I was at the BAFTAs in 2010, where I took shots of R-Patz and K-Stewz; and Kate Winslet and I shared a moment that made me kind of sad we never ended up hooking up. I’m not laying blame, I’m just saying…

Anyway, I was in Australia this time in 2011, but now it’s 2012 and while I wasn’t game to camp out in MINUS FIVE DEGREE temperatures, I was willing to go to some lengths to secure some shots.

Here’s how it went down:

I got wristband #208 of … I don’t know actually. But a 5:15am arrival meant not camping out and only developing mild chill. So it was three and a bit hours of queueing, then four hours break to have lunch and regain my core body temperature, and then returning once again.

They let us in, in batches of 10 or so at a time, at around 1pm. That meant only having a 3.75hour wait before it started! (fortunately I had people to talk to and the weather was warming up. To… like.. .five or six degrees!)

DJ Fearne Cotton. Nearby lady : “So many nice rabbits died to make that jacket”

More pre-BAFTA preparations: “Karen, stop whining. The quicker you get an immunity to pepper spray the better a reporter you’ll be”

“This hat should get a laugh out of Clooney”
“Yeah, but maybe not his bodyguards”

Miss Piggy at left. (“Stay away from that heater, Miss”) -

… I believe she intends to tell Brad Pitt that it’s not a lacy top, it’s a full upper body tattoo.

And we’re off. Not to spoil anything, but fans of Christina Ricci and actor Michael Fassbender will find cause for disappointment with what’s to follow. But, for now, here’s the actress wife (Downton Abbey, I’m told) and Director of My Week With Marilyn

Viola Davis from “The Help”. Her Co-star Octavia Spencer won the Best Supporting Actress award. Despite the expression, Viola presumably doesn’t know this yet.

This is Octavia Spencer, who ended up winning the Best Supporting Actress award. Despite her expression, Octavia probably didn’t know this yet

Emilia Fox (I can’t remember if she was in ‘War Horse’ or not)

No idea, and Wireimage is up to nearly 500 photos from the night so it’ll take me a while to figure it out, sadly.

It’s Hayley Atwell, and I’m too busy to check imdb right now to figure out what she’s been in. (… Captain America, apparently)

Hayley Atwell says “I was in that FILM, moron”. Erm. Right.

“Ms Anderson, did you know they’ve announced an “X-Files Movie 3?”

Actress Bonnie Wright (Ginny Weasley from Harry Potter) looking all Goth and Stuff.

Octavia Spencer and…. argh. His face rings a bell (as does mine when I headbutt a door…)

Eddie? Redmayne? (lead actor from My Week With Marilyn) – I’ve since been told that he’s excellent in ‘Pillars of the Earth’.

Actor, gentleman, and allegedly awesome poetry reader Tom Hiddleston hugs a director.

Girl : “And then I spent two months in Colombia learning gang signs. Wait… you’re not even Simon Pegg, are you?”

Hey, it’s that guy with a phone in front of his face!

“I’m going to keep this pen and sell it on ebay as “George Clooney touched this”. Is that okay?"

“Wow. Third nipple right there… just like you said”

Oceans 11. Great film. Brad Pitt : also good in that. (Yes… he’s coming up soon)

I’d like to think his inner monologue here is “Kenneth Gunna Do Somethin Smooooth”

Jessica Chastain is super-friendly AND in “The Help”. And The Debt

“Lawrence, we’re not going to talk about George Lucas’ latest changes to the Star Wars Trilogy, or releasing Episode 1 in 3D. I don’t have the energy”

Hey, it’s… that guy! (He was one of the nominees for the Bafta Rising Star award, if my memory of the ceremony serves. I was home photoediting throughout much of it) (Chris O’Dowd from Bridesmaids, I’ve since been told)

Jeremy Irvine, lead performer in War Horse (well… not counting the horse.)

He reads Shakespeare, directed ‘Thor’ and was in ‘Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets’ – it’s Kenneth Brannagh, UNTANNED.

The two Bond girls from the currently-filming ‘Skyfall’. I’ve already forgotten their names. Wait… Naomi Harris? (Ah, yes. Naomie Harris, Berenice Marlohe )

This is my second BAFTAS and the second time I’ve found at least one shot that makes use of a reflecting pylon!

Man’s shoulder blade blocks maybe 1/8th of the face of Dame Judi Dench. In preceding and subsequent frames, that shoulder blade blocked anything from 25% to 100% of my view. Awesomely, her look in this photo mirrored my own as I was taking it. Fortunately, I’d photographed Judi Dench days earlier at the premiere of Best Exotic Marigold Hotel

Olivia Harrison. Can’t remember the film. That said, her expression suggests she doesn’t really remember me either, so the awkwardness on both sides is mitigated.

I’m still undecided on the awesomeness of Jonah Hill (I never watched ‘Superbad’ for one thing), but I loved ‘Moneyball’ and he was great in that. And tan jackets are making a comeback for bald people, I hear?

Side profile of Gary Oldman. I recently rewatched ‘The Fifth Element’. Same actor. Wow. He’s been massively lauded for his role in Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

It’s John Hamm from ‘Mad Men’, a show I don’t watch. (I don’t own a bow tie either).

