the taste of red

Author: bellmusker
Word Count: 510
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the taste of red

Phodophobia – Fear of the colour red
Nomatophobia – Fear of names
Thaasophobia – Fear of sitting
Euphobia – Fear of hearing good news
Nostophobia – Fear of returning home
Clinophobia – Fear of going to bed
Heliophobia – Fear of the sun
Panophobia – Fear of everything
Luposlipaphobia — the fear of being pursued by timber wolves around a kitchen table while wearing socks on a newly-waxed floor

the taste of red belongs to the following groups:

Got Melanocortin-1? , Melbourne & Victoria, Short stories - Spherical Scriptings and WMG

The first symptom was a cold sweat. Then his heart started its panicked slam against his ribcage, and he could taste the sourness at the back of his throat.

A traffic light was enough to start it off; more than enough. Oh, he could cruise through the green, no problem, but at the first glare of red he had to turn his head as he hit the brakes. Best not get him started on the flash of brake lights either.

Christmas was hellish for him. How a jolly fat man could trigger such fear was amusing to his colleagues and concerning to his friends, who knew better than to laugh by now, but that furry scarlet costume made the pins and needles break out across his hands, every silly season.

His housemates had become accustomed to picking out all the red snakes from the party mix – they were the most delicious, after all – and stored the cans of tomatoes with the labels facing inwards. One girlfriend had insisted on wearing red lipstick to ‘cure’ him of his phobia, but each time she leaned in for a kiss his repulsion was so severe he actually gagged. She didn’t take it well, but now tells the tale at dinner parties with a good-natured chuckle and raised eyebrows.

His doctor had tried hypnosis, but the root of his disorder had burrowed deep into his psyche and refused to loosen its grip. Medication could help, it was suggested, but when he popped one out of the packet into his waiting palm, a yelp of panic sent the red pill hurtling towards the ceiling. They’d explored the source as a fear of danger the colour symbolised, then a rejection of sexuality, and even a repudiation of his own mortality in an aversion to his blood. But really, what use was theory when you found yourself hiding in the supermarket from Coke cans? And the experts in charge of phobias must be sick bastards anyway; who else would call a fear of long words hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia?

Imagine a life without shiraz or strawberries, flinching from fire trucks and hyperventilating at Santa. He was a gentle man, a man of rhyme and reason, who paid his bills on time and wasn’t at all disturbed by the Odd Sock In The Dryer Syndrome, but show him a child with a red ribbon tethering a wayward balloon and his fists began to clench.

Tonight though……tonight the balance had to shift. Had to. Deep breathing would help, as would the Valium, but mostly, there was Carmella.

Her user profile had caught his eye immediately, and they’d fallen into a month of indulgent emails and raucous phone calls until the witching hour. A woman with a passion for Tom Waits and the dirtiest laugh this side of Tulsa could not be ignored, and a meeting had finally been arranged. And as he readied himself with a whiskey, he gazed again at the photo he’d finally been granted the night before.

Trust him to fall in love with a redhead.

Holly Ringland

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

i don’t know… i don’t know! i can’t pick my favourite ‘bit… i snorted with laughter at the hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia retort. i skipped through all the ways and moments this poor poor bastard shrunk away from red (you’re killing me here my girl of bells) and postively beamed (there was clapping) when i reached the end. whatever was in the sushi – we love it. if this is a product of the sushi, we love the sushi! my oh my, my jelly bean… how bloody crackerjack snapping hot you are at humour and irony… who ever knew that the growl could give way to such a warm and endearing cheekiness? me. ha! i knew. oh cripes, bell. i just LOVE this my girl. LOVE.
bellmusker replied

Darling Tommy, food poisoning has kept me tethered to my flat all weekend, and several pieces are the result. Don’t quite know where this came from! But imagine, a life without red….sweet jesus, what would be the point? I couldn’t gaze in admiration at your sublime ruby lipstick, for one! So glad to make you laugh, sweetheart x x
Holly Ringland

p.s. Luposlipaphobia — the fear of being pursued by timber wolves around a kitchen table while wearing socks on a newly-waxed floor – can we PLEASE talk about this over our next honey martini? bags not being the first to snort honey up her nose with the giggles…
bellmusker replied

Isn’t this majestic! I snorted peppermint tea out my nose when I read that. You can thank Gary Larson, the cartoonist, for that one. He’s also responsible for possibly the best phobia I’ve ever come across, antidaephobia: the fear that somehow, somewhere….a duck is watching you.
aglaia b

i loved it bell!
and all your phobia words too.
for you
;-) xox
bellmusker replied

How I love your little musical gifts! He don’t know what he’s missing indeed. Thanks babe! x
amanda marx

very cool . . . loved this so much, so quirky & original . . . made me snort my honey & milk out my nose . . . very uncoool
cheers sweetie
xXx
bellmusker replied

