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It’s the BFI Film Festival, and that means near as I figure it, there’s basically one event per day happening in and around Leicester Square. What, however, is the difference between a “Premiere” and a “Gala Screening” I hear you ask? I was set to find out this, and much more…

Here is (I’m told) every woman’s dream man, Colin Firth. At a gala screening for “A Single Man” – the one that preceded a later Gala Screening for “The Road”. (This is every girl’s dream man? Wow… George Clooney will be crushed)

Obviously, I didn’t swoon. But an unprecendented three (3) girls asked whether I’d email them the photos I’d taken of Colin “Mr Darcy” Firth. Umm… no problem! Here, have some George Clooneys as well!

Academy Award™ winner Ben Kingsley. A more standard and expected zero (0) girls asked whether I’d email them photos taken of him

So after that I stood and waited for about an hour for the next Gala Screening. Why? Two reasons : First, the next gala was for “The Road” – starring Viggo Mortensen (The King in “Lord of the Rings The Return of the King”), Guy Pearce (Aussie, and in LA Confidental and Memento) and Charlize Theron (photo taken last year, currently hanging on my wall)

The second? Well, because I was standing right next to a cute Philosophy graduate who had coolly and cleverly snuck into the Paparazzi Pen with nothing more than a Canon 350D and agreed to trust me with her credit card to pick up her movie tickets so she didn’t have to risk being discovered (because I’m trustworthy like that). Which is… pretty brazenly awesome. And she and I had a good talk… and she was nice. And it was…. nice.

This is John Hillcoat, the Australian director of the film. The lady with him is not identified by wireimage, but with all due respect (because I really like the character), I’d say she’s gunning for the spitting image of Edna Mode from The Incredibles

At this point, things were looking good…. until Paparazzi Pen started filling up, and the cute Philosophy graduate’s attention was suddenly and irrevocably diverted by a blonde-haired, blue-eyed, Polish-accented pro photographer wielding a Canon EOS 1D, who started chatting to her… And … like… damnit!! Honestly, what’s he got that I don’t? (Oh. Right. Every single one of the things I just mentioned. Damn)

“I’m sorry, but I can’t comment on whether Cheap Theatre Tickets are worth it” Actor Jason Isaacs is much more evil playing Lucius Malfoy in the Harry Potter films, where he dislikes Elves, Half-bloods and Polish people. (Or maybe that last one is just me.)

(Foreground, right) Actor Viggo Mortensen (Lord of the Rings, A History of Violence) diligently signs autographs for fans at the gala screening. Another difference between a premiere and a gala screening is that the Red Carpet is narrower, can wind around the outside of a building while cars park behind the cinema, and stars go in one side of the cinema entrance while ‘normos’ can go in via another one.

Aragorn! I noted that he was signing everyone’s autographs very cheerfully, so I opportunistically grabbed his autograph too. (What?... it’s not like I was trying to (or able to) impress some girl anymore by this stage!) Let me wallow in my geekhood. Stop judging. You weren’t there, man!!

Oh, and note to self – do not ever stand directly alongside a wall of paparazzi. Side-on? Yes. Behind? Maybe. But alongside them gives you weird angles and confuses camera sensors and you have to be really, really lucky to extract a single interesting shot Like here, where Viggo looks demonic, the lady next to him has seen something even scarier than Viggo, while the third lady? Eh… just calmly calling somebody. A priest perhaps.

So there you go. Charlize Theron didn’t show up. Still… the good news is : I already have photos from the next premiere ready to load. It’s for a small film from Kiwi director Jane Campion where, typically, the cute girl (Abbie Cornish, the actress in the film) didn’t show. (No, and the other one with a Canon 350D didn’t show either).

#sigh#. I’ll try to recover for the next journal!

Until then!

The archive of movie premieres

Featuring, most recently:
The Men Who Stare At Goats – Clooney! Again!
The Fantastic Mr Fox – Clooney! Murray! ... Cindy Crawford??
The Imaginarium of Dr Parnassus – Gilliam! Cole! Garfield!?
Creation – Bettany: Yes! Connelly: No!)
Inglourious Basterds – Tarantino! Kruger! But not Pitt!

Finally, here’s an easy link to my ‘Movie Premieres Highlights’ Calendar!