berndt2: Recent Art, Design & Photography | RedBubble

berndt2 › Portfolio › Recent › Writing

Medium:

Writing

Order by:

Recent

I am sitting in a room because people are bastards by berndt2

The door is just over there to my right, but I can not leave. I’m trapped. And it’s not even locked. 1659 words

"AVATAR" as a 15 minute movie by berndt2

“Welcome to Pandora. Every plant, animal, and even the atmosphere, can kill you. That tree over there? It hates you. Those butterflies in the yard? Deadly. The afternoon breeze? Carries a KNIFE… 6882 words

The Picard-era Star Trek Films in approx 15mins by berndt2

Picard: A wise man once told me that a light plot is better than no plot. / Kirk : Who was that? / Picard : The bad guy over there trying to blow up the sun / Kirk : I see… 3848 words

The Shatner-era Star Trek Films in approx 15mins by berndt2

Kirk: Scotty, take us back in time to the most exotic location that a studio based in Hollywood, California in the 1980s can afford / Scotty : How about 1980s San Francisco? / Kirk : Do it! 4030 words

Batman Begins as a 15 minute movie by berndt2

Morgan Freeman: Dude, you’re not even wearing a NAME BADGE, and you want me to outfit you with enough firepower to run a small army? / Christian Bale: Please? 4833 words

JJ Abrams' "Star Trek" as a 15 minute movie by berndt2

Kirk: Could mentally destabilising the Captain during a time of war be considered illegal or treasonous in any way? I ask because I’m still on probation from cheating on a school exam… 4888 words

How bad can T-Mobile be? by berndt2

.. it’s like having to tell the guy who’s stalking you on Facebook what your home address and phone number is to make him stop. 1702 words

It sucks to be a Customer by berndt2

There is a certain illumination that can only come when you are informed that it takes a year to learn to drive a vehicle that only goes forwards and backwards, on its own rails. 1071 words

How to make a cup of tea in 25 minutes by berndt2

Four of the cups are so ultra-slim that they can barely be called cups, and the other one looks like it was gnawed on by a hungry alpaca for a good day and a half 970 words

Your Feedback is Important to Us by berndt2

It’s about as asinine and tactless as telling a man dying of thirst that you can’t help him, but perhaps he should find some water. 1876 words

"Sponsor Me To Have Fun" by berndt2

If you’re doing something amazing like motor-biking the Great Wall of China “For Charity”, is it nasty of me to think that maybe you have an ulterior motive? 2170 words

stupid Stupid People by berndt2

What exactly is your job? Oh, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I forgot that all the text copy-pasting is really, really time-consuming. 1800 words

Management Regrets... by berndt2

My attention was drawn to something on the staff noticeboard more serious than the usual cartoony reminders about workplace safety and upcoming cupcake sales. 2039 words

My Rail Company by berndt2

What would my fare rise be used for, I wondered? Well, if the posters were to be believed, probably guard towers and razor wire and bad-tempered rottweilers 1760 words

Windows Media Player 11 by berndt2

This content is not visible because the safe filter is on. 1732 words

The I.T. Feedback Process by berndt2

I hate that this can’t be more like a movie. That there will be no moment where I can fight my way past the ninja minions of the head of IT and confront the sinister evil Behind It All 1738 words

The I.T. Department by berndt2

Wait – what?I needed to log a password reset request on a computer, even though I’d called in to say I couldn’t log in because I didn’t have a password? 1150 words

Six Word Story 5/6: "Two self-inflicted gunshots to ... by berndt2

Six Word Story 3/6: "She had broken his only heart." by berndt2

Six Word Story 2/6 : "Nobody has time to read haikus" by berndt2

1 to 20 of 21

← Previous
Next →