Snorting is never uncool, Amanda! Just shows a healthy lust for life, hehe. Thanks so much x
Alex Brown

hello, this is AMAZING and i love it. fantastic writing :D
bellmusker replied

Hey, where you been?! Wonderful to hear from you, and see you peeking in on my writing…..hope all is well in your world.
sandraellen

This was a wonder FULL read…...love it!
So, food poisoning is key for writers block, hey?
I’m desperate, not sure i’m THAT desperate. :))
sandra xx
bellmusker replied

Sandra, I don’t recommend it! I’ll never look at sushi the same way again…..but my fingers have released all kinds of story imps and rascals this weekend, and I couldn’t ask for more x
PJ Ryan

brilliant story bell .. Trust him to fall in love with a redhead ... beautiful bow tie at the end x
bellmusker replied

Redheads are always worth it, my girl! x
Enivea

LOL!!!!! I went from snorts to chuckles to raucous cackles – and I hadn’t made it past the third paragraph! Your suffering has transformed into my delight!! Thank you :-)))
bellmusker replied

Thank you! What more could I ask for than to bring laughter to my friends…..well, a weekend without becoming intimately acquainted with my bathroom floor would’ve been sweet too :-)
Alex Brown

all is well.. i moved out and only recently returned to full time activity on the internet, so been catching up on things.been a little up and down in my moods with my lack of achievement in life but am coming to terms with it. having writers block is a pain in the rear as well as photography block and lack of will to get going. but have discovered a heap of my friends either want to photograph with me or be models within my photos, so am getting back on track with life and all that. have been unmotivated and not driven with my work situation but that also is on track! so i can return to the bubble fully and yeah! that was a rant and a half, and i am sure that you dont want all of that in your comments section :D

P.S. i will go back and read all that i have missed over the next fwe weeks. i promise :D
bellmusker replied

Welcome back! I know you mentioned your internet access would be restricted, so I’ve just been waiting til you pop your head back in. Throw yourself into creative endeavours sweetheart – take those friends up on their offers – one step is all it takes to unlock the gates :-)
jemimalovesbigted

HAHAHAHAAHA! what a freak. How could you hate red? it is the most feeling colour in the spectrum, tinged with passion, pain and pleasure.

This was sensational Bell. Loved it to bits.
bellmusker replied

I’m with you there! It’s the colour of sensuality – hell, the colour of life if you ask me. But phobias aren’t so much hate as pure unadulterated fear, and they know no logic. I’m terrified of crumpets, for one, so who am I to speak? :-)
Pip Gerard

light and fun. so very enjoyable to read.
I hope the guys at Red read this… it’s just the perfect Red Bubble writing!!!

btw – why not simple terms like Redophobia, wordophobia, sleepophobia, bigwordophobia (it would just make it so much easier for everyone) :D
bellmusker replied

Pip, imagine a life like this – no Red Bubble. The horror! :-0
tracyxkeema

belle you’re just amazing, your writing is incredible, your sensitivity, wit and imagination are almost other-worldly, you’re my hero, take care x
bellmusker replied

Tracy, this comment made me choke on my coffee this morning….what a sublimely lovely thing to write! Thank you, so much. x
Miau

very well written, as always. oh, to be afraid of red! that would indeed be awful. particularly loved the ending – made me laugh so loudly that i scared the cat out of the room
bellmusker replied

I hope the cat forgives me, but this had to come out, hehe. Thanks!
skinnyman

not enough humour on redbubble. This goes a long way to redress the balance. Love it.
bellmusker replied

Thank you! I was initially more interested in the phobic mind, but it turned into a more indulgent, light hearted piece. Glad you enjoyed it :-)
Paul Louis Vil...

You’re just so good I’m beginning to have a phobia about reading such amazing work! Is there such a thing? Scribeaphobic? hehe! ;p
I was jumping ahead of myself just to read the next line.
I was lost in your moment and then zapped into consciousness by your face slapping ending!
bellmusker replied

Thanks Paul! As for the ending, well, don’t you know that a redhead can cure all ills? :-)
Lisa Jewell

Exceptional writing Bell…I was thinking about the possible ending and yep there it was…

I love how you educate through your writing….your ability to de-stigmatise phobias’ and mental illness is one of your gifts…

Love this xxx
bellmusker replied

Your ability to de-stigmatise phobias and mental illness is one of your gifts
Babe, this is such a beautiful thing to say to me, and you know it. Thank you so much x x
Leith O'Malley

Bellmuskobia – The fear of missing one of her redbubble installments..
Red indeed :)
bellmusker replied

Leith, you just made miso soup snort out my nose…...priceless!
Selkie

Heh…wonderful writing :)
bellmusker replied

Thanks Selkie…..just a little something to get the week started!
Laurie McClave

I would wither without red!!!!
what a pale world that would be! :)xx
bellmusker replied

I know babe, me too…...if you were to see my cosy flat, you’d see what I mean….right down to your poster above my bed! x
Doug Greenwald

Perfect.
bellmusker replied

Thanks Doug, much appreciated :-)
awdigitaldreams

snorting lady grey tea out of my nose about the duck and gary larsen – great write!!!!
bellmusker replied

