The sweet anguish of forbidden love
sets my womb on fire
my imagination now captive
to the object of my desire
Like an addict, I replay
the fantasised consummation
to satiate my aching need
which only feeds the inferno
Visualising one scene after next
of how I’d love you
I quiver with anticipation
of a never to be connection
Dreaming of our first kiss
I drown in waves of sorrow
My chimera of fulfilment with you
must end tomorrow
When I can bear it no longer
I call on reason to save me
sober up my intoxicated mind
to move on, to forsake you
When reason fails to douse the fire
I bring out the big gun
my values leave no room for
our families’ destruction
Thus I wage the war of self-control
a sign of maturity, they say
but victory feels so hollow
I’d rather keep on burning
Del Millar
Yes this is a situation that can happen if there is something missing in a relationship, it is easy to feel fulfilled through another association and mistake the feeling of fulfilment for love.
Few would find all they need from one person. We can’t expect another to fulfil all our needs, and vice versa, impossible expectation. That is why it’s important to fill one’s creative life one’s self, and encourage those close to fulfil theirs[ or their hobby/ sport etc] and still appreciate the importance in each other’s life. It’s nice to feel a bond elsewhere, as long as kept in perspective, for in reality more is not likely to eventuate, and if reality is not kept in check, then forever wanting what one hasn’t got will corode. Better to want what one has already got, unless it’s intolerable.
It’s a great evocative writing beatak, very human, an experience of many, at some point in their lives, that many will relate to oxo
beatak replied
Thank you Del and I agree with you entirely. Its easy to fall into obsessions. Its interesting observing oneself do it. Its even better being eventually sober again. BTW – my first name is Beata