whales

she stood faithfully next to him
her hand hovering
the only person he had left
the only person he’d had left to leave
tears cried dry that night
enough to fill the bathroom sink
she saved every one
heart beating dull and lifeless
squeezed numb that afternoon
she was alone
just her and the hard wooden box
approximately 6 feet long
the only one at the edge of the hole
in the middle of Pagoda, Colorado

she had never seen the ocean
though she knew where the wind came from
up at 6,500 feet
there was no way not to know
he was going to marry her
there wasn’t a ring
just a tankful of gas
a couple spare tires roped to the chassis
and lots and lots of chocolate
he would blindfold her and drive all the way to San Diego
kneel on the beach at sunrise
her eyelids heavy with sleep
his skin soft and salty
“marry me”
“ok”

she stared glassy-eyed as the box was lowered into the ground
that cold dark pit in the earth
her fingers crumbled a clod of dirt
jamming it under her nails and smoothing it
into the cracks in her palm
the wind didn’t dare rustle through her hair
and instead twiddled with her shirt sleeve
tugging as if asking to please go home
please cry
please feel
until finally she turned and strode gracefully away

they were saving up for a little place
one right by the sea
miles from the city and skyscrapers
where the seagulls would be their rooster
and the foamy surf their coffee
they would bury their toes in the sand every dawn
waiting for the sun to rise on the backs of the surfacing whales
slipping over the golden waves
and singing good morning to each other
how happy they were
how lovely it all was

she drove back to their cabin
high up in the Rocky Mountains
snaking carefully with the winding paths
everything was familiarly comforting
the thin air and the things it carried
like eagles screaming
the smell of horses and snow
or how it made the moon brighter
she gathered every blanket she could find
started a fire in the fireplace
and surrounded herself with all of the plants and animals they had saved together
before locking the door
and then she breathed

they would have a little girl
name her Sydney
she would have curly brown hair that sparkled gold
and seaweed green eyes in a bed of blushing cheeks
her favorite food was grapefruit with a maraschino cherry on top
but only a pinch of sugar
she liked tossing starfish back to the sea
and collecting fallen coconuts
she would lead every adventure to and from the beach
she would keep soft coloured sea glass
in a pearl jewelery box under her bed
she wasn’t afraid of the crabs and geckos that scuttled about her room at night
and she slept between mummy and daddy when she was cold
sometimes she would sing with the whales
for some time she was real

she licked her lips and pressed the pencil to a blank sheet of paper
so empty and white against the dark metallic lead
she curled it around
pulling it in a single curvy outline
and connected the ends before lifting the point
she drew a beautiful picture of a whale
she listened as the fire crackled its approval
before dabbing a bit of blue and green inside the lines
then she taped the paper on the wall
and began again
this time with markers
and again she taped it to the wall
and again she started fresh with crayons
then watercolour paints
and charcoal and pens and oil pastels
until all the walls were covered with hundreds of whales
and they spread across the floor
each of them different from the rest
a gigantic family of whales
all of them singing the same song

she had one scrap of paper left
and on it
she drew a beautiful picture of a whale

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Tags:

draw, ocean and whale