Joined July 2007

Bernd Talasch doesn’t remember being hatched in a research laboratory in Omaha in the late 1950s so maybe that never happened....

The Amazing Spiderman2 premiere - Garfield! Stone! Foxx! Webb!

After three premieres in three days last week , this week I have to make do with just one. On the plus side, it’s a World Premiere for the new Spider-Man movie. And after arriving somewhat late I was able to talk my way into the main pen to a spot in the third row next to the main stage. With the lovely Emma Stone set to be in attendance, and a huge heaving crowd in attendance, I had low expectations but high hopes.

Here’s how it went down.

My spot isn’t actually all that bad, and Sony have certainly spent pretty big on this particular premiere, from the custom carpet to the three-axis premiere setup that stretches to a cinema on the other side of the ’Square.

“Threaten the city with destruction or update Twitter? Why do I always have to make these compromises??” .

“When’s Batman going to be here?” Sadly, there’s still about an hour and a half to go before this premiere gets going. And we still have to have a costume competition and a rap battle. AND I have to do a danger assessment on which of the girls around me would cheerfully knife anyone getting between them and an Andrew Garfield autograph.

“Dont be concerned about your lack of height in this competition. Haven’t you been watching Game of Thrones?” Tyrion Lannister does totally rock. But this was, like, really a four year old kid, I think.

We’re underway and our first arrival is Spider-Man himself, Andrew Garfield, half an hour early to start signing in all three axes of this premiere’s layout. The bus didn’t linger.

Did I mention they also had free facepainting, toy and merchandise giveaways, and the distribution of Spider-Man themed 3D glasses? They certainly didn’t have that at Steven Spielberg’s War Horse back in 2011, that’s for sure.

“Kitchen Sink? We’re keeping that under wraps”
Matthew Tolmach is one of the four (five?) producers of this film… which might sound like a lot, but there are at least that many people with writing credits, too. Kitchen Sink is a movie he’s producing that is currently in post-production.

“Kitchen Sink’s gonna blow your mind”
I just checked on imdb and read the synopsis. It kind of might.

Avi Arad is one of four (five?) producers of this film – but he’s particularly noteworthy as he’s produced Marvel movies from all three major studios to own portions of the movie rights. X-Men with Fox, Spider-Man with Sony, and Iron Man with Paramount. That’s kind of like fighting with complete loyalty on three different sides of a war.

“Let’s have a moment of silence for Tobey Maguire. He was a good soldier” and a semi-decent Spider-Man in a prior iteration. Still, if Sony wants to keep hold of the rights they’ll have to keep making movie which means everybody on the planet will possibly eventually get to play Spider-Man. Like, even Avi Arad.

Marc Webb also directed the prior Amazing Spider-Man movie which in my opinion was approximately ‘adequate’ on a scale of 1-10 (I was at the end of a lengthy 24hour dual sting plane trip to the UK so that might have been a factor outside of his control), as well as directing Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Deschanel in “500 Days of Summer” which I really liked. The tie he’s wearing is nicely understated, too.

I’d like to think my guarded approval of his tie was what meant the most to him.

“I only picked it up about twenty minutes ago. I don’t know why everyone’s making such a big deal about it” It’s summer. I’m not even wearing a beanie to premieres at this stage.

Dane DeHaan was great in the movie ‘Chronicle’ which I didn’t like as much as I would have because, as I’ll tell anyone who plies me with a couple of drinks and asks me to elaborate, I wrote a NaNoWriMo story that had the same premise as that film (except it would have required a James Camerom sized budget to realise and might actually have been more economical to build a whole city to destroy than model it in CGI). Never mind…

“Dane DeHaan is going tie-less at this premiere. Can we get Jamie Foxx to come over to our side and make director Marc Webb feel totally over-dressed?”.

Jamie Foxx evaluates his loyalties.

People raising hands to ask questions. How quaint? (At this premiere they had bonus-type questions submitted by readers on Facebook)

“You honestly think Disney is going to get the rights to Spider-Man back, like, EVER??” There are ways it could be done. Probably not legally, but there are ways…

Jamie Foxx won a Best Actor Oscar for Ray in 2005, and has been Nominated for three Grammy Awards. As for Nobel Prizes for Physics? He and I have an equal number of nominations for those.

