call silas
Haven’t you ever wanted to call?
I think I just always wanted to begin a story with the word bollocks
call silas belongs to the following groups:
A New Aesthetic.... Divine and Otherwise , Melbourne & Victoria, Short stories - Spherical Scriptings, Travel and Adventure and WMG‘Bollocks!’
‘I mean it, man…...X-Ray Spex was the best punk band. Have you seen that woman wail, right here on this stage? Once you’ve heard her scream “Oh Bondage! Up Yours!” you’ll never go back to the Ramones. Check it out on Youtube, you’ll see what I mean.’
‘Nah, they can’t beat Iggy. No-one can beat Iggy.’
She slammed her glass down on the table and stood up, grinning. ‘You’re both wrong. Black Flag could blow them all away.’ And as the protests started to build, she headed off with a smile along the grimy passage to the back of the club.
It felt surreal to be walking along the hallways of CBGB’s. Two months after tumbling off the plane at JFK, ready and ripe for adventure, had resulted in little more than a gruelling waitressing job where the tips were sparse, and a harrowing hostel where the blankets had cigarette burns and what looked like a blood stain in the bottom corner. But its motley crew of hopeful backpackers provided stellar drinking companions, and so they’d wended their way across the Bowery and to the bowels of New York’s premier punk club.
The toilets at CBGB’s were a sight to behold, and she didn’t know where to look first: almost every square inch of the walls was covered in scribblings, a riot of colour and expression from three decades of customers. Endearments and expletives were scrawled across walls, behind water pipes and even, curiously, on the crumbling ceiling. As she washed her hands, her eyes fell to a single line etched onto the plasterboard where a chunk of the mirror had given way; seven words and a phone number, in curved script and emerald ink.
She held them in her head as she walked back to the table. The music debate was still spinning, opinions flying over the cred of Patti Smith versus the sexiness of Debbie Harry. She realised she suddenly had nothing to say. She closed her eyes and watched the words splash against her eyelids.
Call Silas if you feel it too.
A glass shattered behind her. The raucous braying was starting to grate. She wanted a whiskey. She wanted to take her boots off.
She wanted to call the number.
She played a game of pool and downed two tequila shots, sang to the Gits and flirted with a six foot three Irishman with mismatched eyes and dental challenges.
And then she stood in front of the ravaged mirror and pressed the numbers into her phone.
It was only when she slid into the passageway and heard the dial tone that the beat of her heart quickened.
Call Silas if you feel it too.
What the hell was she going to say? Maybe she should’ve peed first, or done another shot. Her breathing was shallow.
She was just about to hang up when he answered.
‘Go.’
She didn’t know what to say.
‘Is that Silas?’ She sounded ten years old.
‘Yes.’ The silence hurt her ears more than the noise of the club had.
‘Yes, this is Silas…..Hello?’ He was a man, not a boy, and beginning to sound impatient.
She tried again. ‘I just wanted….I thought….’
And then he knew. ‘So you feel it too, hey?’
She spoke the word so quietly it was almost a whisper. ‘Yes’.
‘What does it feel like?’ he asked. His tone was so gentle she felt like sighing.
She couldn’t believe she was answering him, but the words tumbled out of her mouth. ‘It feels like a hand wrapped around my throat, pressing just under my jawbone.’
‘And?’
‘And….and it feels like a presence in the corner of the room, darting into the shadows each time I turn my head.’ She swallowed, and kept going. ‘A taste on my tongue that I just….I just can’t wash away.’ Her voice caught on the last word.
She heard him take a drink of something, heard the clink of tooth against glass, and the soft expulsion of breath as he swallowed. ‘So what are you going to do about it?’
Her own words surprised her. ‘I could go home.’ She hadn’t allowed herself to say it yet, afraid the idea would take up residence and breed its defeat all over her being.
‘You can never go home.’
She recoiled as though he’d slapped her. ‘What?’
‘You can never go home. The only place that’s truly yours is your own shell, and if you don’t know that, you’re never going to be ok.’
The words spent a moment suspended in mid air, catching the light on their crystalline edges, before tumbling into place with beautiful clarity. The relief was astounding, and she closed her eyes as she breathed in deep.
‘What does the name Silas mean?’
He laughed, and the warmth came down the line. ‘In Latin it means ‘from the forest’.....where all the wild creatures belong.’
‘Why did you write your number on a bathroom wall?’
‘Why did you ring it?’
Because I wanted to know more. Because I’m afraid. Because I wanted someone in New York to have my number. ‘There are just so many stories on these walls….I was intrigued.’
