Rhana Griffin

Mark German, 3 months ago

WTF?
;)

Deidre Cripwell, 3 months ago

Very funny – guess your day was a waste of makeup?

Rhana Griffin in reply to Mark German’s comment, 3 months ago

Yeah… WTF exactly ;) I hate it when that happens hehehe

How come you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?

Rhana Griffin in reply to Deidre Cripwell’s comment, 3 months ago

Well… I’m guessing it WOULD have been… had I actually been bothered to put make up on ;)

Why do we wash behind our ears? Who ever looks there anyways?

Paul Vanzella, 3 months ago

wow Rhana – where can we see you live!!!?

Rhana Griffin in reply to Paul Vanzella’s comment, 3 months ago

Live? See there’s another one… Why do bars advertise live entertainment? What does dead entertainment sound like?

Irene Burdell, 3 months ago

You should read a few of mine they will send you to sleep.

Deidre Cripwell, 3 months ago

Here are some more for you:

The only nice thing about being imperfect is the joy it brings others
Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said.
Jealousy is all the fun you think they had
Nothing bad can happen if you haven’t hit the Send key

Hope you feel better. And it anyone asks, just say you have PMS and a gun. Any more questions?

Rhana Griffin in reply to Irene Burdell’s comment, 3 months ago

Awwww Irene… {{{hugs}}} I just made some lovely Chai Tea… care for a cup?

If you have an open mind why don’t your brains fall out?

Rhana Griffin in reply to Deidre Cripwell’s comment, 3 months ago

Nothing bad can happen if you haven’t hit the Send key

Oh now THAT is bloody golden! Definately a keeper!!!

Deidre Cripwell, 3 months ago

I am sure that would have saved a lot of people a lot of trouble. And here is one last one but it needs a little explaing.

Working shifts a couple of years ago, I was late coming into the office the next morning. When the Project Engineer wanted to know where I was I told him that the voices in my head told me to clean the guns. Needless to say, for the rest of the day he was wary of me

Rhana Griffin in reply to Deidre Cripwell’s comment, 3 months ago

PMPL!!! Please may I use that one… oh please please PLEASE???

If there is a man talking in a forest and there isn’t a woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?

Julie Langford, 3 months ago

the world is full ot it Rhana – Why do we have to hit start on the computer – to turn it off?

LOL – you need some sleep girl :)

Rhana Griffin in reply to Julie Langford’s comment, 3 months ago

I agree Julie… I need to excercise that little star button myself ;)

If a cat always lands on its feet, and buttered bread always lands butter side down, what would happen if you tied buttered bread on top of a cat?

Deidre Cripwell, 3 months ago

You are more than welcome to use it – it is sure to get people of your back in a hurry

Julie Langford, 3 months ago

If you can kill two birds with one stone – Does it mean you can kill a flock with a handful of chippings?

Rhana Griffin in reply to Julie Langford’s comment, 3 months ago

Bwahahahahaaaaaaaa!!!!!!

If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose?

Julie Langford, 3 months ago

and one that always gets me Rhana [this is sad, youve got me at this too now] – Birds of a feather stick together – Hmmmm, WTF is that about – dont they all have feathers then?

Rhana Griffin in reply to Julie Langford’s comment, 3 months ago

And its MORNING there for you!!! (laughs)

Why can’t you grow birds if you plant birdseed?

Julie Langford, 3 months ago

LMAO – and why do people think that hot milk will put you to sleep – cold milk is the same stuff?

Rhana Griffin in reply to Julie Langford’s comment, 3 months ago

HEY! I was going for the hot milk ya know!!!! (laughs)
Why do they call it “getting your dog fixed” if afterwards it doesn’t work anymore?

Lucindawind, 3 months ago

lol you are too funny my dear

Irene Burdell, 3 months ago

Her’s one Rhana , A bird in the hand Sh—-s on the wrist.

Julie Langford, 3 months ago

Ok Rhana – my attempt to help you sleep [or freak you out completely]

Think of a number [any number] – dont tell me what it is

Tell me when youre ready to move on

Rhana Griffin in reply to Lucindawind’s comment, 3 months ago

this is what happens when I get mentally fried… you should see what happens when I get bored!!!

