It was a dark and cold evening, and a greater number of ruder (and culturally nonrepresentative, I’m sure) French tourists seemed to converge on Leicester Square to bask in the world premiere of the movie ‘Gambit’. Either that, or they were one week early for the Twilight premiere and wondered why Taylor Lautner was now an old dude with a porn moustache and Kristen Stewart an older blonde woman. Even so…
Please stop playing country music at premieres. At least not from two hours before. And at least not quite so loudly. Handing out free cowboy hats to the crowd was a nice touch… but you have no idea quite how lunatic people can get at the prospect of Free Hats.
Like a ninja, the director managed to zip past me and get interviewed facing the wrong way and then went deep underground for the rest of the event. So here, meanwhile, is the second arrival. Professor Snape has a pornstache. I’m mildly alarmed.
Clearly disappointed with my lack of progress in Spells and Potions this year.
… but as my Slytherin house teacher, can’t stay mad at me.
Get your point-and-shoots and mobile phones ready. it’s…. it’s….
It’s TOM!!! (…. except I don’t know which Tom. Hiddleston, Berenger, Selleck, Hardy, Hanks…. or other)
…. oh. right. It’s Tom Courtenay. He was in Dr Zhivago, which I barely remember; and The Golden Compass, which I’m still trying to forget. But I hear the books are great.
Preparing for the next arrival…
“You’re taking a photo of me on an iPad? How droll and common” For the Twilight premiere, I’m planning to ditch my DSLR and take photos on my laptop’s webcam….
Behind Colin Firth is London’s M&M World. I can’t say I’m a regular there, but the colour and lighting it lends to some premieres can be very helpful. I’m celebrating this by converting this shot to black’n’white…
Colin Firth is happy to meet fans, but doesn’t high-five just anyone. He’s an Academy Awards winner. (Chest-bumps or higher, people)
And Cameron Diaz has arrived! (Lucky I’m wearing my STYLE beanie)
We made a connection! (I wanna shout out “I loved you in Any Given Sunday!” but it’s a clunky sentence)
Thanks for breaking the connection, Firth…
I’ve regained a (sort of) connection!!
Thanks a LOT, Firth.
“And then Jim Carrey was like RAAARRRRGH and put on the Mask. Oh, how I loved that film…” Indeed.
“I don’t ever want to speak to that man again.”
One last interview, and we’re outta here. They posed for the photographers, but this time the red carpet was so crowded that I couldn’t even get so much as a backlit starburst from the press. And you know me… if there’s no starburst, there’s no point.
Next week it’s Twilight 4b, and I expect it will be an utter zoo.
I’ll make sure to bring tranquilizer darts.
Until next time!