The first few silent, still moments
like the gentle calm before a raging storm
Swelling up inside of me
Cradled and nestled deep in the sheets
of my oversized bed
I lay wondering…waiting…wanting

Cramps of welcomed pain
develop inside me like the tide’s current
One after another like an ocean swell
In waves of concern
Growing anxious as the pain grows stronger
Feeling inside me the life I have created
tucked between ribs and spinal cord
Kicking to greet the world

Moments turn to hours
quick, yet elegantly
Exploring last quiet moments at home
before my travels to that hospital bed
I had dreaded for nine months
Now suddenly so soothing and peaceful
My place of serenity and assurance
Haven of protection

Dilation permits his entry
The pathway of my profound body
opening up like a flower in full bloom

The pain, excruciating
The pain, exquisite
The pain,
Necessary
Before teary eyes unraveling
This beautiful event
That is my son’s life

They release him from me
Cut him from me
Give him to me
to hold forever in my arms
Naked, new flesh messy on my breast

A tear of relief
A tear of overwhelmed happiness

In this moment it is just he and I
I see no doctors, no IVs
I hear no shouting conversation
of overly excited spectators
No flashing camera or cell phone conversations
spreading the news of fresh life
Just me and my child
in that hospital bed
I greet him with abundant smiles
and soothing, shushing tones
which comes so naturally
So natural to nurture this soul which is my love