There’s something bugging me and I want to put the record straight.
(Note: This is not based on fellow Redbubblers, you guys are awesome, I just need to rant)
Just because I don’t enjoy wearing clothes I’m uncomfortable in, shoes that make me want to amputate my toes and drinking so much I can’t remember falling down the stairs, doesn’t mean I don’t have fun. It’s just a different kind of fun.
The fact is I would much rather spend my free time at home (or my other home) with my husband and the three closest friends I have. I bet we have just as much fun as anyone enjoying a night out, only we’re warm, comfy and not being judged by everyone else. Plus when the hour is late and it’s time to sleep, there is the bonus of not having to wait for taxis and spend a fortune just to get to bed.
I use my leisure time exercising my imagination, having a laugh, occasionally shooting some Tequila (you know just to stay in character), rolling funny shaped dice, killing mythical beasts, reading comics about characters who have far more interesting lives and experiencing the closest thing to being a superhero as I’m ever going to get. I in no way feel I’m missing out on everything else.
To be told “you want to get out more” is rude and I say “No I don’t”. And why would I? ‘Out’ is full of people I don’t know, probably won’t like and have very little in common with. So what if I live in my imagination, what’s so great about the reality outside my front door?
Don’t get me wrong, once a year around Christmas I will have a go, I’ll put on my ‘socially acceptable’ going clothes and shoes and try and have that sort of fun. And yes there are moments I enjoy, but the majority of the time it’s a façade, I’m actually waiting until its late enough to go home without appearing a party pooper. Honestly I’m just not comfortable in that situation.
I understand people’s reactions; it can be difficult for me in social situations not of my choosing, everyone sharing stories of what they’ve been up to, everyone laughing about what they got up to at the weekend. And to be completely honest it can get a little lonely in those moments, but I try, I join as best as I can. Unfortunately me turning round with “my husband joined the evil group of magicians and quite frankly I want him off the team” tends to cause a contagious case of frowning all around.When it comes to my turn to share, it is likely to involve stories about a world nobody else understands. Comics, gaming, long since cancelled sci-fi shows, amongst the subjects I enthuse about. What I am grateful for is those moments when people make an effort to engage me in my topics, and I thank you. Yes I will go a little overboard, just a tad, because I have so much to share and I can only hope you learn a little something about who I am.
I spent my teenage years not knowing where I belonged, it wasn’t fun and it involved a lot of turmoil. Then I met my husband and his friends and I finally felt like I was home. For 14 years I have had three friends and my husband as a constant, to share my loves, interests and family with and they are all I need.
So if you find me sitting in a the corner reading a graphic novel, or jumping up and down in excitement about a comic hero coming to the big screen. I ask you not to feel sorry for me, or assume I am in some way missing out on a life. I have a happy life full of love and friendship. We all have common interests and I make an effort to engage you in these, so if I go a little left of target, smile, accept that it makes me happy and be my friend.
Plus, it would be boring if we were all the same.