We’d noticed a very ‘sleepy’ bunny laying in our yard a few days ago. Naturally, when we walked up and saw the glazed over eye; we knew it wasn’t sleeping (well, not in terms of beauty sleep, at least). I, stupidly, mentioned that we should do a funeral for the bunny. I remembered when I was five, that a bird had flown into our window and died. I was heartbroken and placed it in a shoebox for burial (but, I think I got distracted by a lightening bug). I’m not sure, but, I think that was also the day I got poison ivy.
In any case, it had been about 3 days (yeah, don’t wait 3 days to bury ANYTHING) and the neighborhood kids were getting antsy about getting this bunny buried. So, I got the biggest box I could find (which belonged to my Manolo Blahnik’s!!). We proceeded to decorate it with colorful construction paper, which made it look more like a present than a casket… so, we cut out a ‘bunny head’ (in black, of course! out of construction paper, for all of you, with twisted minds) and pasted it to the top. Roses were placed inside the box, to make, a soft bed for the bunny (the thorns were still on the roses, so I doubt it would’ve been too comfortable).
Then, the fun part… get the bunny. Somehow, I was delegated this job. Well, the smell alone was enough to make me rethink the whole idea… and, the flies… well, I guess you don’t need to hear all the gory details… you know, like about the maggots and stuff. Surprisingly, he was still soft (with the exception of his feet)... ok, more details I’m sure you didn’t need. Into the box he went. His little stiff feet sticking into up to heaven. Placing the lid on, we decided to use ribbon to tie the box shut (his feet were pushing against the lid… creating… well, let’s just say we wanted that lid closed TIGHTLY). After tying the box with ribbon; we (or I should say “I”) carried the little box into the backyard (gag, gag, gag… the wind was blowing right into my face) where a little grave awaited. Oh, I should mention that Febreeze was brought… you know, to help cut down on the odor. (I’m not sure Febreeze is intended for that STRENGTH of odor).
The neighborhood kids came, in black (how hysterical is that?!)... and, with a somber procession we started the funeral. Ian, Tamme’s little boy, began the eulogy. “He was a nice bunny…. a little bunny…..”. He did an outstanding job, considering we didn’t really know the bunny all that well. And, his sister, brought the music. “Let It Be” (by the Beatles) played while we all stared down at the little coffin; our mouths and noses covered tightly by our hands. Naturally, it was a closed casket funeral. After, the music ended, the children all threw handfuls of dirt into the grave.
Luckily, the boys were excellent grave diggers/ fillers and limbs were nearly lost while they flung their shovels about. The rest of us all watched (occasionally, yelling at them to be careful, damn it!!) and tried to get the smell of rotting bunny out of our noses.
It was a beautiful ceremony. I just hope our bullmastiff doesn’t decide to dig it up… he’s always on the look for a new chew toy.
Tamme Marshall, 4 months ago
This would be hilarious – IF I hadn’t actually lived through it!!! I can still smell the bunny!!! EEEEWWWWW!!!
Jen Wahl in reply to Tamme Marshall’s comment, 4 months ago
Me too!! gag!!!!!!!!!!!! REALLY wish I could get the image of the maggots out of my mind too… ick…I just threw up in my mouth…
Urban Umbra, 4 months ago
lol…a nice dark story, you really bring it to life…I can imagine your doggy dragging the bunny carcass to the breakfast table…I can smell it from here :<))
Jen Wahl in reply to Urban Umbra’s comment, 4 months ago
I bet you can smell it!! lol… I’m about to spray lysol in my nose to get rid of the smell…. hmmmm…. wonder what the lingering affects of that might be…. lol
Bev Woodman, 4 months ago
A wonderful story Jen – the innocence of children! You all thought you were doing the bunny a good deed and you did. Oh how I enjoyed this story and am not too old to still relate to similar incidents that I did or my children did whilst growing up. wonderful story, wonderful years, wonderful memories….......thanks for sharing!
Jen Wahl in reply to Bev Woodman’s comment, 4 months ago
lol… I’m happy you liked it! I’m not sure I’ll be “allowed” to bury anything else in our yard… so, this was really worth it!
Bev Woodman, 4 months ago
You were lucky the dog didn’t dig it up – you must have buried him nice and deep. This was a nice start to the day – a good chuckle (its morning here).
