No turning back, no hesitation. Just one step after another.
From the window I could see the sea rise, while surfers turned on the white foam and were enveloped by the smoky grey waves. I felt sea sick, as if the waves might bear down upon my fragile bones and turn the dust to chalky paste. The house was flimsy, it could have been made of paper and matchsticks. I could feel the swell of the sea, breath within the walls. That house was the fragile embrace around Ashman and I.
It hadn’t been a mistake to come here, I thought. A tiny beachside house in New Zealand. It was our place, to lick fish and chip grease from each other’s fingers, have faces get grainy from the salt air, to say our goodbyes to the cold sheets of
wind.
That night we climbed to the lighthouse, a colossus bearing imperiously over the matchbox town. At the very top of the cliffs we exhilarated ourselves peering over the edge as moonlight taunted ragged waves bellowing far, far, below.
We kissed. Lingering as one does to watch a bird in flight. A fleeting moment, seen only by you, gone before you can enjoy it. Our kisses were lemon pips that night; sweet and sharp but a promise of bitter fruit to come.
We sat by the silent giant of the lighthouse and thanked whoever had strewn shiny drawing pins across the indigo roof. We said thank you for every minute that our hands entwined, that love’s whispers rasped in our throats.
My Ashman slept. A pile of clothes, small enough for a child to outgrow, lay on the sand.
My body, a portrait of this vicious disease but my face showed each lemon pip kiss, angry word, drawing pin sky and bellowing wave. I had pushed these things inside me until it seemed my fabric would burst. Cold air pinched my rice paper skin. Thin, sweet, breakable.
The sun was just an infant that morning, and so, to me, it looked like everything was spun from golden thread. The light danced with the sea and spawned a thousand silver fish glimmering on the surface.
Hadn’t I lived each and every moment? Hadn’t I bitten down each precious morsel like a ravenous, frightened animal? Hadn’t I been free? Yes. I had been loved and I had something to walk away from and to long for.
Icy golden threads wrapped themselves around me and I laughed into the sea air. Hoping that someone would catch it on the wind and know what it was to hunger for every minute. No turning back, no hesitation, just one step after another. With shining eyes and fish and chip lips, I said goodbye, in the smoky grey waves.
checkma8
Mmmmmmmmmm nice
jpatient
Hi Kerry,
wow, I love this. The images are powerfully. I especially liked the ‘lemon kisses’. I can’t wait to read more! Also you might find this website helpful, www.literaturetraining.com. it advertises comps too. Thanks for telling me about this site. :)
Susanna Bennett
beautiful, your writing is brimming with imagery and colour. Atmospheric, lyrical, tender and charged.
wrabbit
You paint stories of amazing lyricism
wrabbit
Congrats you’re a deserving winner
Lee Wilde
Great writing. Congrats on being one of the In The Moment winners. Well deserved.
Susanna Bennett
Congratulations on a thoroughly deserved award. I felt it the first time I read it and again now, the writing, images and atmoshpere of this piece are exceptional. I look forward to reading more and more . . .
Lehane
Yes beautifully written and, to my mind, this is a “story” in the true sense of the term. Well deserved.
Jessica Tremp
just stunning
WesternDreamer
Written with such emotions… sure did enjoy reading this… would enjoy the rest of this novel you’ve begun here… ;~) As it sure sounds like a wonderful chapter from a well written book!! Very nicely done!!
David Haviland
Great imagery. Well done and congrats on the win.
olawunmi
This is very well written quite a story indeed… definitely a winner. I believe it is well deserved.
Damian
Wonderfully done, great to read.
ktowers
well deserved this is great
sunsetgirl
Well done! you can imagine what it’s like there by the sea.
Angus Beare
i like the title as much as anything.. reminds me of the south coast of England.. Brighton, Littlehampton.. especially this line:
“It was our place, to lick fish and chip grease from each other’s fingers, have faces get grainy from the salt air, to say our goodbyes to the cold sheets of
wind.”
makes me nostalgic
Beatnikgal replied
Angus, thank you. I grew up by the sea, albeit a much less beautiful one than the one I describe here, and it’s textures, sounds and smells will stay with me forever probably.
lianne
this is so incredibly beautiful – I can see why you are a winner! Tender, evocative – well done!
Beatnikgal replied
Thank you for your kind words Lianne, I’m so glad you enjoyed it :)
Melody Elizabeth B-R
this is a wonderful interpretation i love the images…...very powerful
Beatnikgal replied
Thank you Melody!
aysiawolf
how gorgeous to read …
just gorgeous
Beatnikgal replied
Thank you really it makes me really happy to know people have read (let alone enjoyed!) my writing :)
jonniejoejonson
Hey Kezz, it is the brother of Ashman… really nice writing… I wish I could have been inspired by your writing and put that more poeticly but… well done anyway.
Beatnikgal replied
Hey Cheers Jonty – nice to see you on here! Probably a great place to market mywdot…hope you’re well, upload some pics! Also search for Susie her link is above.
Riihele
Hei Kerry
Very good images and pictures of words and expressions.
Well done. Take good care. Rii :)
Himiona Grace
Hi, I read the first lines and I thought ‘shes from NZ’ (-: a great read
Beatnikgal replied
Hey Indiginz,
Yeah the protagonist is NZ but I am actually Scottish! I spent a blissful few months in NZ though and think it is pretty much perfect as a country goes :) Your art is wonderful by the way – reminds me of all the beauty of those islands…
Paul Compton
A great read. So expressive and beautifully handled. I love the ending too.
boydhao
Wow this is a great, wonderful piece of writing, almost like a piece of artwork – no questionning of this being a winner piece evidently. The imagery and the words used are extremely successful and beautiful. Greatly written!
Beatnikgal
Hey Bordhao, thank you for your kind comments – I can’t believe that people are still finding their way here a year later! I’m glad you enjoyed it.
Leda D
oh wow this is just fantastic. a fave for sure. now i feel like chips with lots of salt and a visit to the sea :P
Astoreth
wow…..this was such a deeply touching read….fantastic, I loved it!! xxxx
Beatnikgal
Thanks guys really appreciated!