I stood in my air conditioned home yet it felt like I was standing directly in the 40 degree sun – It felt like my skin was burning.
The panic sets in – what to grab? How long do I have? Am I ever going to see my home again? Will I still have this life when I return?.
I pulled out the driveway and saw the flames, That was the very moment I realised my life was about to change forever, The life we had build was about to be taken and we were never going to be the same again., and how I managed to drive with the limited vision through the tears and immediate devastation is to this day beyond me.
My main concern was not for Us as I knew we were safe but for my Dad who was in Kilmore on the strike team and had not been heard from, I cant begin to imagine what must have been going through his mind when he did call home to check in only to be told of the events unfolding in his home town, To this day I have nothing but admiration for all those who risk their own lives to help protect others, Some people want to pass the blame whether it be to the CFA, SES or DSE. The only person I believe could have prevented this is the person who started it, the person who destroyed the lives, hope and dreams of so many families, the murderer who stole an innocent life.
The following weeks were so hectic and little more then a blur, Other the vivid nightmares that haunted me for weeks on end – There was not one night that I was able to close my eyes and not be take back to that night, it was dark and I stood there frozen staring at the blue and red lights flashing on top of the fire truck, they would flash over and over again in my head until most night I was finally able to cry my self to sleep.
I don’t ask why anymore – I think its pretty clear that it takes a very sick and twisted person to be an arsonist
I’m not holding my breath to find out who – I think we will be very lucky if we ever do
As much as I try to just move on there is not a day that goes by that there isn’t something I think of that we lost, or wish I had grabbed.
I really hope one day the person who did this will read stories like this one and really see how much everyone’s lives have been affected,
Not just the lives of us that fully understand the extent of what happen, What do you say to a child who knows what happened but just wants to know why? How do you explain that there are bad people out there that start fires and take away peoples homes with out filling an innocent 3 year olds head with nightmares and a fear of people, a child once so outgoing and people orientated turned in the blink of an eye into a child who gets hysterical and inconsolable if you move out of her sight.
Now all I can do is hope that my children are young enough that they will eventually forget and not have to live the rest of their lives with the burden of the memories.