notice he never read the rag, it was always your mother… not much going on between them you know. Did you never realise … your brother did.
But that’s got nothing to do with you anymore, but if you want to know your parents are going to have a quite divorce they only stayed together because of you and Jack, and Jack doesn’t give a fuck about the whole shooting match. Fact he’ll be the one to tell them to fuck off, from each other… you see he knows your mother is seeing that twat Henry from the golf club, while your dad is shagging the deputy head Mistress from your old primary school… Oh yeh, you were wrong about them haha, funny… no worries love most teens are wrong about there parents.
Your brother will grow up and live a pretty cool life as all boys with jet black hair called Jack should. He’ll travel the world taking pictures with a Luminx GF1 camera and live easy on the money your grans gonna leave him in about oh three years time. He’’ll buy his little flat outright and be cool Jack, drinking Absinthe and trip with the odd space cake once every six months… Happy with that, good.
What… Oh your parents, well your dad will be more at ease with himself and life in general, Polly makes him very happy, he should never have married your mother. Oh lordy didn’t they all know it, he’s been seeing Polly for the last ten years. But don’t be angry it kept him sane and it kept the marriage with your mother on track so you and Jack had a happy and stable upbringing… but you my dear will always nag him… he’ll regret not sitting down and taking more time with you, he feels a bit of a failure… you see you could’ve told him you like girls as well as boys, he wouldn’t have cared on jot and he feels he never managed get that trust with you. He’ll contend himself saying it was you at that awkward age, and in a sense he’s right.
Hey you, don’t get to upset you’ve still got some breath in you yet, about 15 seconds worth, you want to use to good effect
Oh yeh your girlfriend and your boyfriend, well they visit your grave all the time, and strike up a close friendship with your dad, not your mother though. Well she does marry twat Henry from the Golf club after all.
Both Belinda and Tom never shared with anyone else ever again, and named there daughter after you… Belinda studied Surface design and Tom music therapy … Don’t worry about them, they have a good life. You ready, good. You know what to say, not much time left. It’s Belinda hugging you first, (mums pissed-off lol)
You – ‘hey there first love, we still sharin’ butterflies.’
Belinda (crying over check) – ‘and our names still tattooed on its wings. Bye my sweetest.’
Your mothers just kissed your cheek, she can’t find the words yet, hang on. ‘Sorry Haley I love you so much.’ She’s been helped to a seat by your dad and Tom.
Its your brother, another kiss… he’s whispering in your ear ‘Hey I’ll see you in our next life, I’ll take you to the top of this beautiful building and will fly from it, all the way to the center of the sun. Trust me you’ll see, and tell death I know where he is.’
…Er right he’s just winked at you and giving you another kiss …
Its your dad now ‘Haley, along with jack your the best thing that’s every happened to me, I know its not the end but I know I’ll never see you again. Just have the happiest journey and I’ll think of you traveling to where ever your going.’ He’s crying now, over your face, his got your cheeks in the palm of his hand and is smiling, very odd. ‘Haley, you love tunnels, your going to love the one your about to see, I understand a bit better now, things have just been cut a bit short… now be on your way my little sparrow.’ He’s just kissed your forehead, Er right, very off-putting family you got here, the gift of sight with a couple of them I see, well you got those fifteen seconds of breath left, go for it girl.
‘Dad, your right the tunnels beautiful, we’ll connect again, trust me, no regrets your a fab dad. Jack can’t wait to see this building, Tom I’ll miss your hands as much as Be’s tongue… wow its beautiful! Hey mum, cheer up. Love you…’
Your eyes have just closed for the last time, last thing you just heard besides the cries of loved one’s is the machine’s flat line.
You open in a new clearing in front a tunnel whirls calling you – beyondsight. Into the other dimension. Its the very one your dad seen, its whirling like the room did when Tom, you and Belinda made love … Rob painted it special …. Your dad, your, ah you can’t remember you past life, gone, yep got the memories tucked up in here already, that was quick, well you were only 15.
Your dead, yup this is you going over, your standing in the little bit in-between… you were a cool 15 year old called Haley.
Why, the hospital couldn’t find a bone marrow for you… sorry, but old age ain’t no guarantee.
You ready. Good, to the left of the painting is the road, come lets walk it the tunnels waiting … yeh its warm, nice isn’t it … tell me is my voice fading oh good. I’ll stop now, don’t look back only you walk through, see you when you come back round again … bye.