I look at the calendar
I want to make plans
I then remember
Drs appointment
Can’t do it on that day
Maybe next time we can

I check my planner
Nope not a good time
Why might you ask
Drs appointment I answer

Im tired, my body is tired
My eyes and ears are tired
Im tired
Im tired of drs
Im tired of needles and urine samples

My day doesn’t consist of any normalcy
as it once did
Can’t stay awake when watching a movie
Can’t stay awake to read a few pages of a book

My life as I once knew it exists no more
I don’t feel sorry for myself
I feel pain for my children
Especially when my son asks
“Mom are you going to lose your hair”
“Mom are you going to be in the hospital for long”
“Mom why are you still tired”

He’s 12, he doesn’t fully understand
It’s not something he needs to understand
However because it has stricken his mom
He has to understand
Come my little man, let’s chat for a bit

Im not sure what will or won’t happen
But while Im here and you are here
We will be here for one another
How’s that?
Great, mom and mom…
Yes my sweet boy
I love you…

Kimberlie my sweet girl
Doing so much better
She fully understands
She wants her Mom
Her Mom wants her
Not much longer sweet pea

I hate knowing their minds are racing
Full of questions no doubt
You don’t lie to them and you don’t sugar coat it
Ive been somewhat “chastised” by a family member
because they don’t want their kids knowing about what I have

I didn’t ask for all of this
I had no clue where my path was leading me
But while Im on this path
I will do whatever I need to in order to get better
I will fight for my kids and for my husband and for
MYSELF….