Joined July 2007

Bernd Talasch doesn’t remember being hatched in a research laboratory in Omaha in the late 1950s so maybe that never happened....

Locke premiere - Hardy! Scott! Knight!

So, no kidding, I got off a red-eye flight from Boston and after a 3 hour ninety-minutes-longer-than-planned afternoon nap, I headed out for London Film Festival. I was there for the premiere of 12 Years A Slave but that didn’t mean I didn’t also go to Drinking Buddies with Anna Kendrick attending. And though I was tired, and hungry, and it was late, and tiny violins were playing everywhere for my suffering and plight, I decided that I’d stay just a little bit longer for one last premiere for the day. Here’s how that went down.

True confession : this was the second premiere today that I was approached by a passerby and asked what movie this was a premiere for, and I had to admit I didn’t know, and they looked at me like I was a crazy person.

In my defense, the posterboards (and giant banner on the Odeon West End) were generically labelled “BFI London Film Festival”, so there’s every chance most of the people attending (including photographers, interviewers, and fans of Tom Hardy) didn’t know what movie this was. It’s a weird life. And I’m still jetlagged.

Actress Ruth Wilson was only a brief attendee at the premiere (or maybe I just arrived a bit late). She’s in this film, and was also in The Lone Ranger (which I recently watched. It was awful) and Anna Karenina (whose premiere I eschewed in favour of last year’s GQ Awards ).

Charlotte Riley isn’t in this movie, but she is standing in front of my camera. That’s usually enough to qualify.

“Sign me! Sign my boyfriend! Sign that building over there” Blood is in the water, and the fans are smelling it.

Andrew Scott is in this film, was also in Saving Private Ryan, and has won a TV BAFTA award for Sherlock. He’s just letting that sink in while the cameras are pointed at him.

As a society, I believe we need to start ostracising if not publicly shaming people who think it’s okay to hold up hardcover book-sized items on the justification of ‘it has a camera attached’. Yeah, so does the rear parking sensor on a lot of cars, but you don’t see me reversing a Bentley into the fan pen at a London premiere and shrugging my shoulders saying “I’m in front of you at the moment, deal with it”.

“Tom Hardy seems like such a lovely guy. Are we sure he was Bane in The Dark Knight Rises?”

Not as much fun as viewing events on an iPad, all things considered.

“Me? In a Star Trek film? My agent assured me every copy had been bought up and burned” Amazingly, one of Tom Hardy’s earliest film roles was as the bad guy in Star Trek Nemesis (and before that he had a small role in Ridley Scott’s Black Hawk Down".

“Me? In Sucker Punch? My agent assured me that every copy had been bought up and burned and Zack Snyder threatened with secrecy upon pain of death”. You know Tom Hardy’s a great actor when he can effortlessly disappear from the blame of being in the wretched Sucker Punch and come out the other side as a respected actor. I’ve photographed him at The Dark Knight Rises and This Means War

Tom Hardy and his unusually severe assistant stare down an entire Paparazzi cordon. I couldn’t see, but I believe six fainted and another four apologised profusely and left in tears.

“I just wanna say that Sucker Punch wasn’t entirely wretched. I enjoyed the Bjork video clip samurai battle” well, yeah. prior to that point the movie hadn’t gotten REALLY weird. Steven Knight both wrote and directed this movie – I last photographed him (and this or a similar beret) at the Jason Statham premiere of Hummingbird (aka ‘Redemption’).

“Clash of the Titans III? Well, I’m thinking of taking it down a more comedy/musical route” Oh, please do that. The franchise has already survived its own awfulness, and this could well constitue a worthy reboot.

Andrew Scott plays Moriarty in the TV series Sherlock, which I have been consistently encouraged to watch (and I’ve mentally filed that next to Breaking Bad, The Sopranos, The West Wing, and The Walking Dead, none of which I’ve watched either)

“The beret has been in the family for six generations and has its own twitter feed. Now stop talking about it, this is supposed to be MY night”

The Thor2 premiere is on Tuesday, and based on the expected crowds for that, I might be reduced to doing something like this.

Until then, here’s Hardy with his ?girlfriend? actress Charlotte Riley, whose filmography doesn’t contain anything I recognise other than the upcoming Tom Cruise / Emily Blunt film ‘Edge of Tomorrow’ (originally titled after the excellent Japanese novel “All You Need is Kill”). I meanwhile am straining 10-megapixel resolution to find out what exactly the pin on Tom Hardy’s lapel is.

Sometimes it pays to keep the camera pointed at the lead actor all the way until they enter the building. (I have a strong anti-stalking policy, but I believe that at a public event, the streets are fair game)

Others’ views may vary. (I might never now get back those five dollars Tom Hardy owes me)

So… that’s that, then. Time to get home and start mentally preparing for tomorrow and Only Lovers Left Alive . Can’t wait for that. Every time I take a photo of Tom Hiddleston about 6 times more people look at my journals (It’s mathematically indisputable!)

Until next time, it’s another for The Archive of Movie Premieres

Twitter : @berndt2_photo

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