Another laugh, and a greedy swallow of his drink. ‘Well, now you’re one of them.’ He slurred the last word, and she knew she had what she needed. ‘And don’t forget: sol lucet omnibus.’
‘What’s that?’
‘The sun shines for everyone.’
He hung up first. She kept the phone against her ear for a few seconds, and then folded it closed. She stood in the passage way, the phone still warm in her hand, before turning back towards the bathroom.
It took her a while, but she found a few centimetres where the plaster was scratched and someone’s previous words had flaked away.
She drew a pen from her bag, and uncapped it.
© bellmusker 2009
Lisa Jewell
I was excited at the title…..
then pow….I’m delirious. You had me moving in inch by inch until my nose was on the monitor…
Seriously exceptional writing….
I want to know what she writes….
I want to be able to make that type of call..
bellmusker replied
It warms my heart so much when you’re the first to comment….thank you, babe. Silas has been calling me for two weeks now, so this is a blessed relief to have him fall out of my pen. And I would LOVE to call a number I found on a bathroom wall…...shall we do it tonight at dinner? ;-)
roybarry
I need to know what she scribbles on that crumbling plaster, I won’t sleep now until I have some idea.
Effortless genius-your talent is on such a high trajectory.
bellmusker replied
Hmmm, I’ll let you know what she writes as soon as I find out! Thanks for your lovely comment….My daily routine has changed and I have lots of computer time on Thurs/Fri now, which means story time. Yay!
Paul Louis Vil...
Bell, you’re fantastic!
The beauty of human intrigue… we are are it’s willing slave.
The words… ‘Why did you write your number on a bathroom wall?’
‘Why did you ring it?’
Personally I feel like this is a conversation in itself!
I’m sure I’ve had conversations like this, perhaps with other words but with the same consequences.
bellmusker replied
The manner in which we interact captures my attention constantly…..I always hope I can do it justice. We’re all looking for connection, really, even those of us who prefer to walk alone.
Thanks, Paul – love it when you visit me! :-)
roybarry
oh my-that’s the sort of news that could cause widespread celebrations in the streets, from katmandu to Caracas…....
bellmusker replied
X
Enivea
Story time indeed! Yay yay!! Do you mean to say you’ve NEVER called a number on a wall?!
bellmusker replied
Do you mean to say you have?!
Adrian Carmody
goosebumps….
oh, and it’s totally Black Flag
bellmusker replied
If any of my pieces would lure you out of the woodwork, it’d have to be this one! And do you mean we actually agree on a band?! Bring on the Black Flag singalong!
Enivea
Ahh! But I’m such a quiet little thing…..lol!
Lisa Jewell
I’m up for it…..let us :)) xxx
oneperfectkiss
Fascinating Bell. I’ve often wondered about phone numbers on walls. I’ve often wanted to leave witty graffiti somewhere…..or call a number just see what the person was about. I happen to love odd conversations with strangers. Someone once called me….it was a wrong number and we had the strangest most fascinating conversation for half an hour….I’ve never forgotten it. I’ve also had someone calling me who refused to introduce himself….now that was really fascinating.,...anyway Bell thank you for your magic again. xxx
bellmusker replied
Ooh, I’m intrigued by the wrong number…so many stories could be written about that! Hang on, I think they have been, and a good few movies too :-) Thanks sweetheart x
DeviousLili
I got to the last word and was disappointed that there was no more!! It’s rare for me to feel that way over words. You weave them so well, darling girl. My pulse is still dancing inside my head.
xox
bellmusker replied
It delights me to leave readers wanting to know more about characters I create – thank you so much! And a dancing pulse is always good x
natapee
Man how I love your stories. They always stop me in my tracks. This was so surreal, Silas sounds like the philosopher I’d love to have a call away. I have never called one of my those numbers but I have had an amusing sms sent to me accidentally. I’ll share that story another time : ) . Looking forward to alot more stories. Love the inspiration that New York is serving. x
bellmusker replied
Thanks Nat, and you know I’m going to ask you about the sms next time I see you! x
Adrian Carmody
Gimmie Gimmie Gimmie… I need some more!
AFogArty
I yell with the voice of many…..... “more please”
Fantastic yet again Bell.
bellmusker replied
blushes thank you kindly
transmute
First thing I’ve read here in ages because it pulled me in. I wanted to know.
bellmusker replied
Thanks Chris, much appreciated. Though the best thing written on a toilet door that’s come my way is ‘what if the hokey pokey really IS what it’s all about?’ :-)
Alex Brown
Amazing as always. i love the grounding?(closest word associated to what i am feeling) sensation of the words you write.
just a side note: i decided on the name of my first male child a few months ago and i decided it would be Silus.
bellmusker replied
I researched his name for hours, and when I found it, I think I actually yelped. The rest just fell into place….amazing what unlocks us sometimes, hey? And I love your choice :-)
Matthew Dalton
I followed your link to the CBGB Ladies room (it was empty so… I wasn’t perv-. It was fine.).