“Hey I know that guy – like me he hasn’t won a Nobel Prize for Physics!!” I just hope he remembers the five dollars he still owes me.

“I liked it how at the Iron Man 3 premiere Robert Downey Jnr just kidnapped a kid and took him on stage, so I’m going to do the same. Except I’m not going to ransom him or anything. I’m just going to keep him” I suppose I’d probably be best off not getting sued by Sony or Jamie Foxx’s people, so I’ll concede that he was the son of the guy who designed the suit Jamie Foxx was wearing.

It’s Emma Stone, which means over and above the director, actors, rap and dance music pumping at volumes sufficient to confuse migratory birds, heaving crowds, intermittent warm sunshine and general okay-ness, this premiere just got even better!

Emma Stone was great in the prior Amazing Spider-Man movie, where I’m not sure her miniskirt labcoat either advanced or set back gender equality in the sciences as such…

“That labcoat had no safety use whatsoever, but as I like to say: if you’re careful enough you also don’t need to wear a bib and napkin when eating” Hydrochloric Acid generally wipes off quite easily, too, I hear.

“You say the nicest things. Besides, that labcoat served its purpose : it made you think about safety”.

“I’m not sure which of the questions I asked that you’re responding to, but please feel free to elaborate as much as you feel is necessary. I feel a lot is necessary”

“Yes, I’ve seen the trailer for that movie. Also, I’m in it” Emma Stone has won the same number of Grammies and Nobel Prizes that I have, but we both have one less Oscar than Jamie Foxx. We have so much in common it’s got to mean something.

“My favourite superhero? You’re trying to trick me into mistakenly mentioning one that Sony doesn’t own the rights to, aren’t you?”. I say Condor-Man. I think there was a movie, once.

I will eventually stop posting one long sequence of Emma Stone photgraphs from this premiere. But not yet.

Andrew Garfield was previously in the prior Spider-Man movie, as well as “An Education”, “The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus” and he may or may not also know kung fu.

And how to convert a try in Rugby League.

“I hope the Australian government doesn’t actually allow stripmining of the Great Barrier Reef or authorise its use as a nuclear waste dumping ground. Oh, and I hope that the School of English to my left finds its missing letter ‘H’ " I say grab it from the word ‘English’ and confuse the hell out of people.

“Peace out, guys. I was not only paid to be in this movie, but I’ve got a free ticket to see this movie as well. That said, I hope I’ve inspired you to pay to see it.” Well… surely nobody wants to see Disney owning Everything, so perhaps there’s a reason to wish this movie well.

“You there! What rhymes with ‘put your hands up in the air’??”
I believe that since 1994, the answer has been ‘wave them around like you just don’t care’…. Jamie Foxx has taken to the balcony to spin diskz with DJ Whatsisname up in the Hizzle.

“That’s not the new song from Skrillex, it’s just static from the feedback, and some roadworks on the other side of Leicester Square” I think it’s both, and/or all three.

Oh, cruel fates. It seems Emma Stone can take better photos of herself on an iPad than I can of her using a top-end DSLR.

So.. that’s the end of that. Needless to say I will not be traveling home by Silver Merc or in the company of Emma Stone. When traveling to my abode, I choose to spend eighty pounds per week for First Capital Connect services that are typically running fifteen minutes late. They don’t even bother apologising or providing reasons anymore. (Sorry.. we were talking about Emma Stone?) (she’s pretty awesome)

“Flat Whites? At Starbucks? Since when?” Excitingly, they’ve already announced a FOURTH Amazing Spider-Man, even though the second one has yet to be released. I guess it’s true of movie franchises like it is of attracting women : confidence counts for a lot..

So that was rather exciting, I felt. I got home rather late….. but I also got photos of Emma Stone. And on most days, that’s a trade I’m confidently happy to make.

Until next time, it’s another one for The Archive of Movie Premieres

Which includes The Previous Amazing Spiderman premiere

The last few of which were
NOAH – Crowe! Aronofsky! Connelly! Watson! Lerman!
Divergent – Woodley! James! Winslet! Roth!
The Muppets Most Wanted – Miss Piggy! Kermit! Gervais! Burrell! Tucci!
Captain America : The Winter Soldier – Evans! Johanssson! SLJackson!

Twitter : @berndt2_photo

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