Rhana Griffin in reply to Irene Burdell’s comment, 3 months ago

Oooooh… Irene… you is NASTY!!! I loves it!!!

Rhana Griffin in reply to Julie Langford’s comment, 3 months ago

ok… ready

(I’m a little nervous)

Julie Langford, 3 months ago

double it

Tell me when youre ready

Rhana Griffin in reply to Julie Langford’s comment, 3 months ago

ok…. ready

(this is creeping me out a little)

Julie Langford, 3 months ago

lol – ok add 8

Tell me when youre ready

Rhana Griffin in reply to Julie Langford’s comment, 3 months ago

Shit… can I borrow your fingers? I’ve run out of mine ;)

Ok… ready

Irene Burdell, 3 months ago

Go and have a look at some of my writings .
You will like the Double Ententre’s.

Julie Langford, 3 months ago

Ok – divide it by 2

Tell me when youre ready

Rhana Griffin, 3 months ago

ok…

getting sleeeeeepy ;)

And need to pee.

Julie Langford, 3 months ago

Now – whatever number you have arrived at – you need to find a letter in the alphabet that corresponds with it

eg

1 = A
2 = B
3 = C
4 = D
5 = E
6 = F

and so on. If you number is higher than 26, just repeat through the alphabet again – find your letter, dont tell me what it is, and think of a mammal starting with that letter

Let me know when youre ready

Julie Langford, 3 months ago

Opps – made a boob – think of a country starting with that letter, not a mammal

Rhana Griffin in reply to Julie Langford’s comment, 3 months ago

Uraguay…. I think ;)

Julie Langford, 3 months ago

LMAO – start again

Julie Langford, 3 months ago

and youre not supposed to give me any of your answers lol

Rhana Griffin, 3 months ago

NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! I did it right!!! I know I did! I just double checked ;)

Rhana Griffin in reply to Julie Langford’s comment, 3 months ago

Ummm… actually… I fucked it up. Hold on

Rhana Griffin in reply to Julie Langford’s comment, 3 months ago

Ok… Germany

Rhana Griffin in reply to Julie Langford’s comment, 3 months ago

and youre not supposed to give me any of your answers lol

Oh SHIT!!! Ok… starting again… lol

Rhana Griffin in reply to Julie Langford’s comment, 3 months ago

Ok… I’m right now (zips lips)

Julie Langford, 3 months ago

LOL – so did I rhana
Let me type it again for you
Think of a number
Double it
Add 8
Divide it by 2
Take away the number you originally thought of
find a letter corrsponding to the number you have arrived at
think of a country starting with that lettter

Let me know when you are ready

Rhana Griffin in reply to Julie Langford’s comment, 3 months ago

Pissing myself laughing here… ok… ready.

Julie Langford, 3 months ago

lol ok

Now – take the second letter of that country

Think of a mammal startting with that letter

Let me know when youre ready – but dont give me your answers

Rhana Griffin in reply to Julie Langford’s comment, 3 months ago

Yep… ready… got hubby in helping me now (laughs)

Rhana Griffin, 3 months ago

You’re just messing with my head here aren’t you? Ebil wench ;)

Julie Langford, 3 months ago

Ok – close your eyes – picture that mammal, walking across that country for two minutes while I prepare a question for you.

Come back in two minutes and let me know that you want the question – dont tell me your picture though

Rhana Griffin, 3 months ago

Oh yeah….. soooooooo messing with me…. ok, picturing. Back in two minutes.

Rhana Griffin in reply to Julie Langford’s comment, 3 months ago

Two minutes up yet? I’m done =)

Julie Langford, 3 months ago

Why is that, that people who cannot sleep, or have pure minds – start thinking of mammals and countries? More specifically – why do they think that there are elephants in Denmark?

Rhana Griffin in reply to Julie Langford’s comment, 3 months ago

Oh

My

Fucking

God

Did you hear my jaw hit the keyboard just then?

How the BLOODY hell did you do that woman?

Julie Langford, 3 months ago

lol
ok – so it didnt make you sleep?