The whole club is a cave and the graffiti is cave art, the perfect setting for a mystery of the deepest kind.
The style seems different from your other work. And yet it still contains many of the images that define your writing.
I hope you write more like this.
bellmusker replied
I don’t often write dialogue as such a central part of a story, perhaps that’s why it seems a touch different. But punk music, travel, and the love/hate relationship with intimacy is constant in my work…not to mention the whiskey!
Always lovely to hear from you, Matthew. I hope all is well in your world.
Leith O'Malley
One of my wants if time travel was possible is to visit the CBGB club in it’s hey day and watch Richard Hell and the Voidoids, the early Television line up, Debz and the Ramones..
Sadly that experience won’t happen, but you have transported me just the same Bell with this story and help from the thousand images and recordings I have in my head.
Glad she rang Silas and not one of the other numbers listed there ;)
If I ever do get there I will scribe “for a good read call Bell on …..” hehee..
Oh yeah, one more thing.
No-one can beat Iggy.
bellmusker replied
Can you imagine what fun I had with this one, dipping into my record collection and memory bank? But you’d need a time machine to go to CBGB’s in either case, I’m afraid, as it closed last year :-( I consider myself lucky that I made it there before its hallowed doors swung shut for the last time.
But we’ll have to talk about Iggy, I’m afraid….because once you’ve heard the power of the magical Lunachicks you’ll never be the same again!
(image by Katrina Del Mar)
friartuck
I read your stuff and it always fills my head with the things I want to write myself. I guess they call that ‘inspiration’... So there you go – you’re an inspiration Bell! May your pens and your Well of Ideas never run dry… ;-)
bellmusker replied
Thanks Kloose – I hope for that too :-)
Steve Strodder...
wow…you know those moments? it was like a mometagasm amazing, i was wondering bell is there anyway i can get some of your stuff in print?
x
bellmusker replied
it was like a mometagasm
Wonderful! That makes me very happy :-) x
gretchen .
i was so sad when cbgb’s closed down! i can just imagine all of the silas-es wandering about back then… you paint him so beautifully.
bellmusker replied
I’m so glad I got to walk its grimy corridors when I did…I have quite the Nancy Spungen fixation, I must admit. Thanks Gretchen, I love the thought of painting with words.
awdigitaldreams
You can never go home. The only place that’s truly yours is your own shell, and if you don’t know that, you’re never going to be ok.
You just get straight to the heart of it – so good, hon! xoxox
bellmusker replied
Ah, but it’s so true, isn’t it? You’re talking to a Cancerian here….my shell is all I need to feel truly at home. x x
berndt2
Very cool – and yes, I did notice I was slowly moving closer to my monitor while reading! Outstanding
bellmusker replied
Thanks Berndt! Don’t suppose you’re adding New York to your list of travels? Your images of that amazing city would be breathtaking :-)
Holly Ringland
BOLLOCKS! i laughed out loud right from the beginning.
ahhhhhh, my girl… here it is! i’ve been waiting to meet this man… and hearing his voice through your words was exactly as i imagined it would be from the hours of discussing him on my bed… or rather, your couch. bell, i think i love him… silas… this piece entwines so harmonically with my book i’m reading… remember the touch-me-not flower scene? reading the dialogue in this piece made me feel the same kind of way… like i’d stumbled into someone else’s shoes somehow and walked the steps of your narrator, looking, searching, mustering a bit of courage if for only a moment, to do something a bit crazy, a bit beautiful… to just feel something for just one moment, some kind of connection to someone… some kind of moment to count for… to be in someone’s presence who makes you feel like you can’t swallow. sigh. silas. i love him. dark, grimy, uber-cool… and completely intimate… i loved the teaser ending… dear god, please tell me this isn’t it and you’re going to write the next scene.
so… all in all my girl of bells… i do believe this has been a swaggering hit. from the forest’…..where all the wild creatures belong... such a seed was always going to grow intoxicating words in your pen xxx
bellmusker replied
Baby, it wouldn’t have been the same without you….how I love sitting on your bed turning words over and over til they tumble just right! Seriously, I tried to take the story down two roads and you’re absolutely right, the second fork was just my response to the message I got in New York: it didn’t belong in the story at all. He didn’t belong in it….and it took you to point out that Silas and the girl had all the words I needed. Thank you for your deft writer’s eye and your words of wisdom….and of course I remember the touch-me-not flower scene! To make someone unable to swallow properly is a skill indeed…..x x x
Larasolnishko
I like how you paint Silus, he become a mysterious predetour and you and we who will read will follow his steps….Strong writing, holding words which tumbled out of her mouth. ‘It feels like a hand wrapped around my throat, pressing just under my jawbone.’
bellmusker replied
Thank you; I felt as though the words tumbled out of my pen as they did out her mouth, it was such a joy to write. I love that unearthing stage of a story! It’s curious you saw him as a predator…different perceptions of characters are so interesting. Thanks for the comment, and the favouriting!
