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The Comic Adventure

On October 9, 2008 I had worked outside all day and was just finishing up by washing down the deck on the end of the house. I had dragged the water hose up out of the yard, where I had been watering my grass, and around the corner to wash the deck off – our deck is made of oak butcher block type flooring that I got from a place that makes floor boards for semi truck trailer beds. It is very attractive but looks dirty with just a little trash on it so it needed a wash. The deck is built on a hill side just above ground level on the uphill side and four feet off the ground on the downhill side. I have rails all the way around except on the uphill side. I have dug the hillside out on the uphill side and created a three foot walk way around the deck by using landscape stones to make a wall about four feet tall that holds the dirt on the hill away from the deck. The walk way is only about 10 inches below the deck on that uphill side so it doesn’t need a rail.

All that said. As I dragged the water hose around the corner of the deck to wash the deck and my cell phone rang, I answered and it was my lovely wife, Julie. I sat down in a deck chair that sits with its back to the walkway to talk to her. Well I had not pulled enough of the hose around the corner and the hose was not long enough for me to sit down with it in my hand but I didn’t know that until I sat down in the chair and the hose jerked me causing me to sit down fast and hard.

When I sat down so hard the chair scooted off of the deck and landed on its back in the walkway with me on my back still sitting in the chair. My legs were up in the air and my artificial knee which after all the surgeries and replacements will not bend more that 90 degrees had been jerked by the impact of the fall so that it had bent to far and was very painfully. I had hit my head on the stone landscape wall, scraped my elbow somehow, somewhere and the hose was still spraying water. Julie had heard all the noise of my fall and was yelling on the phone,” What was that? Did you fall? Are you hurt? Hang up and call my dad to come help you! Me? I was just laying there saying “Oh sh^#, oh sh^#, oh god that hurt.”
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A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words!


I turned off the water, told Julie to hold on and put her on the speaker phone and lay it down. Since my knee doesn’t work like a normal one I have to leaver my self up, do a sort of awkward pushup with my arms any time I am down on the floor or the ground since I can not get on my knees at all. However I am lying on my back in a metal chair with arms!! I can’t get out of the damn thing. I finally manage to roll and lever myself out of the chair and get up. Julie was still yelling at me and blood is pouring down my head and arm, Tucker, my dog is jumping on me barking. What a mess.
I started laughing and every thing got quiet. I explained that I was ok just a little bunged up and was able to calm Julie down until she was satisfied that I would survive. The fall had caused my knee to bend too much and it was hurting like h@## , my head was splitting and bleeding from bouncing off the wall, my arm was bleeding but I am still laughing.

So that is the comic adventure. I hope to never enjoy another like it! As I tell you this tale I can see you mentally watching my performance and laughing you butt off, and so can I. Now!!

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A story of a clumsy old man.

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Comments

  • joedog
    joedogover 5 years ago

    I have to say as I was reading knowing you the way I do, I started laughing before I got to the part about the hose dragging you down and even harder as you described the rest now that being said I feel for you you know why I hope your knee is alright and your head and elbow another story so vividly told!

  • Susan Bergstrom
    Susan Bergstromover 5 years ago

    Do we have to keep an eye on you every minute of the day??? Still laughing!!!

  • There was no one to keep an eye on me then, i was all by myself like i am most of the time.

    – barnsis

  • Clive
    Cliveover 5 years ago

    LOL….don’t know what we’re going to do with you Byron, with comical sketches like that we might have to put you on stage….sweeping it….LOL

  • Better clear the front row.

    – barnsis

  • joedog
    joedogover 5 years ago

    Yea but with his luck the broom would knock him off the stage backwards of course LOL!!!

  • SofaKingWeird
    SofaKingWeirdover 5 years ago

    Wow, I didn’t know whether to laugh or go oh shit.
    Does that thing get you in trouble at the airport.? I myself have had three knee surgeries and know the pain involved but this was very funny. Maybe we should get you a backpack blower instead of a garden house.

  • Yes, any time we fly julie has to take care of all the things coming out of the scanner because I am over in the little bullet proof area being scanned and felt up and down, even after i show them the knee card.

    – barnsis

  • BarbL
    BarbLover 5 years ago

    Byron….the visual with you laying there and your feet up in the air had me giggling. Very descriptive piece…I was with ya the whole way! So glad you are okay, though! And isn’t it wonderful when we can laugh at ourselves! Thanks for sharing!

  • Thank you for reading

    – barnsis

  • Enivea
    Eniveaover 5 years ago

    I just wish you had taught Tucker to use the camera!!

  • I think I will take a picture of where I landed and post it with the story { :>)

    – barnsis

  • Susan Bergstrom
    Susan Bergstromover 5 years ago

    Still laughing!!!!

  • Yool
    Yoolover 5 years ago

    :)) :))) :)))) :))))) :)))))) :))))))) :)))))))) :000000000 :))))))))))!!!!!!!!
    =

  • } :>) } :>)
    =

    – barnsis

  • Fran E.
    Fran E.over 5 years ago

    Ouch!!!!
    Hope you’re okay and no am not laughing … yet … (hahahahaha)

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