Thanks! That man has a lot to answer for…and the best phobias!
Doug Greenwald

Read through the comments…

I’ll third the notion that redheads are the cure for what ails ya :-)
bellmusker replied

Oh amen to that. Can I give you a gentle nudge in this direction then, Doug? :-)
Steve Strodder...

heartbreaking! Oh bell the webs you weave with your inky syllables are truly mesmerizing.
bellmusker replied

Inky syllables are my favourite, Steve x
Paul Compton

Stunningly gorgeous Bell. Oh, I’m swooning :)
bellmusker replied

Thanks Paul, always good to read your lovely comments! My muse got frisky all of a sudden with this piece…..damn, I love when that happens :-)
anya

(handing you, and all of your fans, little wipes to clean up your keyboards. I’ve counted snorted miso soup, peppermint tea, whiskey – that was me – lady grey tea and other assortments.)

Bell, lady of Red. I like very much. I expect this to be read out at the next meet.
bellmusker replied

Bell, lady of Red. I like very much. I expect this to be read out at the next meet
Consider it done – in your visiting honour!
natapee

fantastic read and so full of humour. though I was struck by how debilitating such a phobia would be, for one he wouldn’t be able to get near this website would he!!! how awful!!
bellmusker replied

I know Nat – I’m still stuck on the fact he couldn’t drink red wine! But it seriously would be totally debilitating, and I don’t mean to take the edge off that at all. Anxiety is a vicious mistress, as I’ve known well. But try as I might, I can’t quite see the threat of Santa…..thanks Nat!
Alex McAughey

Brilliant. Couldn’t stop thinking what it would be like having a phobia of any colour. Although I don’t like purple!
bellmusker replied

Thanks! I have to admit I have a pure unadulterated hatred of pink. It’s not quite a phobia as it doesn’t cause anxiety: just makes my stomach churn and my fists clench. I literally cannot be near someone wearing it, cannot buy anything with pink packaging, won’t walk into a shop with pink decor…...my friends tease me relentlessly but hey, what can I do? At least that makes sense – pink is evil – but who could doubt the beauty of red?! :-)
mstrace

I get a heart murmur every time I read the words you string together on the virtual page. Literally. The old ticker skips a beat and then while reading, settles in nicely for a brilliant ride.

Red is the color of courage, passion, love, heat, sacrifice, restructuring, power…and of release. Red is the color of meaning. It is the color of Bell.
bellmusker replied

Two weeks, my girl! Two weeks until we’re side by side, strutting through the streets of California…..and I will read you this one, with a martini :-)
Leda D

this is FANTASTIC! i love it sooooo much. a fave for sure. i have some silly phobias but it would be awful to have a phobia of something that you cant escape.
bellmusker replied

I know, my heart aches for him…...well, it would if he actually existed! :-) Some phobias would be insurmountably awful to deal with though, I agree. Thanks for this!
bearpaw

absolutely sublime and divine Bell xo
bellmusker replied

Thank you sweetheart x
charliethetramp

but gentlemen do prefer blondes?,ever considered peroxide as an alternative,just a thought hope i don`t get pilloried for it
,pin your hopes to the bell of the mask,what a wonderfull elaborating story,full of humour and vigor ,like it alot like i do all of your work
bellmusker replied

but gentlemen do prefer blondes?
Ah but that’s the point, charlie…...I’m not interested in gentlemen ;-)

Thanks for the compliment, I’ll keep the words coming!
Ash Sievwright

“dirtiest laugh this side of Tulsa”
Why Tulsa? Why this description? What does it mean? Who is laughing over there? And why are they the dirtiest? I love these bits in your writing. Those lovely unexpected references. They’re the bits that jump out at me.
Ax
bellmusker replied

Hehe, I have no idea where that came from, but I loved it the moment it fell out of my pen!

Actually, I wrote this enjoying some late afternoon sunshine at The Retreat in Brunswick, after a nasty bout of food poisoning had locked me in the flat all weekend. The Retreat being the classic cowboy pub it is – god bless its banjo strings – was probably playing some twanging country music that put me in mind of Tulsa…..at least, that’s the story I’ll stick to! Cheers Ash, love your comments :-)
nadine henley

fantastic, bell! love the line about the sick bastard. Don’t know how I missed this one!
bellmusker replied

Thanks Nadine! I started researching phobias for this and got completely caught up in them…..what a curious part of the human psyche. But yeah, the people who name them have a lot to answer for :-)
MichaelCouacaud

great writing.
kossimarsalsa 22 days ago

Gorgeous story, the build of is lovely and the ending is a wonderfully sweet twist. Pleasure to read!

xx
s-a
bellmusker replied 22 days ago

Thanks so much! Can you imagine a worse fate than this poor soul…..but if anyone can cure him, it’d have to be a redhead :-)
kossimarsalsa 22 days ago

Oh of course, I’m sure such a lovely lady could cure a man of a terrible affliction!