Rhana Griffin in reply to Julie Langford’s comment, 3 months ago

No damnit! I’m wide-a-fucking-wake now trying to figure out how you did that!!!!

Julie Langford, 3 months ago

hehe – I will bubblemail you the solution

Rhana Griffin in reply to Julie Langford’s comment, 3 months ago

many thanks darlin… THEN I will be able to sleep ;)

Irish, 3 months ago

Very Funny…..things that make ya go Hmmmmmm….lol

clarkey, 3 months ago

LOL, I haven’t seen these written down in ages.

Why do you close your eyes when you sneeze?

If it wasn’t for the last minutes, nothing would get done!!!

Sleep well, Rhana, sweet dreams.

Simon Gladwin, 3 months ago

Can blue men sing the whites?

Andrew Bosman, 3 months ago

Why do people press the button 15 times at traffic lights when once is enough. Better still, why do people prees it when they have just seen someone else do it?

Rhana Griffin in reply to clarkey’s comment, 3 months ago

(smiles) I DID sleep well Jan… Slept IN in fact ;)

Isn’t Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?

Rhana Griffin in reply to Irish’s comment, 3 months ago

Funny? Oh yeah… another thing… why do they call it a funny bone? It bloody HURTS when you bang it!

Rhana Griffin in reply to Simon Gladwin’s comment, 3 months ago

Can mute people burp?

Rhana Griffin in reply to Andrew Bosman’s comment, 3 months ago

Why? Because they are IDIOTS Boz!

If people from Poland are called Poles, shouldn’t people from Holland be called Holes? (insert cheeky grin here)

Simon Gladwin, 3 months ago

When you see a dog out walking…..where is it going?

Geoff Coleman, 3 months ago

Love your insomniac musings Rhana – nothing like the humour of quiet desperation.

clarkey, 3 months ago

Actually, I thought Disney World was a people trap operated by a Little black Duck with an Attitude (problem)!! LMAO

photos40, 3 months ago

People who lived on a farm will get this one…..
Why does it happen when you’re barefooted that poop on the ground goes in between your toes, & on your heel when you have shoes on??

Why is it when a plane crashes the thing that survives is The Little Black Box, Why not just build the plane out of the same stuff the Box is made of????

Why do you drive on a parkway & park in a driveway????

Does the light in the fridge really go off when you close the door?? We never know because we eat all the witnesses..

How can it be cold as hell one day & hot as hell the next???

Last question.
Why do they call out the whole fire department when a cat gets hung in a tree?? Cats are natural born climbers. How many Cat Skeletons have you ever seen in a tree????

Andrew Bosman, 3 months ago

Clearly it’s because Holland has two “Ls” and Poland only one.

Stuart Chapman, 3 months ago

Why is there an expiration date on SOUR cream?
For the same reason there is one on cheese. That is cream that’s even more sour!

What cruel bastard put the letter S in the word LISP?
The same bastard that put the letter 3 T’s in STUTTER!

What will happen to the cosmic fabric of the world if we discover that the hokey pokey really is what it’s all about?
What on earth is the hokey pokey? If it’s the hokey cokey then i’m sure the cosmic fabric of the world would find something to argue about it still. Is the left leg more important than the right arm or something like that.

“Cute as a button” Is that supposed to be a compliment? Since when are buttons cute?
Button noses on babies are cute, so I guess it comes from there. I mean it’s better than as cute as spinach or something like that so please be a bit more grateful.

Why is Donkey Kong called “DONKEY” Kong if he’s a monkey?
It just sounds better, I guess a large amount of caffiene or vimto intake led to the ultimate decision. Somewhere on a parellel universe someone’s playing Monkey Kong with a Donkey as the lead character.

Why is Bra singular and Panties plural?
Because panties is such a fntastic word. Go on just keep saying it and tell me a smile doesn’t come to your face!

If you fed a bee nothing but oranges, would it start making marmalade?
I fed a bee nothing but cider once and it didn’t make anything. I’m sure the citric acid would have the same result as the alchohol. Some things are probably best just left behind closed lab doors.

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill themselves, is it considered a hostage situation?
No, technically they would need to issue demands. It would probably be just mass suicide.