Christina Hendricks from ‘Mad Men’, a show I (still) don’t watch.

John Hurt = Awesome. He won a special award for “Outstanding British Contribution to Cinema”, so my view is similar to the Academy’s in this field.

The Director of Tinker Tailor Solider Spy I think. The name escapes me but it’s something Scandinavian.

Actress Tilda Swinton was in ‘We Need to Talk About Kevin’. Plus she was the Snow Queen in that Narnia film with the dodgey sequels. Which gives you an idea of my cultural awareness.

Meryl Streep’s profile is staggering. The hair looks architecturally unlikely, but somehow she was able to walk with it.

Meryl Streep has won more Oscars than you and all your friends put together. (Unless you have some really awesome friends, or people who win heaps of those technical awards, I guess…)

(… I’m babbling.)

Aussie actor Chris Hemsworth is rocking the long hair, but probably worries about his assistant overshadowing it. He was last photographed in Sydney at the World Premiere of Thor where my DSLR broke just beforehand and I had to use my Nokia. Different city, different camera, and he’s got less stubble now…

Sadly, this is my only shot of Michel Hazanavicius the director of ‘The Artist’ (and his wife is the lead actress?) – it was getting closer to the start of the ceremony and the through-traffic on the crowded carpet was getting ridiculous!

Ah, the greeting that sparked a thousand furiously erotic fanfics. Loki and Thor (from ‘Thor’ and the upcoming ‘The Avengers’ movies) reunite on the red carpet.

“Dude, loved you in that movie”
“Dude, I kicked your ASS in that movie”

Okay, fine, one more Hiddleston shot. Because clearly Christina Ricci isn’t showing up or I can’t notice a pretty girl in a GOLD DRESS walking up a red carpet.

Colin Firth was dapper on the red carpet and gentlemanly during the ceremony. I last photographed him at Tinker Taylor Soldier Spy as well.

Tragically, this was my only shot of Jean Dujardin, who won Best Actor for ‘The Artist’. The only thing I can say in my defence is that he was in a silent film – he didn’t make a lot of noise as he walked past.

Michelle Williams (nominated for Best Actress for ‘My Week With Marilyn’) also zipped past.

Daniel Radcliffe meets a fan (?) on the red carpet and my sub-genre of ‘shots of the left side of peoples’ faces’ continues.

OMG it’s Brad Pitt. Love that left side (please turn around….)

“Angelina won’t let me pose like this when she’s on the red carpet with me. But she’s not here, is she? Wait.. is that camera on?”

Finally! “No, babes, I GOTTA head over there. I think I owe that guy five dollars”

Attendant : “Well, okay. But be quick”

One day if I post this shot or get it enlarged I’m going to have to make the call as to whether the assistant on the left destroys this shot’s inherent awesomeness or CREATES this shot’s inherent awesomeness. I call this shot Mr Jolie-Pitt

Brad Pitt’s index finger is awesome. Don’t take my word for it – check out the captivated face of the security dude!

That’s as close as I want any actor to get to me, photographically (it’s hard to change a 70-200mm f2.8 lens on the fly) (damnit)

“See how my finger confuses your autofocus and makes me all blurry?” Yeah, thanks for pointing it out, Tim Burton!

The fantastic Helena Bonham-Carter arrives late, but triumphant.

And she really is sorry she can’t stop to chat. (now THAT’S acting!)

So that was the BAFTAs. Who did I miss? Erm… Christina Ricci, 97% of the face of Cuba Gooding Jnr, all but the forehead and back 2/3 of Michael Fassbender, plus all of Penelope Cruz, Melissa George, Ralph Fieness, and the presenters and hosts (who I don’t think walked the carpet) – Stephen Fry, Hugh Jackman, Russell Crowe…. There were probably more. I did my best! (I also went to the pre-BAFTA dinner but those photos turned out rubbish)

Oh and if you’re sad about me not photographing Michael Fassbender (I sympathise, I guess), at least I did get him at the premiere of A Dangerous Method

One last shot for the night, and it just screams: “I didn’t win, but I’m mo%%herf$&ing taking this.” I look forward to the day when Samuel L Jackson or (say) Helen Mirren storms a stage and says this.

So…. I’d call that a weekend well spent. Did it turn out better than my shots at the 2010 Baftas – part 1 and part 2 ? Well… yes and no. I think the photos turned out better this year, and my access was better… but in 2010 I had a better, more dynamic vantagepoint. This year, like the other time, it was done with one camera (but a Pentax K-5 rather than the K10D), but only one battery (!) and involved 2,100 images taken in a bit under 2 hours. Oh and if you’re thinking ‘yeah, the shots are okay, but they’re kinda blurry, no?’ you’d be wrong. I minimise to 640 pixels, post to facebook, (who compresses) then link those to Redbubble (who I think stretches them slightly). So… they’re a bit better than these : I promise!

Here’s the Brad Pitt Shot . And the other one

Until next time? Yeah… pretty much 8)