Damian
Fantastic. I loved how she became the next link in the chain of knowledge.
bellmusker replied
That part surprised me, but I was almost clapping when it came from my pen. Wonder if this means I’m going to continue the chain? Hmmmm, now that’s an idea…..
lacewren
http://www.kurtelling.com/music/live_in_chicago_out_takes/
Delores’ Dream, listen, all 16:36
auburn hair, Rilke, mirrors, recorded live in a nightclub
what’s the next link?
bellmusker replied
Thanks for the link….it’s actually blues that spends the most time on my stereo these days, but this piece tugged at my punk past.
Cassidy JK (Ra...
Here comes a not so eloquent comment…OH WOW. Lol. This was really awesome. I loved it.
bellmusker replied
Thanks Cassidy! I’m feeling that release when a brewing story finally forms, so your comment makes me smile :-)
Jessica Tremp
what a suspenseful read!!
what did she write, what did she write??
bellmusker replied
I’ll tell you over dessert….I never did get to the black sticky coconut rice x
Jessica Tremp
oh no…here I was walking home smiling over our equal love for black sticky rice pudding…we shall have to share it soon
x
p.s. i feel great this morning…i ate the rest of the pumpkin pie, have a cup of tea, the sun is coming in through those weird curtains and Mikey is rambling something in his sleep about the kitchen being all new and mine
bellmusker replied
Glad to hear it, darling. Me too…..am sipping vanilla coffee in the sunshine as I chat to Holly and watch old Madonna videos on TV. Let’s make a date for black rice soon…and there are few things cuter than sleep murmuring. x
Donna Huntriss
I am shivering in the office/art room digesting some forbidden chocolate biscuit ( only because i have already eaten four from a new packet…) I think I need to call your “Silas” for a cure or surreal chat! Love the story!
bellmusker replied
I’m sure Silas would have words of wisdom about chocolate…..how could he not?! Thanks Donna, appreciate the comment :-)
Jim Hall
You paint with words very well! Now I’m gunna have to wash down the screen of my monitor! great write! JH
bellmusker replied
Thanks Jim….hope I didn’t make too much of a mess!
SamiSkyeAngel
I love your writing style so much. It creats the scenes beautifully and fills my head with great imagery. I love your stories so much :)
Leaving it on a cliff hanger was such a tease though.. hahahaha
Cant wait to read more of your stuff.
bellmusker replied
Thank you! I didn’t mean to end it like that but my muse got hold of my pen and did it herself….even I was left saying ‘what?! But what did she write?!’....love it when my words catch me by surprise. So perhaps there could be part two, hehe. Thanks again, I appreciate it :-)
BiographyofRed8
what an intriguing story.. i wanted to know more and yet it kind of was like reading about those experiences that you have sometimes, that cannot be repeated, they just are.. your writing facinates me like that often
bellmusker replied
Such a lovely comment to leave; thank you so much. I’d had this in my notebook as a story idea for a year now, so I’m glad it finally took root and flowered! Thanks again :-)
Matt Roberts
Intrigueing. I like it. Doesn’t give too much away. Very simple, yet… not :)
bellmusker replied
Thanks Matt….that’s pretty much what I was aiming for! I think I’d like to have a Silas myself that I could call on those whiskey soaked introspective nights…..but I just had to write one instead. Cheers :-)
Lawford
Not knowing what she wrote on the wall makes this story very special.
bellmusker replied
Thanks so much for that…..when that last line fell out of my pen, I sat back in surprise and reached for my whiskey….how I love those moments of clarity and joy!
lucin
Such a writer you are. Your creation of the club itself was staggering as most of it just came from conversation and moving in it. I loved your profile talk as well. It is obvious why your fingers are inked.
bellmusker replied
Thank you so much – what a lovely comment to read. I adore New York so much, so if I managed to bring it alive then I’m delighted, sticky carpet and all! And my ink stains get bigger every day :-)
Cathleen Taraw...
Stellar.
bellmusker replied
One of my favourite words….thank you!