I never used to blink much
they said it was the pills, but really
the bells of the world couldn’t ring loudly enough
to engage a reaction from me
didn’t flinch, didn’t blink, but I excelled
at rocking back and forth
I never used to eat blue vein cheese
I’d hold it in my hand in the market aisle, yes,
and pretend I was bold
but I was raised on cheddar, and really,
you become used to wearing your shame
at the checkout.
I never used to wear heels
trust issues, I’d mutter, as I tugged at the laces
of my weathered army boots
keeping my roots tethered to the ground
while my mind tried to flee
and my gait often stumbled
I didn’t listen to the blues
I felt them, but I sang my angst
with the venom and snarl
of punk’s black little heart
instead of the aching beauty
of the blues’ tender soul
And I never drank whiskey
I’d pour the Southern Comfort and pretend
that the smell didn’t make me gag
that I had Janis Joplin’s swagger
instead of a little girl’s fear
at what was becoming of her
And now
I see myself through your eyes
swivelling on my stool
stilettos tapping
to the slide guitar
washing blue vein cheese
down with whiskey
and greeting the world and its wonders
with a wink.
© bellmusker 2008
tether my roots with blue
Encouraged by the sublime writers at the Melbourne Writers’ Meeting today…...
I see myself through your eyes
Nicole Ryan, 2 months ago
bell i love love LOVE this so much !!
butchart, 2 months ago
wow belle…. i’m so glad you ate the cheese…..... isn’t it wonderful to be set free from your old self? thank you for this…..........b
bellmusker in reply to Nicole Ryan’s comment, 2 months ago
Thank you sweetheart! I read this at the writers’ meeting today and though I almost deleted it, I was pretty much ordered to post it by the strong arms and loving hearts of the writers present. As always, I take their advice to heart – and a deep breath – and bring it to the bubble, and see what arises.
So where where WHERE were you????
bellmusker in reply to butchart’s comment, 2 months ago
Thank you!! I just can’t get enough of blue vein now….and the slow burn of whiskey….and the gorgeous ache of the blues…..’tis indeed glorious to be set free.
Nicole Ryan, 2 months ago
LOL you wrote this before you got my bm
i really think this is such a superb piece of writing .. i can’t imagine it being deleted .. it’s incredibly strong .. poetic .. raw .. inspirational.
Can’t wait to meet you all .. was kicking myself today .. gotta get organised !!
xx
Jessica Tremp, 2 months ago
o.k. i’ll leave my comment in writing this time for you…this almost makes me want to vomit it is so good
Laurie McClave, 2 months ago
Ohh Bell you always do it for me lovey! Love the way you turn things around by the bottom of the page! glad you posted xx L
Metamorphosis, 2 months ago
Belle this is incredible, i feel very privliged to have heard it and to see it here… thank you for sharing your beauty & freedom…
Yasemin Sumner, 2 months ago
This scratches something very deep and wonderful, Belle, and the joyous wink at the ending sets something free. I am so glad you posted this. And I love that I can hear your voice reading it with such strength and passionate resonance.
ladytreedesigns, 2 months ago
I have a son who is a punk and an ex who was and this gives me both insight and hope, thankyou xx
Mummified
,
2 months ago
yup – great stuff Belle. :-)
mick8585, 2 months ago
often wore my shame at the checkout …..
Regardless…... life is good you see.
I love scotch (more expensive the better) mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmblack label Johnny MMMM
bellmusker in reply to mick8585’s comment, 2 months ago
Ah, so shameful when you want to slam down exotic wares likes truffle oil and pecorino wedges, yet you sidle up with a packet of Kraft slices and a bottle of Ribena…...but yes, life is good, and amazing how it improves when you can wash your sorrows down with the burn of black label scotch! I sense a session at the next writers’ meeting, Mick…
Luckyvegetable, 2 months ago
I never really know what to write when something I read affects me as much as this has. My response has something like a huge grin, and a triumphant yell to it, though, so I hope knowing that gives you some idea as to how much I love it =)
MickyMc, 2 months ago
A really enjoyable, powerful, and great piece of writing; thank you for sharing this.
Cheers
Micky
JessysGirl08, 2 months ago
Nicceeee..!. :)
incaalpaca, 2 months ago
excellent how you brought the tempo to a crescendo in a beautiful finale of freedom and spirit