On October 9, 2008 I had worked outside all day and was just finishing up by washing down the deck on the end of the house. I had dragged the water hose up out of the yard, where I had been watering my grass, and around the corner to wash the deck off – our deck is made of oak butcher block type flooring that I got from a place that makes floor boards for semi truck trailer beds. It is very attractive but looks dirty with just a little trash on it so it needed a wash. The deck is built on a hill side just above ground level on the uphill side and four feet off the ground on the downhill side. I have rails all the way around except on the uphill side. I have dug the hillside out on the uphill side and created a three foot walk way around the deck by using landscape stones to make a wall about four feet tall that holds the dirt on the hill away from the deck. The walk way is only about 10 inches below the deck on that uphill side so it doesn’t need a rail.
All that said. As I dragged the water hose around the corner of the deck to wash the deck and my cell phone rang, I answered and it was my lovely wife, Julie. I sat down in a deck chair that sits with its back to the walkway to talk to her. Well I had not pulled enough of the hose around the corner and the hose was not long enough for me to sit down with it in my hand but I didn’t know that until I sat down in the chair and the hose jerked me causing me to sit down fast and hard.
When I sat down so hard the chair scooted off of the deck and landed on its back in the walkway with me on my back still sitting in the chair. My legs were up in the air and my artificial knee which after all the surgeries and replacements will not bend more that 90 degrees had been jerked by the impact of the fall so that it had bent to far and was very painfully. I had hit my head on the stone landscape wall, scraped my elbow somehow, somewhere and the hose was still spraying water. Julie had heard all the noise of my fall and was yelling on the phone,” What was that? Did you fall? Are you hurt? Hang up and call my dad to come help you! Me? I was just laying there saying “Oh sh^#, oh sh^#, oh god that hurt.”
A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words!
I turned off the water, told Julie to hold on and put her on the speaker phone and lay it down. Since my knee doesn’t work like a normal one I have to leaver my self up, do a sort of awkward pushup with my arms any time I am down on the floor or the ground since I can not get on my knees at all. However I am lying on my back in a metal chair with arms!! I can’t get out of the damn thing. I finally manage to roll and lever myself out of the chair and get up. Julie was still yelling at me and blood is pouring down my head and arm, Tucker, my dog is jumping on me barking. What a mess.
I started laughing and every thing got quiet. I explained that I was ok just a little bunged up and was able to calm Julie down until she was satisfied that I would survive. The fall had caused my knee to bend too much and it was hurting like h@## , my head was splitting and bleeding from bouncing off the wall, my arm was bleeding but I am still laughing.
So that is the comic adventure. I hope to never enjoy another like it! As I tell you this tale I can see you mentally watching my performance and laughing you butt off, and so can I. Now!!
A story of a clumsy old man.