Joined July 2007

Bernd Talasch doesn’t remember being hatched in a research laboratory in Omaha in the late 1950s so maybe that never happened....

Rise of the Guardians premiere - Chris Pine! Isla Fisher!

It’s the third premiere in three days, and I’m less interested in posting this one on Merit than I am in doing it for completeness’ sake; and even less about Completeness than I am about Research. After yesterday’s Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 2 premiere and the day before that’s Nativity2 premiere I’m trying to figure out whether being one of a thousand people at a premiere (all taking photos) is better than being one of just a couple of people at a much smaller premiere is a good thing. ie. It’s all about science. And to a greater extent balloon artistry, also. Here’s how “Rise of the Guardians” went down…

So I guess Dreamworks are going to try to Register and Trademark Santa Claus, The Easter Bunny and The Tooth Fairy like they came up with the idea? Damnit, I need to trademark Wednesday….

Leave your backpack unattended for a few seconds at a train station and some bomb disposal robot will probably destroy it just to make sure, but put a giant painted egg into the middle of a park six weeks from Christmas of all holidays and nobody says a thing? How does that work?

Ballooon artists. They’ve studied ART, and are sick of making dinosaurs and bunny rabbits.

“Don’t mind me, I’m filming fenceposts” Because, like, Art. This premiere is getting off to a weird start..

IN a premiere that was nowhere near as friendly or well-organised as yesterday’s Twilight Breaking Dawn part 2 premiere the entire centre part of Leicester Square was sealed off for media and photographers only, while everyone else had to wait outside. Sounds reasonable, except it’s usually the crowd who MAKE an event. Take the crowd out of the event and you have this : Star Trek’s Chris Pine standing, lonely, in the dark, wondering where the cheering fans are.

“So I take it you guys don’t want to photograph me any more?” Wow. The Paparazzi are probably waiting for an attractive female to show up.

“You guys sure know how to make a girl feel special” Isla Fisher arrives too. Poor girl. I’d totally console her if I wasn’t twenty meters and two fences away.

Yesterday’s Twilight premiere looms like a shadow over everything this premiere is not. And damnit, Alec Baldwin didn’t show up for “Rise of the Guardians”. (Not that he showed up for Twilight, but that’s not the point)

Meanwhile – girl with beret. Now in colour. And I’ve lost feeling in both legs. (It’s a cold night, did I mention?)

“OMG that video is totally disgusting. What did you say that website was, again?” Isla Fisher has made it through the darkness and indifference to meet with her fans out in the brightness of the carpet leading to the cinema.

Posing with some guy, but looking at me. I feel unaccountably like I’ve won. AND lost. At the same time.

Pete never regretted taking his two tall cousins to every premiere he went to.

“That’s fascinating, Steve. But I’ll have to talk Vulcan psychology with you after I’ve signed a few more autographs” Along with JJ Abrams’ Star Trek, Chris Pine was also in This Means War with Reese Witherspoon and Tom Hardy

Joe had never taken well to losing a game of Celebrity Scissors-Paper-Rock.

“Rock. That’s How I Roll” I… okay.

It’s Amanda Holden. I have no idea what TV show / Radio show / Syndicated Column / Edward-vs-Jacob Team she’s on, but somebody pointed her out to me.

Wow.. that balloon artist sure outdid herself with that bit of neo-post-modernist work. Like a BOSS.

Ever since starting in Security, Allan had been laughed at for insisting on the need to have a Code Nine One Seven Lima Charlie put aside for this specific occurrence (Balloon Artist Psychological Meltdown). Who was laughing now?

And a late bit of ACTUAL awesomeness is the guy on the left – composer Alexandre Desplat who toiled superbly for minimal acknowledgement with the excellent score for ‘The Golden Compass’, and also the final two instalments of the Harry Potter franchise.
So. That was that. I won’t call it the best premiere ever, not the best premiere of the last three days, not even the movie I’m more likely to see than the final Twilight film, but the balloon artistry was mindblowing and that’s not a bad thing. I’ll put it into my archive of movie premieres because it’s there.

Until next time!

(the answer, by the way, is that it’s slightly better to be a big fish in a small pond than a small fish in a big pond. But it’s MUCH useful to be at one attended by a star with a rabidly dedicated and loyal fanbase. ie. Any kind of fish in the fountain of youth, so to speak)

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