Children are our future - wheather we like it or not
Once again let me share what was in my morning mail – laugh or cry!
*The following questions were asked in last year’s GED examination.
These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)…………and they WILL breed.
Q. Name the four seasons.
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar
Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q. How is dew formed?
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q. What causes the tides in the oceans?
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight.
Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist upon?
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed.
Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.
Q. What are steroids?
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.(Shoot yourself now, there is little hope.)
Q.. What happens to your body as you age?
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental. (At least they get to travel!)
Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery (So true!)
Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A. Premature death.
Q. What is artificial insemination
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.
Q. How can you delay milk turning sour?
A. Keep it in the cow. (Simple, but brilliant.)
Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorized? (e.g. The abdomen.)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts – the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I,O,U..(WTF!)
Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie. (This person has a career in politics awaiting!)
Q. What does ‘varicose’ mean?
A. Nearby.
Q. What is the most common form of birth control?
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium. (That would work.)
Q. Give the meaning of the term ‘Cesarean section’.
A. The Cesarean section is a district in Rome .
Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit!)
Q. What is a terminal illness?
A. When you are sick at the airport.(Irrefutable!)
Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like tiny umbrellas.
Q. Use the word ‘judicious’ in a sentence to show you understand its meaning.
A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. (OMG)
Q. What does the word ‘benign’ mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight. (Brilliant)
Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head
Comments
ROFL!!! Fabulous. At least they’ve got imagination. Not all hope is lost… ;-)
LOL – I thought they were priceless answers – glad you enjoyed it ;o)
– ✿⊱╮Kira Bodensted
Hehehe spitting coffee all over my poor computer!!!!!!!!!!!
LOL – this – “What is a seizure?” – is what cracked me up.:o)
– ✿⊱╮Kira Bodensted
Am laughing though scared too!
I know what you mean :o))
– ✿⊱╮Kira Bodensted
God help us all, lol.
I wouldn’t count on that :o)
– ✿⊱╮Kira Bodensted
it is good to start my day laughing. too funny, but very scarey
Oh yes :o)
– ✿⊱╮Kira Bodensted
Laughed out loudly :))) have my hopes that this is a collection and not the average knowledge. If so….. it is creative for sure XD
I share your hopes Patjila :o))
– ✿⊱╮Kira Bodensted
The really scary part (aside from the thought of them passing on their DNA) is that the people who gave those answers know just enough to survive and thrive. They will become CEOs of large corporations or run meth labs in their kitchens.
I believe you!- and I was thinking of you reading through this.
I know it’s no consolation but they could just as easily have been Danish!
– ✿⊱╮Kira Bodensted
Humor found where there is none. There is hope. And then there is living hope!
They all passed the test. And should get a degree in how to not seriously fail!
bdazzled! this is great!
Thank you for the thoughtful comment and the fav C.C. much appreciated :o)
– ✿⊱╮Kira Bodensted
OMG – thank you thank you for giving me a laugh (trying hard NOT to think of the serious implications of this though…)
K x
I know what you mean – thank you Kallena for reading :o)
– ✿⊱╮Kira Bodensted
Help!,…I can not laughing,….I like the part about them voting,..that`s the vote Obama is out there trying to get,..The well educated one`s,….This is so funny,..but very sad at the some time,…And the teacher union`s want`s us to give more money to the school.,…..So very,very sad,…God help us,…
Hi John
I’m pleased that you got a chuckle out of this :o)
– ✿⊱╮Kira Bodensted