What color is a chameleon on a mirror?
Easy – On a mirror, it would colour itself to blend in to the frame, so possibly brown or black (depending on your household interior). In a mirror it would still blend in to its surroundings as usual but you wouldn’t be able to see it twice.

If your feet smell and your nose runs, are you built upside down?
I don’t think anyone’s built. Some are created better than others. Judging by my answers above, someone has a lot of explaining to do when it comes to me. I want answers!

(p.s. Didn’t Radiohead once sing, troubled words of a troubled mind? Somehow that phrase has sprung to mind).

Stuart Chapman, 3 months ago

And for you:

What is the speed of dark?

When you’re sending someone Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?

Why are there Braille signs on drive-up ATM’s?

How come you never hear about gruntled employees?

What is a “free” gift? Aren’t all gifts free?

After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?

If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?

What’s another word for synonym?

When sign makers go on strike, what is written on their picket signs?

Where do forest rangers go to “get away from it all”?

Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?

How can there be self-help groups?

Why do you need a driver’s license to buy liquor when you can’t drink and drive?

Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

Why is it that when you transport something by car, its called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, its called cargo?

Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays?

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?

If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they make Teflon stick to the pan?

If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?

If you’re in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

Why isn’t “palindrome” spelled the same way backwards as it is forwards?

Why is it that when you’re driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

If someone invented instant water, what would they mix it with?

Why is it called a TV “set” when you only get one?

Why does an alarm clock “go off” when it begins ringing?

If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?

Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same?

Why call it a building if it’s already been built?

Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

How do you know when it’s time to tune your bagpipes?

Is it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny?

Does ‘virgin wool’ come from sheep the shepherd hasn’t caught yet?

If the front of your car says ‘DODGE’, do you really need a horn?

What do sheep count when they can’t get to sleep?

When you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?

Does fuzzy logic tickle?

Do blind Eskimos heave seeing-eye sled dogs?

How come wrong numbers are never busy?

Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?

How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

If it’s tourist season, why can’t we shoot them?

Is there another word for thesaurus?

Is the color orange called that because it’s the color of the fruit of the same name, or was the fruit called orange because that’s its color? Which came first, the color or the fruit?

If a mute swears, does his mother make him wash his hands with soap?

Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow, but only to be troubled and insecure?

Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?

Just before someone gets nervous, do they experience cocoons in their stomach?

It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Why is a pear called a pear when there is only one?

Why did God give men nipples?

Is grass really greener on the other side?

Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

Why is it called a “near miss” when you don’t hit something?

Before the light bulb was invented, what appeared over peoples heads when they had an idea?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Why does the word monosyllabic contain five syllables?

If you wear an antennae to a wedding, would the reception be better?

Why is abbreviated such a long word?

If you put a chameleon in a mirrored box what color would it change to? (That’s what you were meant to ask!)

Why do people point to their wrist when they want to know the time? Do I point to my crotch when I want to know where the bathroom is?

If you were scared half to death twice, would you be 3/4 dead or 100% dead?

If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

If you ate pasta and antipasti, would you still be hungry?

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest end up drowning as well?

What should you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?

If you asked a librarian where the books on self help were would they tell you, or would that defeat the purpose?

If ATM stands for Automatic Teller Machine, why do we call it an ATM machine? And if PIN stands for Personal Identification Number, why do we call it a PIN number?

Stuart Chapman, 3 months ago

Do you have any answers yet?

Rhana Griffin in reply to Stuart Chapman’s comment, 3 months ago

Nope… you have me whipped Mr Chapman. I humbly admit defeat :((

Stuart Chapman, 3 months ago

It is this one i’m most interested in

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?

I have been told that this is true.

Rhana Griffin in reply to Stuart Chapman’s comment, 3 months ago

The answer to that one is elementary dear Watson.
Of course he is!

Rhana Griffin in reply to Stuart Chapman’s comment, 3 months ago

The answer to that one is elementary dear Watson.
Of course he is!

Rhana Griffin, 3 months ago

AND whats more… I feel so strongly about that answer that I said it twice! =))

Stuart Chapman, 3 months ago

Did I mention you look lovely today (Am I wrong?)