Floralynne, 4 months ago
OMG….still wiping away tears. Tears of laughter. What we mothers do to teach kids about life and death.
The trick to stop doggy digging is to lay a layer of wire mesh (heavy gage for a mastiff…LOL) just over the coffin and cover it with dirt. We learnt that trick after finding a previous dog disinterred by the one following…..ugghh!
I must relate our budgie’s funeral. Poor Buddy looked sick so we took him to the Vet. The Vet reached in and pulled him out of the cage only to have Buddy throw himself backwards in the Vet’s hand and die! He did it with all the dramatics and aplomb of an Academy Award winning performance. The look on the Vet’s face was priceless. He looked at the tears welling up in my son’s eyes and ran out of the room….do they have ‘crash carts’ for budgies?
Anyway Buddy was sadly brought home for burial, wrapped in papertowel and a bright red plastic bag. WE planned the funeral but life got in the way with a busy week. Buddy resided meanwhile in a door shelf of our big freezer.
6 months later, when the freezer badly needed defrosting, I found a red plastic wrapped parcel buried under frozen chicken necks for the dogs. What the heck was this I thought…only to discover Buddy, still waiting a decent burial. Oooops!
Buddy now resides somewhere in landfill.
Yes…....I interred him in the bin. :)
Zolton, 4 months ago
Hilarious… I mean sad. : (
Glad I didn’t find the bunny. How nice of you and your friends to pay it such a tribute. Reminded me of when my first hamster died. Poor Muffy.
Jen Wahl in reply to Floralynne’s comment, 4 months ago
LOL!! Poor little Buddy! I can see why he went in the bin… I tried to imagine what it might be like to get a frozen anything out of a bag… ewww. “Crash carts for budgies”.... priceless. I laughed so hard when I read that. At least, he went out in all his glory… did he stagger from side to side with one wing held up to his eyes? lol
Thanks for the tip on the wire mesh… but, it’s too late now. Henry (our drooling beast) has a kennel… hopefully, he’ll never get a chance to give his own “eulogy” for the bunny. It would go something like, “yum! yum! yum!”... followed by buckets of drool.
Thanks for sharing your story it gave me a great laugh! (well, except for the cannibal dog thing)... LOL ;D
Jen Wahl in reply to Bev Woodman’s comment, 4 months ago
So happy I could give you a chuckle. ;D I love to put a smile on someone’s face… well, unless they’ve pissed me off… then ‘NO SMILE FOR YOU!!’. ;D If Henry ever digs up that bunny…. you’ll hear me screaming from across the pond.
Jen Wahl in reply to Zolton’s comment, 4 months ago
thanks for reading it, Zolton. ;D It was pretty funny… I mean, sad (just in case any of the kids read this!).
Floralynne, 4 months ago
Jen….glad you got a laugh out of my funeral story too. Hopefully it made you stop thinking about ‘bunny smell’ for a while. Poor Buddy….he did a ‘swan dive’ in the Vet’s hand, his head slowly fell back, wings outstretched and he gently closed his eyes….not quite as dramatic as staggering from side to side…LOL!
Don’t worry …..there was no cannibalism with the dog. Nothing left but bones fortunately, which our then young German Shepherd had happily strewn around the yard. He did look pleased with himself too. I do remember now that we put quick set concrete over the cat…as this dog should have been a ‘cadaver dog’. :)
Christopher E...
,
4 months ago
lol this is great on both accounts, specially about the part of them chosing ..let it be, as the song to be played. other then wanting to hold your nose, how could you have kept a straight face.lol
and..umma..had you not waited 3days to bury that poor thing..the smell might not have been as bad? lol
great story.lol
Jen Wahl in reply to Christopher Ewing’s comment, 4 months ago
LOL… yes, I got to be really good at walking by the bunny and pretending it wasn’t there. The day we finally buried it… the kids (I didn’t know they were doing this) turned it over (to try and do a visual autopsy) and, my 3 year old comes running in the house yelling, “It smells REALLY, REALLY bad!!”.
Natella2020, 4 months ago
This is hysterical, I can’t believe I missed out on such a wonderful tale. Kids just amaze you sometimes.
Jen Wahl in reply to Natella2020’s comment, 4 months ago
lol… thanks, Natella. Yes, I am always amazed by the imaginations of children… their honesty and innocence. ;o)